I’m a bit miffed. I sent a friend I’ve known for almost five years a wedding invitation. Not only did he not RSVP, but I had to find out through a friend that the reason he’s not coming is that as I am having a pagan handfasting, he as a Christian finds it offensive.
Now, I’m not even going to get into his bizarre nature that he is gay and is pro-life. It is so much simpler than that.
I am mortally offended that he can be so narrow minded and would rather not attend than be part of a celebration of one of his friends getting married.
Bad enough that I have to deal with people being stupid and thinking I am a Satanist when they find out I am pagan. Not to mention the other stupid conclusions some people blurt out when they find out I am gay… This is just chapping my ass at the moment. People can be so stupid.
While I agree that jumping to conclusions about someone because they’re gay or pagan is a bit silly, I’m a bit mystified by your assertion that being gay and pro-life is somehow a paradox.
Next thing you know, I’ll be told that I’m completely bizarre because I believe in the seperation of church and state and I’m over 5’6".
I don’t have a problem with anyone worshipping (or not) in whatever way they want. Please feel free to live your life the way you want, you in your way, and I in His.
With this guy, paradox is rampant. He has so many immense contradictions that I could not hope to list them all. I did write the initial post in a fit of pique. While not salient, it did come into my head, and thus onto the page.
I’m guessing your friend avoided telling you the reason he wasnt coming, so he wouldnt upset you…is that the case?
Are you angry that he didn’t tell you himself…or are you angry with him for holding an opinion (that you disagree with)? It doesnt appear he was being confrontational with his opinion…
It is a pagan wedding ceremony that binds the
two participating together. There is a lot
more to it, and there are at least two versions.
There is the Year and Day version. This one is
to make sure the couple should be together. After the Year and a Day version, the couple can be handfasted for life.
Permanent handfasting. Nuff said.
A high priest or priestess performs the ceremony and it has many similarities to a Xian wedding. Many differences as well. I’ll try to find a link if people wish to know more.
He used the pagan thing as his excuse. And he didn’t even tell me. He had a mutual friend tell me. He didn’t even have the balls to tell me via e-mail(there is a special RSVP e-mail address). The wedding is a week away and I found this out now. I’m offended on many levels.
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Well, for what it’s worth, I think he handled it poorly on more than one level, because I don’t think one’s religion or beliefs are normally an excuse for rudeness.
Some Christians do not consider paganism to be compatible with Christianity, and therefore are not comfortable attending pagan rituals. Some Christians consider marriage to be a sacrament and have problems with it being extended to homosexuals. Some people (Christian or not) do not consider “hand-fasting” or “commitment ceremonies” to be the equivalent of marriage, even if the participants do.
All of which is largely irrelevant. If a person is not comfortable attending your celebration, for whatever reason, that person should at least RSVP to let you know they will not be attending and to thank you for the invitation. An explanation that one is morally boycotting the event strikes me as unnecessary and hurtful – especially when conveyed by a third party. And I agree that being treated so by a “friend” might make me wonder why I bothered to be friends with him. People may not approve a my lifestyle or religion either, but I’m not obligated to hang around with people who don’t, or who make a show of judging me or my beliefs.
By the way, congratulations on your upcoming union.
From scanning around on the web a little bit, I’m under the impression that paganism is basically an eclectic mix of legend, ancient religions, and new wave spiritualism. There isn’t a “pagan” religion in the way that there is a Catholic Church or Presbyterians, but there are a lot of smaller groups that basically share the same beliefs within the larger group collectively termed “pagan”
Pretty much. This is all part of the neopagan movement, which includes Wicca, certain Earth religions, and neo-grecco-roman worship. There are a lot of similarities between most neopagan sects and Taoism. There is no one “Pagan church” or central authority; everry sect has its own cultrure, standards, etc. The movement is becoming popular among homosexuals, bisexuals, and other people who are not accepted by many other religions. Most sects allow men and woman to be priests. Some sects have people take turns to be priest. Some only allow women, etc.
Paganism is not Satanism, which is a Christian religion and has its roots in medieval Europe (where the contemporary version of Satan was invented.) You may notice some similarities in symbolism. Pagans like to use pentacles, circles, and deities (idols). The Satanists of Europe used the symbols from older shamanic and nature religions, which the Church had deemed Satanic. (In other words, they thought they were worshipping Satan, but they really weren’t. Hehehehheh.) The modern Satanist movement has been revived by Tim LeVay and is pretty passive.
Thanks for the info. I also read Cecil’s columns on Wicca/neopaganism.
Friedo’s post inspires another question. The neopagan use of iconography that some Christians think of as Satanic, was this choice made ironically, or is it mere coincidence?
My main problem with paganism is that it’s so hard to get a grasp on what it consists of! (Hugs to Sqrl for giving me the straight line for that in his detailed explanation of what it means for him, and why it means different things to other pagans.)
As a Christian, I have to second Jodi’s post virtually verbatim. A courteous “As a Christian, I feel uncomfortable attending a pagan ceremony, but thanks for inviting me, and I hope you understand” would have been in order (first person, not via a friend!).
And congratulations from me and the Skulldigger too!
As an athiest, I often find that I have to put up with Christian bullshit, and I tend to be quite civil about it even if it takes place at a secular event. I have been to weddings that featured painfully long eucharists. I have also been to one marginally heathenistic wedding. I didn’t stay away because I was not a believer. It was enough that I was asked to be there by people who understood that I was not a follower.
I love an argument about religion as much as anybody, but the wedding is off limits as a battleground. I don’t go there to represent my differences. I’m there to show my support for the union between two people.
The place for religious battles is around the table, or on porches, or sitting cross-legged in a circle around a bong, even. But when a couple makes a commitment to eachother, their friends pledge to support that commitment, and that’s why guests are invited to a wedding.
“And do as adversaries do in law,–
Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.”
(Hugs to Sqrl for giving me the straight line for that in his detailed explanation of what it means for him, and why it means different things to other pagans.)