This may be neither here nor there, but regarding your husband’s clients who can’t/won’t pay him on time, perhaps he needs a “business manager” to do his billing for him. He may be too close to the client, or be a soft touch for a sad story. He should turn the billing over to someone else – perhaps even you – so that billing decisions/collections are not influenced by his emotions.
He needs to remember the attitude from the Godfather … It’s not personal, it’s business.
In the meantime, can you rent out a room short-term to a college student? Is there a college near you? We used to rent a room to a foreign grad student for extra cash, then again later to a nephew. Many homeowners do that without regard to zoning.
This is a horrible situation which I’ve seen first hand. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Would your husband listen to an accountant or a financial planner?
Where’s he at mentally regarding the house- does he understand you cannot continue to afford the house in the situation you’re in now?
Given everything, it looks like increased income isn’t too likely, and your own home is in a desireable, sellable location. I agree with others who recommend selling the house at an “as-is” price, and buying a newer & smaller house outright with the cash.
How would taking in a roommate affect zoning? Nobody needs to know who it is, it could be your cousin who needs a place to live.
I don’t know how old you are or where you live but are you eligible for any kind of property tax credits based on age or income?
When I lived in Baltimore I got my property taxes reduced based on my income. Also I had my house reassessed and got them lowered that way.
Depending on the area where you live you may also qualify for low interest loans from the city or county for repairs.
You’ve been paying taxes, so don’t feel guilty if you can take advantage of some government services.
You know the answer.
The house is too big and you can’t afford to keep it up without extreme difficulty. Day by day it’s crumbling around you.
You say that you are more realistic than your husband. Put it on the market today before the roof caves in.
I agree that selling is beneficial.
I can see a possible alternate way of approaching that, though. If the cost of needed repairs would be recoupable in the price when you sell it, then it might make sense to remortgage (including enough to pay the taxes for the time period)
Say the house is worth 450k repaired, but 350k as-is, and the repairs are 100k. And assume property taxes are $10k per year.
What if you get a mortgage for $120k, use $100k of that to fix it up, $20k to pay the property taxes until it sells (hopefully less than 2 years).
I don’t know how it usually works out re: costs to repair vs value if you sell it as-is or repaired, perhaps a real estate agent could advise you. Also if you or your husband is handy enough to do some of the work properly yourselves, then that might be beneficial too.
“Someone gave me a free house” seems like the kind of problem a lot of people would like to have.
Yeah, but a free house, especially a free expensive house, is not free if you want to keep it. kiz, just sell and go forward from there.
Only to people naive enough to think there’s any such thing as a “free” house. In my experience, houses eat money even faster than cars do.
OP, you’re not losing money if you sell the house now, since you got it for free. You WILL lose money if the house is allowed to deteriorate to the point of becoming a tear-down (and that can happen quickly if the roof is bad). If you can’t take in a border or find some other way of raising your income, sell the place while you still can.
Yea, but then you just sell it and pocket the cash. That’s not a problem, that’s free money.
The OP should just sell it and do whatever she and her husband would’ve done in 2007 if her mother just cut her a check for the value of the house (minus taxes and transaction costs).
Thanks, everybody 
My gut feeling is to sell while I still can. A side note: My neighbor-across-the-road’s son is facing the same scenario, except he doesn’t currently live in the house. My neighbor went into a NH a few months ago, and, like my scenario, she hasn’t had any work done on hers in years. Her son is petrified he’s going to lose money selling it, but, like me, he cannot afford to fix it up since his money is tied up in his own house.
Tripolar and Sam I Am, there is no way in hell I could ever afford to remortgage the house. If I’m already having trouble paying the property tax…yeah, no way.
sahirrnee – You have a point. My husband and have discussed off and on taking in a boarder, but he’s very much against it. He values his privacy. I’m not about to go behind his back and advertise for one unless he’s 100% on board. As for any kind of financial help – I looked at getting an financial need abatement last year and discovered I’m ineligible by a few hundred dollars. And no, I’ve got awhile before I’m old enough for the senior abatement.
Simplicio, Yes, I know I am incredibly lucky to have inherited a house, but what’s the point of it if I cannot afford it? If your scenario with my mother cutting a check had played out (which it wouldn’t have, knowing her), we would have been out of here ages ago.
artemis, so far things seem to be holding on. I’ve been told that although the roof is old, it’s in pretty good shape. There’s no danger of structural collapse. It’s the innards that need updating/replacing like the plumbing (part of which we had repaired last week when a pipe burst), the burner, the oil tank, the electrical. Usually what happens in my neck of the woods is that whoever buys ends up gutting the whole interior and rebuilding from there. I can see somebody doing that easily to my house.
That’s a very good idea.
Send him in here - we’ll have a go at straightening him out. 
That’s a very good idea, too. There are many repairs that can be done to a house for not much money that make a huge difference in how it shows.
As others have said, you need to sell and move into something you can afford overall. The taxes and upkeep are not just incidentals; as you’re seeing, they’re make or break even when you don’t have mortgage payments. Ideally, fix up what you can for as little money as possible (paint, change light fixtures, change water fixtures, tidy up any broken things), then sell.
I don’t understand. My point about cutting the check is just that that’s pretty much what she did. She gave you a free house that you can turn into money. Granted selling a house takes a lot more leg-work then depositing a check, but the end effect is the same. (IIRC, you can even take a capital gains loss since the assessed value sounds like its dropped since you inherited it (which seems a little squirrelly as a matter of public policy, but is good for you, anyways)).
I think you’d be a lot happier if you stopped thinking of it as “PITA house I can’t afford” and started thinking of it as “big bundle of money my mom gave me”.
I don’t see a house problem here, I see a husband problem.
Selling the house is a no-brainer. List it now, see a financial planner about how to use the money now, and make the changes that fit your budget. The budget is always king when it comes to housing and food.
The husband problem is harder, of course. He needs to get two PT jobs or push hard to get a full time job? What does he do? Maybe we can suggest ways to monetize his skills?
But talk to him and others about the possibility of depression or anxiety. And as his options narrow, make sure you keep yours open.
And I didn’t know what you meant by this until last night, and it dawned on me that you’re absolutely correct: I’m basically sitting on a big bundle of money in house form.
I have no emotional ties to this place, even though I grew up here. We moved here by default when my parents could no longer afford living in the city. Our neighbors back then were my mother’s neighbors in the old neighborhood, so it was like old home times for her here. Within a month of moving here I was begging my parents to please move back to the city because I didn’t understand suburban kids and the games they played, yadda yadda.
OTOH my husband thinks I’m crazy not to have feelings. But he’s much more sentimental than I am.
He’s an IT guy, and he’s done it all from project management to web design. No programming experience, however – it never interested him. He’s currently webmaster for a few local businesses as well as maintaining their social media presence. He was in business for awhile with an out-of-state partner,doing the same thing. and they were royally screwed by a couple of high-paying clients, one of whom declared bankruptcy. They’re slowly trying to make a go of it again right now, but so far no nibbles.
Schedule-wise, he and I are both at the mercy of what’s called “open availability” where you basically can’t tell your employer that you need to be off X day or you can only work between X and Y hour or else risk your job. We’ve recently had a swath of people quitting at my job because they can’t take on another PT job because their schedules change on a dime. So does my husband’s at his PT job. Heck, PT Job Owner has asked me to work for him PT, and I simply can’t.
As for the depression/anxiety…yep, I know there’s something there. He refuses to acknowledge it, however.
Just keep telling yourself that YOU own the house - the house doesn’t own you. You owe it nothing, and can dispose of it any time you like, for any reason whatsoever or no reason at all.
The house seems to be only your second-biggest problem.
Then you should sell quickly. You’ll just continue losing money otherwise. Sell it quickly, start over with something you can afford.
Other’s have provided good advice about increasing your income, but that’s not really a solution. It will take time to do that, and those aren’t sure things. Time and taxes are sure things you can’t escape from. Once you get yourself into an affordable situation you can get that extra income and consider it gravy.
I’m another vote for selling now. And I’ll chime in on using some of the overage after you buy a smaller/cheaper house to get some retraining for your hubby to make him more marketable and employable.
Get thee to a realtor. If nothing more, get the appraisal so you have some concrete numbers to work with.