A coworker, somebody I know well enough to have met for lunch but not somebody who’s, say, been over to my house. She called my desk at work and told me that since September 1 she’s been held against her will in a psychiatric facility in another state, that her husband put her there, that she hasn’t seen any paperwork or been allowed to speak to anyone in charge, that she keeps trying to call 911 and they shut down the phone, and that she’s pregnant. She wants me to call the cops, blast it out on Facebook, tell everybody.
It shook me up quite a bit, honestly.
So I told my supervisor, obviously, since it came in at work. I’ll tell the security manager when I can track him down today.
But what do I DO about it? I mean, on the one hand, isn’t that exactly what a crazy person would say? If I put it all over Facebook she might regret it later on. But if I don’t do it…?
I figure a reasonable step is to call that state’s social services department, talk to their adult abuse hotline or whatever. Can’t hurt to call this state’s number too. Maybe the town police department, just to make sure somebody checks into it?
But should I publicize it? She did ASK me to. Beg me, really. But is that the right thing to do?
Is anybody else at work closer to her that you might find out more about her husband, for instance if she had related any weird stories before, if he was abusive in any way, if they were having problems?
Next - is there any way you could get a hold of her parents or siblings? I would think that they would stand a better chance of getting any information from whichever services you were planning to call.
Did she mention the name of the institution where she’s being held?
I wonder if, rather than ‘blasting it our on Facebook’, you could do a post on her wall stating ‘Coworkername wants to get in touch with her friends urgently, please contact me for more details’? Then you could get in touch with people more privately?
She did tell me the name of the institution, and there definitely is a psychiatric hospital with that name in that town. Our head of security is talking to the Personnel Department to see if they know anything.
I don’t really know her well at all - I can find her husband, I know where he works and it’s an unusual last name, but I don’t know anything about her family. I definitely don’t want to put it out there, since it’s not like you can take it back in the future if it turns out to be, you know, what it sort of probably is.
I do know she’s had a lot of health issues lately - she’s gone through surgery, chemo, and then radiation for breast cancer. And she’s under a ton of stress at work. A TON. It’s a shockingly dysfunctional department.
I would NOT post this on Facebook or publicize it in any way. This could come back to bite you both and might do more harm than good. I think you did the right thing in notifying your supervisor and security officer. It may also be a good idea to get in touch with her parents or siblings if you know them. They could talk to her husband and find out what is going on. If they don’t wish to tell you what happened, however, they do have a right to their privacy. There may not be much else you could do for her, as there may be HIPAA concerns involved. It’s good of you to want to help her, but if she’s not a close friend, you might be limited in what you can do for her.
Oh, an update - Security spoke to Personnel and said he couldn’t say anything except that she’s on “approved leave”, but when I asked if maybe I should call the husband he “suggested that I not”, meaning that they told him more than he told me.
I don’t feel comfortable leaving it at that, though. I’m going to call the state social services people.
I just don’t know if I can look her in the eye when she comes back and be all “yeah, all those promises I made to you on the phone, I totally had no intention of keeping them. I mean, come on.”
Good for you for seeing this through until you feel safisfied she’s safe. Having worked in several psych facilities, I would be surprised if this turns out to be anything other than her being unbalanced and lacking insight. I saw a lot of ‘crazy’ patients make these phone calls, and as staff all I could do was reassure the families later (when confidentialy laws would let me).
Edited to add: She may well be being held against her will (on a legal hold for psychiatric evaluation). That doesn’t mean she’s being abused.
Well, the most likely scenario is she’s having some sort of episode, and won’t be back to work until she has herself back under control. In which case, I imagine her saner self will be glad you didn’t post a bunch of her ravings on Facebook.
It’s pretty hard to get someone institutionalized against their will, so if that’s what happened, it’s almost certainly because she needs it for her own safety. And the fact that she called a vague acquaintance probably means all the people who know her well enough to actually be familiar with her case have already told her they think she needs to be there.
But you never know, and it almost certainly won’t do any harm to call social services and have them look into it.
Yes of course. There is a 99.9% chance that she belongs in the institution.
Why do you think she called you and not a blood relative or close friend? Most likely it’s because all of those people know perfectly well that she is completely crazy and needs to be institutionalized.
I agree with the others that you should not publicize it – it’s usually a bad idea to enmesh yourself with a crazy person. For example, what happens if a few weeks from now she is released and regrets the fact that word is out that she was in a mental hospital for a while? She may very well deny having urged you to publicize her situation and complain to the boss about you and threaten some kind of lawsuit, resulting in you being unfairly disciplined.
I kinda doubt a husband can have his wife locked up in a psych ward out of state and have her held against her will. If this is doable, I’m sure there are a lot of husbands who would like to hear more.
At least in California, there is a person assigned to each mental hospital whose job it is to ensure that any holds are legal. Your acquaintance should have been given their phone number. If she contacted that person, they would assist her with her legal rights, including the right to see a judge who is empowered to order her release.
It’s not like in the old days, where you could practically drop off a family member and sign them in.
You are still absolutely right to attempt to assist your acquaintance. It’s possible that through fraud, accident, or incompetence she has not received her rights. Plastering it all over FB, telling everyone, etc won’t do her a bit of good, whether she is being held legally or held illegally, so I wouldn’t suggest that.
I suggest you get ahold of that person I mentioned above. You can call the hospital and they should give you the number. The title of the person may vary depending on the state or institution, but they may be called something like a patient ombudsman. You can give that number to you acquaintance (who should have been given it immediately upon entering, and it should even be posted next to her telephone.) And/or you can call it yourself.
That’s pretty much all you can do.
Oh…write her a card. You don’t have to say much, just a thinking of you from hallmark will mean the world to her.
I work for an agency that assists the community and I’ve received several calls like these. It was absolutely heartbreaking to receive these calls. The demeanor of the callers made them sound like they were in the safest place for them, but their misery and frustration were heartwrenching.
You are doing the right thing. And you are doing a good job. There’s not much you can do regardless of whether it’s a legal hold, but you are doing the right thing.
Her husband called me - I suspect Personnel called him, since he asked for me by name. He said they don’t know how she got a call out, she’s in a safe place, near family, etc.
<Lifetime Movie of the Week> Which is exactly what you’d expect him to say! </Lifetime Movie of the Week>
I just won’t feel totally comfortable until I’ve had somebody look into it just on the vanishingly rare chance that this is, in fact, an episode of Dark Shadows. I’ve tried a bunch of phone numbers that totally don’t work for the state’s social services department - Lilies, I didn’t know that and will try calling the institution and asking for that person.
I don’t know what the timefame is here, but the mention of suicide combined with other symptoms can get you forcibly admitted to the hospital for your own safety. That sort of admittance doesn’t last long though, as a rule, 48 hrs max I think? Long enough anyway for evaluation and to let any drugs clear the system.
