Well, if money is all that Cecil loves then that’s what he’ll receive.
I’ll up the Ante to TWO sets of SD books AND a coffee mug! And I’ll give them out to people for Christmas. Not whole sets. I’ll give each person one so they’ll be forced to purchase the rest of the set.
Bang! Cecil gets like, what? 40 new books sold. And all because of me.
And I’ll throw in some local Raspberry wine. Just tell me who to ship it to.
So how 'bout it? You can come to the Dope-A-Ween, too!
A Cecil-shaped beacon at the Castle Anthrax!
And I’ll bet you regularly light it to mislead the occasional wandering knight on the Quest for the Holy Cecil.
You deserve that spanking, zoot! 
[sub]OK, now that I’m here, where are the eightscore young blondes and brunettes between the ages of sixteen and nineteen and a half?[/sub]
no, that is my identical twin sister, dingo. no, wait, that is me. oh, bad, naughty, wicked, evil me!! as to the young blondes and brunettes, they’re busy right now. where do you think all that exciting underwear at victoria’s secret really comes from?
From the lame columns thread:
So there he was on his Cecil Balcony, blessing us all, and yet still we whine, still we teem, we millions. We seethe, we boil, we ruminate and pontificate. We’re a cottage industry, practically! You’d think he’d be on his knees, thanking us!
::looking up, cowering, waiting for the lightning bolt::
Hmm, somehow “One of the 17,964(current registered member count minus RTFirefly) loved and cherished by Cecil Adams” doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Steven
That’s why it’s more fun to be the exception! 
Oh, you wusses! Buck it up. Are you here for the glory? For the medals? For Cecil-greetings? Then you can go home right now. Listen close, fighting ignorance isn’t one of your “glamor” jobs. You get your hands dirty. It’s messy. Mankind isn’t going to thank you for letting them know that a pig has a corkscrew penis. You’re going to be laughed at, mocked, called names. You’re going to go up against people who think they know the third -gry word, against people who are afraid of an e-mail tax, and against people who don’t know the difference between the Judean Popular Front and the Popular Front of Judea, and if you’re lucky, you’ll educate one person, who won’t realize it till after you’re dead. You want to sell out for fame, go to the Ann Landers Message Board, but if you’re willing to go to the trenches against ignorance, then say proudly,
I AM a doper!
And that’s the reward you’ll get. That ability to say that and mean it. The pride in knowing you’re doing this. If that’s not enough, I’m sorry, but that is why we fight, and that is why we’ll keep on fighting.
I got the answer,
send him some nude pictures of yourself.
Of course there is a Cecil. He attended one of the Dopefests a couple of years back.
I have been watching this thread with increasing intrest. Cecil has to stop by. He just has to. Come on Uncle Cece . . . make like Moses and come down from the mountain. I promise - no golden cows, I mean in less you like that sort of thing.
Show your face.
Touch the masses.
Mass touching is fun.
Please ?
By God, Captain Amazing, you’re right!
I AM A DOPER!
[sub]Now do you think maybe he’ll welcome me? :D[/sub]
Esprix
Dammit, I refuse to give up this easily.
Anything worth doing is worth doing til the end !
Or something.
Bump
Ce-cil! Ce-cil! Ce-cil!
Esprix
Ha, I say! Esprix has as much chance of being personally welcomed by Cecil as I do!
…well?
of MYself? Um…trust me. That wouldn’t help lure him to this thread.
I got threatened in a mean, yet jovial manner by Ed, in a pit-thread, no less and that’s nothing to sneeze at of course. But somehow…somehow, as much as I respect Ed for his dedication to duty and putting up with Cecil’s eccentric genius, getting noticed by Ed, while waiting for Cecil is like waiting for Mickey Mantle but getting Joe Shlabotnik instead.
Hey, Unca Cecil! I’ll tell ya what: if you welcome me (and Esprix, since he started this thread), I won’t send you naked pictures of myself.
Fenris
Hot, wild, sweaty, uninterrupted jungle sex that lasts at least a whole weekend.
Hmm…
Well, I’m a doper. I’m fighting ignorance. So I can’t just ignore a chance like this, can I?
Although I highly doubt it’ll happen…
If Cecil doesnt welcome Esprix, then ALL the dopers will send him self porn. Video if you have it, but photos will work. If everyone stands behind this plan it has to work. So everyone get those images ready!
[self-deprecating whine, not to be taken too seriously]
Hell, I’d like to know what it takes to get welcomed by anyone! Sig test, my Aunt Fanny. Huh.
[/self-deprecating whine, not to be taken too seriously]
Personally, I think a welcome from Unca Cece might alleviate a little of the pain.
::waits patiently, smiling and waving::
Ya mean I’ve got more posts than CECIL?!?! Good Grief! Does that make him a (GASP) NEWBIE!? :eek:
I don’t expect to get noticed by the Great One until at least, oh, say, Post 5000. At the rate I’m going that should be sometime next month!