Somebody stole a bridge

Not even bridges are safe from sticky fingers

Maybe somebody realized they burned a bridge they shouldn’t have and now need to replace it.

Maybe they should check on the whereabouts of this guy:

I have a sturdy, iron-clad alibi.

I’d be looking for someone local who owns a large property with a long driveway that crosses a stream.

Presumably somebody sold it to the person who took it.

Do you think there was water under the bridge?

Reading the story, they only stole the “treated deck boards” - and that after clearing brush from around the bridge. Otherwise it would lead to a revival of all those jokes: “Pssst, wanna buy a bridge?”

I wonder if the reporter realized the double-meaning: “It criminals more than a day to pull it off.”

Many years ago a friend of mine stole a church, sort of. He knew of an old church slated for demolition and stopped to look it over. He was in the process of building his home and was always on the lookout for interesting stuff.

Well, the wooden floors in the church were beautiful. He looked up the name of the responsible party and met with him, checkbook in hand, to buy the wood.

For reasons the church didn’t want to sell, but the guy my friend spoke with kept dropping hints that if the wood disappeared, nobody would mind.

One night he and a crew stopped by with lanterns and pulled up the floor board by board. His home is beautiful and the floor is a cool story.

Statistically, the thief is likely to be a Span-ish speaker.

Now that’s a bridge too f…
n/m

First country song written about the crime:

If She’s So Bad For Me, Then Why Cantilever

The stole the deck boards Nov. 3, and then a week later they stole the rest:

On Nov. 11, the entire metal frame, 58 feet long, 10 feet wide with 6 foot sides, was gone.

My bet is they stole the frame to sell as scrap metal. I don’t know if the boards have any value, or if they just had to remove them to get the metal part.

I’m just trying to find the bridge
Has anybody seen the bridge?
Please
Have you seen the bridge?
I ain’t seen the bridge
Where’s that confounded bridge?

Maybe they thought it was actually a Witch.

They found it:

Ohio Man has a long way to go to match Florida Man, but this is a start.

That is BAD !! *

*ie, good.

Now the police are investigating the theft of several staircases.

Steps have been taken.