Some 20,000 Canadians are Fucktwats

[Madawc]

[rant]

Who are these moronic fucktards stating their religion as “JEDI”?

An astonishing 20,000 Canadians declared themselves to be followers of the religion of Jedi, the guardians of peace and justice in the Star Wars flicks, Statistics Canada reported Tuesday in the latest, and final, data to come from the 2001 census.

Are they so pathetic that they think their love for Star Wars is going to force governments to make this franchise a religion?

Hey don’t get me wrong here. I find nothing wrong with having a hardcore love of movies, television shows, computer games and sports. I don’t mind those convention goers where they dress up and mingle with similar hardcore fans. But I draw the line when you’re fucking with relevant and needed data that the government is collecting.

I hope I’m not the only one who thinks this is the lamest “prank” to be pulled.

"We all get along very well … and it’s strange but we all watch Star Trek and Star Wars,’’ said Dion, who had thought only he and his free-thinking ski-patrol buddies would agree to poke fun at the census.

Poke fun at the census? God, get a fucking life. You want to poke fun at the census? Why don’t you fucking state that your name is Luke Skywalker, your occupation is retard, your gender is undetermined and that you also manufacture home-made lightsabres as a hobby. Fucktwats.

"My religion is my issue, not the government’s,’’ Dion said.

Then why don’t you state this in an option if you can. If you can’t then simply ignore the whole question. Are you fucking dim? Can you read? Or are you a denominational sect of the Illiterati?

When asked if he was a practising Jedi knight, Dion replied: "Well some people claim I am.’’

I guess it’s your religious fervor for all things Star Wars that made you do this fucktardish stunt.

What is your holy scriptures? The back of the mint-condition still-in-the-original-package action figure’s box?

Who is your God? Yoda?

What’s your denomination? The Dark Side?

When were you converted? The day you saw the first movie circa 1970’s?

Wait let me start a religion too. Why don’t we all join The Church of SpongeBob. No wait, what about we become Yankeeites and worship the New York Yankees. Hold on, I have a better idea. Let us all become Hulkamaniacs. The three commandments are to always be in training, always say your prayers, and always eat your vitamins.

Man these ignorant fucks need to be taught a lesson of ethics. Lying on a survey or census is pure bullshit. I don’t know the laws on giving falsified information so I can’t give a just penalty but I’m creative. We should round up these fuckwits, chain them up with their asses sticking up in the air. Confiscate their home-made lightsabres then impale their assholes. Then these fucktards can use their force to pull the buggers out of their sore anuses.

And finally, to all you Dopers that did this sort of shit. I hope you’re ashamed. We’re trying to fight ignorance, but by you blatantly fucking up a census you not only promote ignorance, you also flaunt your fucktardish ways.

[/rant]

[Antimanics]

As near as I can determine, the punishment for lying on the census is a $500 fine or three months in jail or both. (Cite) They may be covered by section 8 of the Statistics Act though (and section 22 suggests that they would be).

Of course, all of that misses the point of your rant. This “Jedi” stuff is getting old after Britain, Australia, and New Zealand. I don’t see a reason for it, but it seems some people do.

[Timban]

*Originally posted by Madawc *
**

Hey don’t get me wrong here. I find nothing wrong with having a hardcore love of movies, television shows, computer games and sports. I don’t mind those convention goers where they dress up and mingle with similar hardcore fans. But I draw the line when you’re fucking with relevant and needed data that the government is collecting.

**

Relevant and needed? Why, oh why, does the government need to know that I’m a Christian/Buddhist/Hindu, etc?
Sorry, but my government has no real right to know those things. I don’t have to tell them I have a religious affiliation, and I’m also free to tell them I’m a devout follower of George Fucking Carlin, if I’m so inclined. So bite it off already. Fucktwat.

[Princhester]

At least 20,000 Canadians have a sense of humour.

At least one person on these boards does not.

[c42]

I just see it as 20,000 people declaring that they don’t particularly take life seriously.

And if people want to declare themselves as “Jedi”, then so be it -it’s their right.

[Miller]

Jesus Christ, Madawc, calm the Hell down. Who gives a fuck what these people put on their census forms? In not saying the census isn’t important, but I don’t see how this is going to make any difference in anyone’s life, one way or the other. It doesn’t even invalidate the census results, since it provides some insight into the relative importance of religion versus pop culture in the lives of a certain segment of the population. It certainly doesn’t merit you frothing at the mouth like this. Get a grip, already.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go consign the word “fucktard” to the Crypt of the SDMB cliches. I thought it still had a few more months in it, but the OP just single-handedly drove a stake through its heart. Find some more creative insults next time you have a psychotic fit, okay?

[j.c]

I thought he said “fucktwat,” which isn’t nearly as fun or easy to say as fucktard. Fucktard is a classic!

Or, for my Canadian friends: A classic is Fucktard.

[donkeyoatey]

Did you already give up on the UK and Australia in your divine mission Madawc ? From your link :

In the U.K., for example, there are more Jedis than Jews. Nearly 400,000 people identified themselves as Jedi in the 2001 census. Only 260,000 said they were Jewish. The Jedis seemed to be concentrated in England and Wales.

Just last year, the Australian Bureau of Statistics reported that more than 70,000 people named Jedi as their faith.

From your post :

flaunt your fucktardish ways.

You seem to be high priest of the Church of Fucktard.

[jjimm]

Did someone get out of bed the wrong side this morning?

I hope I’m not the only one who thinks this is the lamest “prank” to be pulled.

I suspect you are. You should see how the Irish nation regularly confounds nearly every BBC survey going - totally hilarious.

Lighten up, you miserable old sod - it’s funny.

[SPOOFE]

Personally, I would’ve declared my religion as “Special Circumstances Agent”. They’re cooler.

[Mangetout]

Obligatory Snopes link to related topic.

[calm_kiwi]

I think you can pretty much bet on the fact that the Jedis were not going to effect the religion part of the census much. I’m just pissed off that they (it happened in NZ too) chose Star Wars as their vehicle of protest. No matter how much I feel the govt has no business knowing who I worship ( or don’t) could they not have picked a non sci-fi entity? Sci-fi offends me almost as much as the “name your religion” question.
Your’s sincerly from the cult of The crocodile Hunter (well he is equally as silly!)

[Shade]

(a) It’s a JOKE.

(b) It doesn’t have to become an ‘officially recognized religion’ for it to be funny that x 000 people did something.

© Here in the UK the religion Q was optional. I agree it’s stupid to put jedi if you’re legally obliged to list your religion.

© I kind of assumed that anyone who actually did have a religion would put that, but I’m athiest (or agnostic according to some definitions). Is athiest my religion? Is whatever moral and belief systems I hold instead of God? What about Buddhism; sometimes that’s more lke philosophy. I think Jedi is a good catch-all term for ‘religion? no thanks.’

[calm_kiwi]

I agree but I think, “I worship the crocodile hunter” sounds less possible and therefore more suitable (of course that is the kiwi in me talking, we KNOW that no aussie could be a god )

But I fully support to ridicule the religion question in the census. How exactly is the answer to that question supposed to help the govt?

[calm_kiwi]

I agree but I think, “I worship the crocodile hunter” sounds less possible and therefore more suitable (of course that is the kiwi in me talking, we KNOW that no aussie could be a god )

But I fully support the option to ridicule the religion question in the census. How exactly is the answer to that question supposed to help the govt?

[FranticMad]

Madawc, you’re right. The world is going to hell in a fuckbasket. Poking fun at the census, the census for the love of Obiwan, is fucknut anarchy.

I think we should put all these fuckwigs in a hydrogen blimp and float them to North Korea. Oh the humanity!

The immorality! The disaster that awaits us all if they survive! Government must know all. It’s not funny. It’s NOT funny or I’ll bite a rug!

[FranticMad]

Madawc, you’re right. The world is going to hell in a fuckbasket. Poking fun at the census, the census for the love of Obiwan, is fucknut anarchy.

I think we should put all these fuckwigs in a hydrogen blimp and float them to North Korea. Oh the humanity!

The immorality! The disaster that awaits us all if they survive! Government must know all. It’s not funny. It’s NOT funny or I’ll bite a rug!

[Beagle]

The Force is strong in you Madawc. Use the force.

[Beagle]

P.S. “fucktwats” are the best kind.

[FranticMad]

How many Jedis does it take to change a fucked-watt light bulb?