I need to submit a writing sample – anyone mind if I take inspiration or maybe a detail or two from this thread?
I sympathize with you, phouka. I remember once I was walking from the train station, and about a block from home, I passed someone who was holding a little bouquet of bright yellow mums. I smiled and nodded, she did the same, and it never occurred to me that the flowers looked suspiciously like the ones from the mum plant in my front yard. I got home, and there was my beautiful mum, with a big hole in the middle where the flowers were cut out. She didn’t even take it from the side. Arrrgh.
And, we had a little apple tree in our front yard, which we ended up moving to the back because the apples kept disappearing. Double arrrgh.
If you live south of us, you should be able to grow them year-round. I had a family friend when I was little that grew moon and stars watermelons in their backyard in Broward County.
I’m sorry someone stole your watermelons, Phouka; I hope that whoever did it won’t repeat this, no matter what you end up doing with the new watermelons.
Fine by me. Go to town.
Thanks. If I get the gig, next year’s membership is on me. Note the fairly safe assumption that they’ll still not have the new setup by then. Also note that this is such a long shot that I could promise just about anything.
That’s what you get for having plastic surgery done in South America!
(sorry about your plants)
That was an oustanding rant. It was funny and real without being gratuitously nasty and obscene.
I’m sorry about your watermelons. I hope you can hang on to the others.
I stole a pumpkin from a nearby field when I was a kid. Statute of limitations is long run out on that one, but the guilt remains.
If you can’t get inspiration from the watermelon thieving or the salt vs no salt debate, I love the concept of the eternal noogie as Unitarian Universalist hell. 