So what kind of shorts is real man supposed to wear?

In My Humble Opinion
1

So over here in this thread, I made note of the fact that I was wearing jean shorts. (not jorts!!)

In return I got a good bit of friendly teasing for it from my fellow Dopers. So it left me wondering: What kind of shorts are the “cool” men wearing these days? I always thought they looked presentable myself. I’m just not see’n the tacky in my blue jean shorts. :slight_smile:

So please enlighten me.

BTW: For those of you who introduced me to the world of “jorts”; I will curse you til the day I die!! It’ll take me forever to get those images out of my head!! :smiley:

2

Cotton in a basic weave like twill in a neutral color. Linen would be fine. Length should be touching the top of the knee when standing. Mid knee or bottom of the knee is ok if you’re not quite sure you are a real man. Anything longer are more like culottes or man capris and look awful but a lot of men don’t realize it.

3

Real men don’t wear shorts. We wear pants.

Edit: And we drink beer while we do it.

4

Real men don’t wear shorts unless engaged in sporting activity, preferably a manly one.

5

Shorts = Unmanly

6

IMHO, real men do not request fashion advice.

7

I am making a modification to my post in light of DCnDC’s contribution.

It is forgivable to wear shorts if engaged in a manly sport.

Soccer does NOT count.

8

These.

You’re still going to look silly, though.

9

I find acceptable shorts at Eddie Bauer, Banana Republic (the irony!), Patagonia, Columbia and Hang Ten.

10

I’m wearing a pair of camo cargo shorts. They were woven from old Soviet camo nets used in Afghanistan and given to me by a DELTA operative I met in a bar in Vegas after I beat him best 2 out of 3 at Russian Roulette (as well as the regular kind). I asked him why he was carrying around a gay-ass pair of shorts. He told me that they were actually long pants but the bottoms got all torn up by a IED explosion and he had to cut them off.

I mostly wear them to Bar-B-Qs, monster truck races and any other events that involve beer, guns, engines, women in bikinis or burning meat.

11

First, jean shorts are jorts. Second they went out of style for men in about 1995.

Stick to some plain front khaki shorts or cargo shorts. No pleats and no denim.

12

Meh. I wear jean shorts. They’re not tight and short, though, which I thought was a requirement for jorts. I also wear regular cotton, cargo shorts, and nylon. Seriously, real men don’t ask such questions.

13

Cargo shorts. As many pockets as possible. All the better to conceal your smokes, whisky flask, handgun, and copious amounts of condoms.

Living in Florida, men who wear pants year round in 98 degree heat with 90 percent humidity just look out of place. And you’re just asking for a scorching case of monkey-ass.

14

Pantywaist.

Whatever you do, don’t wear cargo shorts unless you want to look like you’re 17. Also, don’t wear jean shorts, unless you also still have a mullet.

15

I thought denim shorts were an acceptable substitute for a mullet.

I wear cargo shorts all the time. Flip-flops, too! It’s Florida. Screw your rules.

16

One more for cargo shorts. Denim shorts look stupid on everyone, unless you’re a female with nice legs, and they’re short.

17

I favor plaid bermudas. Cargo shorts look silly with a black socks and wingtips.

18

Those of you men that shrug and say “meh, I’ll wear what I want”- yes, that is your right. However, we will be pointing and laughing, and we will be posting your picture on websites so that the rest of the world can join in. Know that.

19

I’m good looking, so it’s okay. :wink:

20

Real men don’t follow styles. They create them.