Pay attention to me. I’ve got a spiritual void that needs filling. I’ve decided I want the shells back over my eyes. Or wool. Or blinders. I want to abandon intelligence and logic and go back to being blissfully ignorant, but I can’t do it.
God? I’m more comfortable calling him The Higher Power like the Fuckups Anonymous do. I CAN believe the Higher Power exists. Note that’s CAN, not DO. I can buy there’s a gigantic presence vastly superior to us humans. But it would be on the magnitude of a scientist studying microbes. He can observe the amoebae, but he doesn’t really understand what makes them tick. He can give names to amoeba characteristics, like alleles, cytoplasma, and so on, and watch as they squirm and wiggle in genetic soup. But he can’t communicate with them, nor can they with him. It’s not that Higher Power is uncaring; he’s just too advanced to care.
Miracles? So fucking what. A planeload of people didn’t die when it crashed. A week later, another planeload dd. Why did God spare one and not the other? Answer: he didn’t know or care. It was more microbes flopping around to him. If he did have a hand in it, why do we want to follow a being that’s so capricious? Any time faith is rewarded, we overlook the millions of other times when it wasn’t.
Jesus? He talked a good game, but when it all came down to it, he stood out too much and became a target. The ones who are in power or thought they were in power viewed him as a threat, and had him publicly destroyed. What does that say for those trying to be individuals and stand out? You will be brought down. People will talk about you afterward, but does that make the pain of your castigation any easier? Plus, a lot of people who claim they believe in you will twist your message and use it to justify their own ambitions. This of course, assumes Jesus even existed. I will grant that he is the most believable of mythological figures, since he was celebrated more for his suffering than his heroic exploits. Is pain and defeat what we should aspire to?
Pagans/Wiccans/New Agers/Fortune Tellers/Astrologers—it’s all bullshit and you know it. You just want to stay being children with make believe toy worlds and invisible friends. You get to light candles, wear wacky costumes, and chant blather just like you did in kindergarten. Your spiritual needs aren’t filled. Just your gullible ones.
Ghosts/Spirits/Demons/Angels—they’re ll in your head, people. We’ve only got your testimony as proof. Your testimony is altered by your desperately wanting to be believed. They exist because you want them to. Just like when you believed in Santa Claus, but somehow you grew out of that. But look at this picture of an orb! It wasn’t there when I took the picture! Your flash reflected off a shiny surface in the background, genius. Even if it is genuine and supernatural, what’s so fucking cool about an orb? If that’s a real person from the past, then it’s even sadder that all it’s got as a past life experience is to float around like a partially deflated birthday balloon for eternity.
Islam/Youslam/Everybodyslam—what the fuck happened to you? You used to be the most advanced civilization in the world, but you dumbed yourself down for the past 2000 years. You make up for your stunted development by resorting to and condoning devastating extremism, thinking if it takes you to destruction, it makes you right. What have you got to show for your faith and devotion? The rest of the world hates you and only deals with you because you live on oil basins.
Communism/Socialism/What’syoursismineism—Good for you for eschewing religion. Did it do you any good? Guess what, the powers that be still found another way to control and exploit you. They convinced you that you had to be part of a braying herd and that you can’t aspire to anything higher. At least with your former god, you could believe there was something better out there, if not more interesting. This dull fate is worse than any religious society’s.
Buddhists/Hinduists/Taoists/ETCists—You seem to have it all together, but you do so by isolating yourselves and cutting yourselves off from the rest of the world. Why can’t I live a normal life and be enlightened? If the answers lie in redefining the questions, then all I’m doing is avoiding the void already inside me and deluding myself, which is just as bad as being deluded by the mass hysteria that is religion. But that’s what I want in the first place isn’t it? To be blissfully ignorant. But I can do that without having to train a lifetime for it.
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