Friend of mine told me that someday he was going to have a T-shirt made with “I Am Not Your Friend” written on it in large letters. He enjoyed comic shops, but was VERY tired of having total strangers walk up to him and try to start conversations as if they were old chums, just because the two of them had one thing in common.
In the time I’ve spent here at the SDMB, it occurs to me that a LOT of BBQ Pit threads could have this title… so many of them seem to have the common theme of “there is a jerk where I work/live/have lunch/entertain myself who thinks I am his friend and wants to TALK to me…”
Do you have someone like this in your life? I’m curious.
Yeah, there’s this total asshole that just keeps saying shit to me. It’s like every time his mouth opens, it’s some moronic comment directed at me for no reason at all. This guy totally lacks more than one brain cell to rub together… I can practically hear the sonic booms of his IQ dropping.
And when I go to comic shops, weird geeky people don’t walk up to ME and begin ranting at me about Green Lantern or whatever. But it happens to him. I’ve seen it happen. It’s creepy, really…
People like that need to be strangled… There is a guy that works at a burger joint near here (Not one of the big chains… A little local place) who insists on talking to me while I am trying to eat. He falls into the “We have one thing in common, therefore we must be friends” category. (We are both owners of small businesses) I’ve tried bringing work along to keep me occupied, but he just plops down in the chair on the other side of the table and starts chatting away. It drives me up the wall. I like the food there, and I really do prefer to spend my money at locally owned businesses, but this guy is very effectively keeping me out of his store. I need one of those shirts myself.
Well, the first thing he does is look seductively in her eyes. Once she is stunned by the fiery passion shown therein, he edges his head closer, slightly licking his lips in anticipation of the sweet, sweet lip gloss he’s about to taste.
…and then they kiss! Tongues darting back and forth in some oral game of tag (where there is no “Ollie, ollie, oxen free,” just perpetual, silent cries of “You’re it!”), lips smacking in a count of 2 and 4 (if they’re White, they’re smacking in a count of 1 and 3 ;)), one of his hands running through her hair (the other trying to undo her bra), and…
How truly fucking sad that we can’t be bothered by strangers who strike up conversations because they notice that someone has a common interest.
Wang-Ka, how does your friend with the T-shirt make friends of his own? I know that when I introduce myself to someone, I look for any external indications that we might have something in common. Years ago when I was attending college, I approached someone and introduced myself simply because the guy was wearing a Van Halen T-shirt. I happen to be a Van Halen fan myself. The guy ended up becoming one of my closest friends throughout school.
IMHO, people should feel flattered when strangers come up to them and strike up conversations. It’s a compliment, not an insult. If your friend is so offended by friendly people in comic shops, maybe he should order his comics through the mail.
On second thought, I’ve been known to drop into Forbidden Planet every so often and pick up a copy of the latest X-Men book. Maybe Giraffe is right - your friend should get this shirt made up, so I will know to steer clear of this fucknut.
It doesn’t happen often, but, when someone I don’t know tries to start a conversation with me, I try at least to be polite. It doesn’t hurt, and it might lead to a new friendship. What’s wrong with that?
And what, Wang-Ka, does your friend propose to do, the first time some total stranger comes up to him and says “Hey, cool T-shirt, dude. Guess what, I’m a misanthrope too - want to talk about it?”
I was ready to pass on responding to this post, but it just kept nagging in the back of my mind until I had to put my 2 cents worth in.
I was born & raised in a kinder, gentler time of life; a time when you nodded & smiled as you passed strangers on the street or in the market, when people thanked you for stopping by and meant it, and where the generic, plastic “Have a nice day” wasn’t so commonplace. And, yes, I did grow up in a big city, not some small town, so this wasn’t just a “small town mentality” phenomenom. So, I think to myself, what’s the big deal if someone makes a small comment or strikes up a conversation based on the perception that we share a common interest?
Are you really so important, and your time so precious & valuable, that you can’t take a few seconds to be polite? To pass a little kindness on to someone who might, for all you know, desperately need a little kindness? Think how much better you’ll feel about yourself when you realize that your tiny bit of attention might be all that a lost soul needed to be validated, to feel worthy, or to be recognized as a human being? Too frequently, we hear about someone who committed suicide because they felt that nobody cared if they lived or died, or that they just weren’t worthy of existence - what if just a simple “mmm-hmmm” to a comment they made was all it took to save their life?
I find it difficult to be “friends” with someone who feels they’re so much more important and above the other bi-peds they share the comic store with. These are the people to shun, not those who are simply being friendly/kind, or making small talk. Get over yourself - you ain’t that great to begin with.
I remember when I was in high school, wearing a Ramones T-shirt that I’d gotten at a concert. First day in English class my sophomore year, this guy asks me “Do you really like the Ramones, or are you just trying to be an asshole?” So I punched him.
I think the OP is not talking about people who strike up friendly, passing conversations for five minutes or so. (If this IS the case, I agree - lighten up, fergossakes.)
I think it’s more people who think, “That guy likes Green Lantern and so do I! We must have lots in common! I should go tell him my life story, because I am certain he would want to know. I should get his home phone number and then call him every couple days and talk to him. I should see where else he hangs out, so I can meet him there and alleviate his loneliness!”
I made the mistake of striking up a friendly conversation with a bagger at my local grocery store. It was honestly along the lines of “hot enough for ya?” and apparently this was all the opening he needed. This was over a year ago and every time I go into the store now, he approaches me. “What are you up to? No good as usual I bet! HAHAHAHA! I saw you at the Summer Fest concert the other night. Wow, you were drinking a lot!* Do you like that band? I always thought they were really good. Stay out of trouble now!”
I hate to hurt his feelings, but MAN! I came in for a gallon of milk, you know? It’s getting to the point where I want to stop shopping there.
Hihorse, saying how do you do is not the same thing as having a complete stranger walk up to you in the middle of a meal that you are trying to enjoy, seeing that the company name on your shirt has to do with computers, and having to tolerate her standing over your table putting up with her telling you she needs you to make a website geared towards offering the return of a dog someone stole from her car. Is it? Now, while I wanted most desperately to say “Go away, you ignorant old hag! They stole your dog! A website is not going to cause them to sprout a conscience, nor is it getting the nicotine stench of every article of clothes on your body out of my face allowing me to keep some portion of this Wendy’s Classic Single in my stomach where I paid to put it! Being in the computer field does not give you the right to harrass me!” Yes the above scenario did take place. No, I was not rude to her. But DAMN people! Have some courtesy!
Hmmmm. I’m one of those people that others seem to want to approach. Usually, I love it (maybe that’s the reason.) I can’t recall a friend that I’ve made that way but I’ve had numerous interesting and funny conversations. I also don’t have a problem saying, “Sorry, I’m kind of busy right now.”
It seems that many of the people who have been posting on this thread are not nut magnets. Those of us who are, understand why that shirt would be great. To repeat, it is not about an ordinary, interesting person saying a few pleasant conversational words. It is about huge psychos picking you out of the whole world to harass. Often, too, these kind folks, within a few seconds of drawing you into a conversation you didn’t want in the first place, take offence at something you said, and start to abuse you.
God, I don’t know why you put this sign on me, visible only to crazy people, that says “I want to talk”, but could you please replace it with one that is visible only to horny redheads.
My apologies Sejal_Traurig , I didn’t mean to infer that an in-your-face confrontation was to be accepted. I was refering to the more innocuous “Hey, I really like Green Lantern, too.” comments. And, you are correct. I don’t particularly enjoy being accosted while having lunch/dinner or shopping, just because I’m wearing a shirt with my company logo on it. But I have been able to escape confrontation with a little courtesy. Sometimes a polite but cool response will leave the “botherer” with the impression that you’re stuck up, but they usually take the hint. There are, of course, those that never seem to get it and will continue to drive you to distraction with their unwanted attentions. Again, there are polite ways of dealing with these people without resorting to an I’m Not Your Friend t-shirt.
I’ve noticed that behaviour like that bothers me and I always wondered why. Recently, I came to the conclusion that in the instances where people randomly talk to me and it bothers me, they never introduce themselves.
I don’t know why, but that one thing seems so important. Meet someone, start a conversation, and shortly thereafter introduce yourself. I think the part that irritates me is that people will start talking to me in a familiar way when I really don’t know them AND they make no effort to start a friendship or even an aquaintance. It’s like they presume a familiarity with me that isn’t there.
Kind of like when someone intrudes on your personal space. Maybe if you knew them well it wouldn’t bother you at all because you’d be comfortable around them, but since you don’t know them it’s a bother.
