So, what will cause someone to get fired on the spot where you work?

What things will get you walked out the door at your job? (Literally walked out the door by a security guard so they can’t get to their computer). IME it’s very rare that anyone gets fired, but there are situations wherein people have been walked out the door.

I’ve seen several people walked out the door in my 20-odd years of working. One was for blatant timecard fraud, the other was a blatant security violation (everyone where I work has a security clearance of some sort). If people make mistakes or are just dumb, that’s usually forgiven. Example: someone leaving a Secret document on their desk and going home is bad, but accidental. They get a talking-to and get put on a list. (I think it takes 3 or 4 minor security violations to get fired). We’ve been told that one can be walked out the door in cases of sexual harrassment, but I don’t know of any people who’ve lost their jobs because of it. (The worst was one person who, tragically, had a major crush on a co-worker but never did anything about it, but he was so moon-eyed around her that he got moved to a different project in a different building).

The things I tell new hires is: timecard fraud, security violations and sexual harrassment are the “third rail.”

What happens where you work?

My last job, the guy who ran errands (shuttled back and forth between our office, the owner’s office nearby, the post office, etc.) had the company car … somewhere (never got the straight story on that) where it wasn’t supposed to be … he was fired immediately.

Based on what I’ve seen, you could drop trou and copy your ass on the president’s personal Xerox machine and no one would bat an eyelash.

In the only case I recall - having an unrestrained capricious arsehole as your director. The only time I recall the employee, who was blind, had done nothing other than point out errors in his director’s thinking.

Although as I typed that I recalled that many years ago an IT guy had been caught by an EDP Audit that revealed that he had created a partition on our mainframe that he was using for his own business. Since we are a government agency that was kind of frowned on.

Other than that there have been all sorts of incidents - no murders, but assaults; and although the assailants have all ended up gone it wasn’t immediate.

In my job it takes a lot to be fired, if you are good, you basically get to stay. However, if they found out you even TALKED to another place about working there (interviews, calls, applications), you are DONE.

I work with food. If you did anything unsavoury to the food that is a pretty good way to get fired before your shift ends.

Theft, naturally.

Threatening a co-worker with a box-cutter seems to be pretty safe, though – unless every other employee in the department threatens to quit if you’re not dismissed.

Now that I work in an academic setting? I think you’d have to shoot up the place to be fired on the spot.

  1. Biting, scratching, or kicking.
  2. Smelling like old cheese. This means you, Earl.
  3. Glitter in any form.
  4. Wearing that green plaid sport coat one more time. JUST ONE MORE TIME.
  5. Peeing in file drawers.
  6. Escaping, or aiding escape, from the gimp kennels.
  7. Attempting a hostile corporate takeover.
  8. Failure to dangle while wearing high heels.
  9. Taking the name “R. Lee Ermey” in vain.
    and the Number 1 thing that can get you fired on the spot at BoDE, Inc.:
  10. Cheek farts.

This is what I was going to say. And, assuming you didn’t actually kill anyone, or get “neutralized” yourself, at my place you probably wouldn’t get fired - you’d get long term disability and a boat load of counselling.

Obviously, I’m not going to test this theory out, but I firmly believe it to be true.

Yeah, the public library is hard to get fired from. When I worked at the circ desk, though, I was told that giving out information to somebody on the phone who did not have their library card number was absolutely a fireable offense; never seen it happen, though.

What Jodi said. Apparently even well-documented sexual harrassment of students won’t do it if you have tenure.

At my other place of employment, I’m my own boss, so I can’t fire me, I quit!

Just about the only thing I can think of around here would be posting on a message forum from your work computer.

Hey guys! What’s up? It’s work-related I tell ya. Say, get yer stinkin hands off …

In my five years at the company, I’ve seen three receptionists handcuffed and walked out by police officers. Each of them obviously had warrants out for their arrest, and were located by the personal details they gave out on the application.

For the other employees, it’s a state job, and it’s nearly impossible to get fired, except for egregious abuses of one kind or another. One got fired for what amounted to gross incompetence. Another got fired for what we suspect was a serious drug problem, but we’re not sure. One got fired for failing to mention that he was a registered sex offender on his application, and someone just happened to see his photo and details on the police website - after he’d been there for two years. That, and he was running a talent booking agency out of his office, often instead of doing his job.

Aside from those, nobody else has done anything shady enough to get fired. The process for management to fire someone from a state job is long and detailed, and they have to get all their ducks in a row to cover their asses - which is Job #1. CYA.

Violence or threats of violence. Absolute zero tolerance for that around here.

Refusing to take a random drug test. This might seem extreme to some folks, but a lot of our people have to drive vehicles and operate heavy machinery. Considering the legal liabilities we have, this doesn’t seem harsh to me at all.

Even a hint of financial chicanery will get you gone real fast, and quite likely land you in jail.

Same at my old job. I used to joke that I think you would actually have to come in shooting to get fired- and even then they would probably send you for anger management classes and welcome you back. And promote you.

In my five years at the company, I’ve seen three receptionists handcuffed and walked out by police officers. Each of them obviously had warrants out for their arrest, and were located by the personal details they gave out on the application.
Too bad you are not in Michigan- we have a former receptionist out there somewhere with a warrant out for her arrest after she stole from us.

At my job (vet hospital)- all actual firing instances.

Kennel Staff- You can be fired for abuse of an animal/anger towards an animal- one kennel person was caught outside “training” her own dog- a two pound chihuahua by hitting it. That was pretty embarrassing for us (and sad for the tiny, sweet little dog) and fired her on the spot. We also fired a girl on the spot for failing to give a pet the correct medical-related diet when it was CLEARLY marked to do so (it was not the first time).

Techs- drug abuse, practicing medicine without a veterinary license (tech took shots home and went on her own personal housecalls), removing intubation tube from a cat without deflating it :eek: .

Receptionists- Embezzlement, excessive rudeness to clients, failure to show up to work more than once a month (long story), extreme stupidity (asking a person whose dog was just diagnosed with cancer - insert snarky voice here-“What’s wrong with your dog?” or my personal favorite- asking a client whose dog’s toe was amputated whether Bear still looks like he’s “flipping people off”.

Manager- That’s my job, and I don’t know any manager that has ever been fired there. However, the manager at our former associated hospital stole over $30,000 :eek: and paid off her credit card debt by refunding her card at the hospital terminal. She was fired and then arrested but lucky for her, her parents cared enough about her to get a second mortgage and pay back what she stole (that has to make for some awkward family holidays).

One of my clients, a high manager level, was walked out the door with no notice. Whenever we tried to find out what happened, his boss simply said “sexual harassment” and nothing else.

Not the same but one of my bosses, whenever an employee gave notice, told them “If you’re not happy here, there’s no reason to stay another two weeks,” and walked them right out the door.

I am in healthcare so, number one would be stealing drugs. Two stealing money or property, three, insubordination, four, extreme rudeness to a patient.

Other than that, pretty much anything else goes. :slight_smile:

The three people I know about who got fired on the spot at my job did the following:

A Director left abandoned his project for a week and was later found in hotel room surrounded by pizza boxes and empty liquor bottles like Collin Farrel in The Recruit.

A manager after exhibiting gross incompetance declared “that’s just how I do things”.

Some guy from the mailroom had a business selling toner out of the mailroom (which makes him an idiot as out company investigates corporations for a living)