“You’re so beautiful, bubbie. Are you Jewish? Will you touch my lulav and etrog?”
“Hey babe! Hubba hubba!”
“Mind your own business!”
I find this an odd definition of “minding ones own business”, and I was disappointed by how the initial hypothesis of this being related to Jesus Christ was not touched upon again in the main body of the paper.
Yeah. The first sentence referenced Jesus, the penultimate sentence charity, and everything in between was apparently based on the OP’s overwhelming personal attractiveness.
Yes, you’re the one in a million. :dubious:
Get over yourself, you insuferable ****.
Ah, the stupid mental girl posts again.
She’s the one who complained here about unintelligent black men constantly speaking there [sic] deepest thoughts on her level of beauty.
We need a better rolleyes emoticon.
A real fille intellectuelle would have learned to compose paragraphs by now.
I’m mystified where this is coming from. The OP didn’t mention anything about online stalkers, not did she mention politics. So why the reference to the Koch brothers?
Mind my own business, Ma’am? You may want to think that over again in case you might have a flat tire, and don’t know what to do about it, or your cell phone’s battery has unexpectedly gone dead, and you can’t get it recharged where you are, or your purse has been stolen…then you may wish someone else minded your business, however you look.
Wow, this post is even stupider than the OP.
Look, there’s a difference between someone in the situations you describe asking for help, and you going up to random people and saying, “Ma’am? It looks like you’ve lost your purse. How can I help?” Think about it, if possible.
I’m thinking the “intellect” part isn’t so strong with this one. Would you draw the below conclusion?
Yup. I’ve gotten the message through to this weirdo soooooo much that he… asked for my number! Woohoo! I’m such a badass at fending off unwanted advances. Go me!
It’s a good thing you’re not Nice Guys or you’d never get laid. 
And the thread is won.
What’s so stupid about that? I listed random examples in which even an “independent” person would need–and most likely appreciate–someone else’s help.
Right. People are hitting on the OP and asking for her phone number because they’re trying to be “helpful.” Gotcha.
Dougie, are you an extraterrestrial?
I dunno, if this initial interaction were happening in a rom-com, we’d call it “meeting cute.” Could be fun to see where this leads us. 
I’m not sure what you’re getting at; near as I can figure, you mean that if I see someone obviously in need of help, I should continue on my way and not give a damn.
I expect you to explain yourself when you say "extraterrestrial. "
I think they were hoping you could translate the OP into Earth-speak.
Regards,
Shodan
Oh, I get it. Heh, heh. 
Or perhaps they think you can explain the experience of being irresistibly attractive. They certainly can’t learn anything about it from me.
Regards,
Shodan
It’s that sometimes you seem incapable of grasping hew-mon interaction. It’s like Quark from Deep Space Nine pondering why hew-mons seem to be so fond of root beer.
Oh Lord NO! This narcissistic bitch really needs to get over her so fine self. My God, the stupid runs deep in this one. Please, I beg of you, do not encourage it.