Either you had really hellacious morning sickness or that wasn’t the worst part of the trip. That’s a heck of a conversational landmine. Beats my all-time conversation-stopper.
But I’m glad you and KellyM and Vernon and (presumably) Loren are happy with everything, and your still on speaking terms with your parents.
Already in Use, there are surgical options that can change the voice, but they’re infrequently used because they don’t work all that well and have a substantial risk of complications (including permanently making you sound like Minnie Mouse). Most MtFs change their voice, if at all, through voice training rather than through surgery.
FtMs develop a deeper voice through the action of testosterone supplementation; no surgery is needed.
My family was actually suprisingly supportive. I think though that is more because they think that I am smarter than them and don’t mind coming to me for advice.
If you have dark hair and light skin laser is very effective. They can still be effective with dark skin.
It is painful and costs 200 dollars a session. In my own case I have been to about 6 and that has gotten rid of most of my hair, but I had very little hair to begin with.
liirogue, try The Dope and the Dead for a link.
Kelly’s voice was fine for a woman before surgery or hormones (not that hormones would affect it). She doesn’t force her voice to be high and breathy in an attempt to sound like a woman, like some I have heard, her voice just sounds like it should. Mind you, it is a bit lower than the average woman’s voice, but not much so. Probably not as low, or at least no lower than, the actress who played Galadriel in the LotR movies.
Broomstick, I explosively vomited at the DeKalb oasis, just inside the restroom, on the outside of the stall, and in the stall. When I thought I was finished, I went to another stall to pee, and after peeing, lost the final bit of my stomach contents. I had no warning that I was about to vomit before entering the building; I was headed for the restroom because I had to pee. In the restroom, I overheard women talking about how disgusting I was, speculating on my bulimia, some on that I was fat for a bulimic so I should stick with it and lose weight, and one complaining about my self control. Then there were the poor women who were just commenting on the mess. I felt badly about making the mess, but I had tried my best to make it to the toilet. Then I found out that my husband had only packed the clothes for the next day, no extra outfits, and he couldn’t even find me that one. I was stuck in a pukey shirt all the way to mom’s.
My parents, OTOH, did not explode. They listened. My dad shares my motto, “Don’t ask the question, if you don’t want to know the answer,” so he did not ask the questions that a father really should not. My mother did look like she was going to lose her teeth when I said that Kelly and I were both going to breatfeed (too bad that did not work out). Mom remarked that it was a lot to take in all at once.
Note that most places charge for laser by the “pulse” (more or less) and that each pulse covers a fixed, small area of skin. If you have a large, sparsely populated region of hair, it’ll cost more to clear with laser than with electro. Because of this, laser is not a good option for clearing large expanses of skin. While men do sometimes have backs or bellies done, the cost is quite high (into the thousands of dollars).
“Mom remarked that it was a lot to take in all at once.”
Your mother, like mine, should be called The Queen of the Understatement.
For FtM - do you get to pick the size of the equipment. I’m just envisioning this conversation in the doc’s office - “No, doctor, I want a big one - a great big one <looks at pictures of recent work> - c’mon, doc, - can’t you do better than that - what’ve you got in, say, an extra large?”
I’d still be on hormones, but i doubt I’d bother with any of the surgery.
For an FTM, it depends on which procedure you have. If you’re talking lower surgery (as I assume you are, not chest reconstruction), there are two main procedures- metoidioplasty and phalloplasty.
Metoidioplasty is where they use your clitoris, which grows a lot bigger under the effect of testosterone supplementation, as a microphallus. They release the attatchments at the pubic bone so that it has more usable length and hangs down a bit more (ie looks bigger on the surface/less under the surface). This can be combined with urethral lenthening (to do that they remove the vagina and use some of that tissue to extend the urethra to the end of the micropenis so you can stand up to piss if you want to). Advantages- you still have sexual function (ie you can have orgasms). Disadvantages - penis is very small (2 inches is considered a good result) so you can’t actually use it for anything except pissing and blow jobs. Also, like any urethra-creating surgery, it’s easy for it to break down and start leaking at the join :eek:
Phalloplasty is where they create a neophallus out of body tissue (usually from your arm or leg) and graft it on to where a penis would be. They have to take your clit off, so you have no sexual function at all (can’t orgasm) and while your neophallus might have sensation (you can tell if someone pokes it) it’s not sexual, and it can’t get an erection or anything (so, no use for sex unless you get a rod you can use to make it stiff implanted). This surgery is difficult, very expensive, and often doesn’t succeed. The urethral join often leaks at the base, you can’t have sex, and sometimes the whole thing falls off because of a blood clot or something. On the other hand, it actually looks like a for-real flaccid penis. And you can stand up to pee.
With either of these procedures, they can put in testicular implants into the labia and create a scrotum for you if you want.
So, I guess the answer is that FTMs have it worse, because from what I’ve read the chances of an MTF having sexual function are pretty good and urinary function excellent, where as FTMs have zero chance of sexual function with one procedure (and reasonable with the other) and also a high risk of having urinary “leaks”.
If you’re interested, plenty of pages explaining in further detail can be found if you google “phalloplasty FTM” or “metoidioplasty”
No. For metoidioplasty, it’s your body that grows your clit with the help of testosterone… the doctor just makes what’s there already more obvious. For phalloplasty, you can choose within reason, but there is a maximum size of graft that’s sustainable on the blood supply they use, so you couldn’t really insist on a ten-inch dick. Not to mention, they have to get that tissue from somewhere, so the size of dick you have, you have an equally large scar somewhere on your leg or arm.
I haven’t seen this link posted yet (apologies if I overlooked it), so here you go: All About Eve, where Eve first spoke openly on the board about this.
I have been trying to find the picture of Eve, Miss Creant, and Persephone (IIRC) all having tea together, but can’t seem to find it. I thought that was a lovely picture.
Dammit. All About Eve
note to lee and Kelly - your Loren looks as bright as a star!
Also, something I was thinking about re men’s and women’s voices. The difference in pitch between an average man’s voice and an average woman’s voice isn’t huge. The big difference is in tone and resonance, which is why voice exercises are all that’s needed.
Are there ongoing “maintenance” issues that have to be addressed? For instance, since a FtM has no testes, does he have to take testosterone for the rest of his life to maintain the maleness of his features? The same question would apply to MtF and lack of natural estrogen or progesterone production. What’s the owner’s manual say about routine maintenance?
plnnr, I have to take estrogen supplements of one sort or another for the rest of my life. This can get problematic because oral estrogens are hard on the liver, and it’s hard to get enough transdermally, so a lot of MtFs end up with injectables at some point. (I’m on a mix of oral and transdermal for now.) Annual bloodwork to check for liver damage and for hyperprolactinemia.
There is no such thing as oral testosterone (much harder on the liver) so all FtMs (AFAIK) use injectables, with frequencies usually ranging from once every other week to twice a week.
New question, not so technical this time: For KellyM and Eve, how did you choose your female names? (And for phraser, do you currently go by a male name, and if so, how did you choose it?)
Already in Use, I originally intended to change my name before transitioning (at the time, I was very peeved with my family and wanted to change my name just to break off that association), to something I could use both before and after transition. (In retrospect, this is a dumb idea. I was younger then.) So I wanted an ambisexual name. On top of that, there was someone who I admired as a child whose name was Kelly (no, I won’t tell you who). And, as it happens for people my age, Kelly is almost exactly 50-50 male-female split. So that’s how I ended up with Kelly.
It’s almost certainly not the name I would have chosen if I were to have waited until I actually began my transition. But it had been my selfname for almost a decade at that point and I could not have possibly changed it.
My mother and I chose it.
With regards testosterone - most people start on injectable testosterone (250mg fortnightly is the average starting point) but some people take more and some less. There are also patches available (not popular with many as they tend to fall off), implants that last three months (popular because of less injections and less hassle, but more expensive), testosterone creams and gels (gotta be careful they don’t rub off on anything/one).
There is in fact oral testosterone (Andriol capsules), but it’s not available everywhere. It puts a lot of stress on the liver so you have to get function tests done monthly and be pretty healthy.
You do have to take testosterone for the rest of your life to keep some effects, however it’s not that cut and dried. Basically, once your voice breaks, it’s not going to go back up if you stop testosterone. Ditto body and facial hair - it might get less coarse, but it won’t go away once it’s there. However, things like body shape, muscle mass, skin tone, etc, are dependent on a constant supply of testosterone. Also if you’ve been on it for long it makes your ovaries shrivel up and die, so you don’t have any endogenous hormone production left if you stop the injections (that’s if you haven’t had them removed…) so you end up feeling really really bad (and ironically may have to take oestrogen supplements).
People often forget that everyone (women included) produces some testosterone from their adrenal gland.
I go by an ambisexual name too, like KellyM. I actually changed it ages and ages ago (two or three years now), long before I had even thought to go on hormones. I purposely wanted something that wasn’t gender specific at the time, and (embarrassed grin) numerology helped me pick… i wanted a name that was numerologically equivalent to my previous name (which was an 11 name, for those who know/care). I basically tried a lot of different things out and picked the one which sounded best and fitted me best, which was Jaimie. I also like the fact that it means ‘I love’ or something like that in french. These days, however, most shorten it to James.
Huh. Well, not to beat a dead horse, but…
I’ve never met you in person Eve, but from your pics you always remind me of my mom in her younger days. Granted, she’s my mom so I may be biased, but I think she was quite pretty. 
(Well, she still is pretty, but in a grandmotherly way now.)
Well, dearie, maybe I can be your Auntie Mame.
That would be swell. My real Auntie Mame is kind of a crank…
