So, what actors/actresses DON'T have perfect asses?

There’s a lot of ass in movies. Sex scenes, shower scenes, mooning scenes, running through the woods scenes, just walking around neked scenes, etc. My question is, you hardly EVER see someone without a perfect ass. Women in particularly. They’re always round and smooth and not a single blemish on them (unless of course, the story calls for a big fat, pimple ridden, hairy ass, but how often does that happen).

So, I’m curious. What actors out there have a rather sub par pair of buttox?

What makes you think that you’re seeing the actor/actresses’ real ass? They use body doubles for a reason.

HEYYYYY! You’ve read my screenplay!

Dennis Franz, on NYPD Blue, bared his ass, as did the actress who was playing his love interest at the time. Neither one of them was attractive.

The guy who played Farve in Super Troopers*. [shudder]

For that matter, when David Caruso did his obligatory shower scene in the first season, I don’t remember being very impressed. Bony and pasty, as I recall.

Michael Douglas in FATAL ATTRACTION. Flattest ass I ever saw on the screen.

I believe the butt shot (?) of Jeanne Triplehorn in Water World was really a body double. Kind of surprising since Triplehorn was in Basic Instinct and all.

I remember reading a quote from her during production, saying how fun it was to pick out her “dream butt”.

Julia Roberts - Pretty Woman = Butt/Body Double

Lynda Carter, God bless her, has (well, okay, had – I have no idea what it looks like today) an incredibly flat posterior, especially given how curvaceous the rest of her is/was.

Goldie Hawn. Check her’s out in Captain Ron.
Olivia Newton-John doesn’t have much of an ass, but she shakes it quite well in Xanadu in the montage scene near the end after she sings the title song. She’s wearing a tiger print mini skirt. [drool]

Most of those actresses have not nearly an ass to speak of. Bah.

Will Farrel did a skit on SNL in which he wore a USA flag-motif thong/speedo thing. His butt was a cellulitey horror. (But maybe it was purposely made up to look that way. Dunno.)

If you watch the end of “Alien,” you’ll see that Sigorney Weaver has a very flat butt.

Howard Stern on the 1994 MTV awards show!

Gary Burgoff showed his in a brief flash scene in MASH.

Not bad.

Laura San Giacomo.

Her general appearance, from the front, is very attractive, even though she is nowhere near being a classic beauty. I like the face – it looks human.

However, when seen from the side, or (to a lesser extent) from the rear, her rump is almost non-existent.

I have noticed this many times before in my life-long studies on this topic. Well-endowed busts are often coupled with lackluster or negligible rumps. The previously-mentioned Linda Carter is a fine example. This is very disappointing to me, since I believe a fine female ass is one of those things that is to be gloried in; indeed, it may be what evolution is all about.

Maybe the universe doesn’t have a plan, after all.

Gwyneth Paltrow is a Grade-A star, and she has a terrible body. Flabby and droopy all over.

Truer words were never spoken my friend!

You’ve never shared an elevator with Tony Robbins, have you?