I have to find a Christmas present for my best friend Bob’s daughter Mia. The sad fact is, no matter how immature I seem, I’m still pretty much out of touch with the five-year-old girl community. A stuffed animal, no matter how fancy, won’t cut it again this year. Also, I have been advised by my girlfriend that throwing knives and firearms are inappropriate for a girlchild.
So, any ideas? For me the cost is NOT an object, but keep in mind I don’t want to embarrass my friend Bob for whom cost is something to consider.
Also: A Playstation 2 is out of the question. I cannot get one for myself (even with all my knowledge of throwing knives and firearms) let alone one for little Mia.
So help me please. Without guidance I will simply go the easy route and get little Mia a Ruger SP-101 .357 magnum stainless steel five-shot hammerless “quickdraw” revolver, which she cannot legally appreciate until she’s eighteen.
Well, the annoying Poo-Chi, the Interactive Puppy seems to be something that young girls are liking this year. My niece (age 5) and her friends are big on that one.
How about buying her the Rugrats movie? Five year olds like the Rugrats. Or find out if she has a favorite Nickelodeon character–CatDog, Angry Beavers, Wild Thornberrys, Rocko, etc. There is no end to the toys/games/dolls that are available with these characters.
Also check to see if she’s a fan of Bear in the Big Blue House. Endless possibilities.
Kids are people too, and you have to take that into consideration.
That said, I’m a big fan of the ‘make things’ sort of gifts. (Making perfume was my personal favorite when I was little. Chemistry and annoying the parents. Perfect.) There are lots of great project kits out of the market that will have Bob hating you for years! (My aunt excels at gifts that piss of my mom. Her best? When she got me the ‘built your own alter’ guidebook. I loved it, my parents just about wanted to skin her.)
If Mia is really girly get her a decent piece of jewelry. Not something excessive, but even girlchildren can tell the difference between plastic and nice. A nice silver bracelet with a semi precious stone, lapis or amythest come to mind, could be really effective. (This may be a little old for her, depending on her ability to respect and care about nice things. I’m still not able to appreciate nice jewelry, so I usually hand it off to my little sister, who loves fine things.)
If you don’t want Bob to hate you, and you like the little dear, see if you could take her out for an afternoon. On the ‘make things’ angle, one of those paint your own pottery places where you buy and paint some ceramic thing and they fire it could be a lot of fun with no mess. It also gives Bob and wife a quiet afternoon. (Two in one!) If you go this route give the kid a gift certificate that describes the afternoon, and make it nice.
Hmm… I may think of more, but I’d need to know more about Mia.
Look to the old classics, Barbie and Disney. Just watch the Disney channel and Nickelodeon for a while and pay attention to the commercials. Or you could just get the really big $100 Eeyore, I know I would love it. If I don’t have it by then I’m making my husband buy me one while on our honeymoon.
Tinkertoys! I got Consumer Reports yesterday and they had toy ratins in this issue, and they mentioned that wooden Tinkertoys are back. (The Tinkertoys Classic Jumbo Builder Set were rated 3rd in their category, after Lego Championship Challenge and Lincoln Logs King’s Castle.)
Remember how parents were beating down the doors and rioting in stores for that Teddy Ruxpin or Cabbage Patch Kid? $100-$200 a pop for those suckers. Well now they’re all sitting on a shelf unbought and unloved. They’re crying out for someone to buy them. Desperately pleading, in their midlife crisis, to not collect dust for yet another day. Who cares if it was 10 years ago? The kid’s 5, you think she’s keeping up with the trends of the '80s? Those things are probably upside down in some $5.99 bargain bin right now. Cheap and peppy, that’s my motto.
When I was a five year old girl, I wanted a baseball mitt, Hot Wheels and stuffed animals, but I’m not really typical.
My neice enjoys the creative stuff–I scored big with a 10,000 bead set, but kids that aren’t artistic hate this stuff, hopefully you know her well enough to know how she’d react to this. Kids this age are starting to get into board games–either geared for other little kids, or the simplier faily games. Then you can start the tradition of coming over to play the game with her–things that help kids get quality adult attention are always welcome.
As a long distant aunt, with no children of my own, my role has always been to buy the noisy and/or obnoxious toys that the parents hate–anything musical–especially if she has no natural talent–pleases the child and annoys the parents. You’d be surprised how many noisy board games there are–things with hippos and paddles and things that pop up. Of course, I get to play them with the kids and be noisy too, a plus for my inner child.
Finally, no one can have too many stuffed animals. Ever.
Ah-ha! Thanks EvilBeth! The annoying Poo-Chi (love the name of that. An enticing mixture of scatology and eastern belief) will serve two purposes. First off, it will
delight little Mia, second, it will annoy the hell out of Bob and his lady love! What more could the weird uncle ask for?
And, yes, obviously I was kidding about getting a .357 revolver for her…
Clearly a .25 auto Baretta’s recoil would be more manageable for an eight-year-old (gotta’ keep those little boys in line).
Butt-plug indeed.
Dammit! I just realized. She has a Poo-chi (or close equivilant) it’s one of those robot-y looking dogs, right? Tripped over the unused, forlorn digital critter last visit.
Back to square one.
I like the craftsy ideas --like her dad she’s very creative. But as I recall a fingerpaint kit ended in disaster, and I suspect one of those bead workshops might be a bit on the “choking hazard” side.
Are Tinkertoys and Lego’s too complicated for a five-year-old?
T-toys are perfect for 5yr olds. At 5 they are not to Oral so parts don’t go in to the mouth that often. T-toys teach skills in slow hand eye coordination. I miss mine.
Okay, I have a 4-year old niece so I’m lableing myself “expert” here.
Anything Brittany Spears
Barbie anything
Make up of any sort (they have those kits for little girls)
Power Puff girl stuff (back pack, clothes, etc)
Anything dress up: ballerina costume stuff, etc.
Is Mia a girly-girl like my niece? If so, any of the above should work. Also, tea sets, the little sets of dishes you can buy, etc.
Now, that being said, I don’t necessarily approve of my niece’s infatuation with Brittany Spears, Barbie et al. I always try to buy her something where she can use her imagination or that is quasi-educational. This year, I’m buying here a ballerina costume from Avon (has the tu-tu and the tiara) and some ballet shoes. I’m waiting for her to get older so I can buy her those gazillion piece art sets I always wanted as a kid (nothing like living vicariously!).
Mia is plenty girly-girl, but I’m not sure I’m up to buying her a ballerina outfit (I have only just recently got to the point where I am willing to buy my girlfriend tampons, and on a side note: How the hell was I expected to know that there were different sizes?).
Barbie is also a good idea I suppose, but once again I’m out of my comfort-zone there. Side note: Mia is a quarter black, a quarter white, one quarter mexican one quarter Pontiac Indian, do they even make a nice coffee colored Barbie? If not they should.
Those 101 piece art sets make me drool too! But I think I’ll wait a year or two for the fingerpaint episode to be forgotten.
Tinker Toys are looking better and better, and besides, I’ll get to play with 'em when I babysit!
As the father of a 6 yr old, I would say, if money were no issue:
American Girl
Cool lifelike dolls and a whole marketing giant behind them with tie ins to books, clothes (she and the doll can match):rolleyes: etc. They’re not cheap though AMHIK:eek:
PPGirls stuff is way cool too.
A CD player boombox and some pop CD’s would make you a cool person too.
One of those Razor scooters if you don’t care much for her! She’ll be cool until she splits her head open (guess what Claire isn’t going to get!)
I dunno about hardcore, but what the heck is wrong with getting her books? Even if she’s not reading (or reading much) yet, surely there must be something you can get. And if you look around, there are a number of children’s books which take a more disgusting tone, such as “Sammy’s Sandwich” (or something like that), a book in the shape of a sandwich with a different bug hidden in each sandwich layer. I’m sure you’ll find something to suitably warp her delicate little mind.
jr8
“There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.”
– W.C. Fields
For one thing, Mia likes dolls, but in a way unlike any other kid I’ve ever seen (which isn’t saying much, really).
Mia is creepy-smart and arranges her dolls and stuffed animals into these complicated tableaus, complete with plot dynamics, character development, motivations and story arcs! I at five was running around with a towel around my neck trying to fly, and here she is acting out Russian drawing room dramas.
Which brings me to another reason I’m reluctant to get her another doll or another stuffed animal. The personalities she attributes to her various toys linger on after playtime is over. Some toys are simply not allowed to mingle with certain other toys lest there be unrest in her little kingdom.
For example, Raggedy Ann is simply not speaking with Rainbow Brite this week due to some harsh words Miss Brite directed towards Fireman Dalmatian, who had once rescued Raggedy from Stuffed Alligator. In retaliation, Rainbow has started snuggling up to Rubber Snake in an attempt to form a strategic social alliance with Rubber Snake and his Sock Monkey Clan (despite SMC’s history of good relations with Fireman Dalmatian).
No, I’m not making this up.
The point is, the worst of all the villains and the source of all the evil goings-on in Mia’s little story arcs is Stuffed Alligator. Stuffed Alligator is so evil that even when playtime is over he must be separated from all other toys lest his villainy corrupt them all.
And yes, I gave Mia Stuffed Alligator. And stupid as it sounds, it breaks my heart.
Based on this info I would recommend the following
“The Prince” Machiavelli
“The Art of War” Sun Tzu
but seriously, the American Girls would quickly rise to the monarchy of the doll social clique, dominating all others and either:
Scenario A) The girls foster even more intrigue by setting one another up through various subterfuges including the Alligator and a veiled wedding and vicious rumours about those depraved monkeys.
Scenario B) the girls restore order to the galaxy and reign benevolently, with Stuffed Alligator doing just fine after his “rehabilitation”
