What grinds me about McCarver is that he thinks he’s a mind reader. Catcher goes to the mound and talks to the pitcher. Both are talking through their gloves so we can’t read their lips. Yet the Almighty Tim can tell us exactly what they’re saying.
And football announcers- don’t tell us how bright a fellow the punt returner is for stepping out of bounds late in the game to “stop the clock”. The clock stops anyway on change of possession!
More football announcers- If it’s 2nd and 4 and the runner gains 9 yards, DON’T tell us “he’s close to the first down.”
For the first time in my career on the SDMB, I’m experiencing vapor lock. I’ve got so many things I want to type, I can’t get any of them on the screen.
I saw a fantastic example of idiotic commentary yesterday during an NFL game. (Coulda been the Falcons/Lions, or maybe Colts/Raiders. I don’t remember.) Anyway, the color analyst was describing a sweep that was defended well: “You know how the fans will hold up those ‘defense’ signs? A capital letter D, and then a picket fence? Well, that’s what you had on this play.” (Slow-motion replay starts.) “Watch how the defense flows to this run. Boom. Boom. Boom. See, here you have the ‘D’ (uses telestrator to highlight one guy) and coming up here you have the ‘fence’ (uses telestrator to draw four vertical slashes on the screen – l l l l – to show the other defenders coming up to string out the run). That’s defense right there.”
Being in Alabama, we get regional college football coverage by Jefferson-Pilot Sports. They, in their infinite wisdom, have hired Dave Rowe as their color commentator. Some wonderful Roweisms:
“The cornerback is on an oasis out there.”
“This guy was their fourth-string quarterback at the beginning of the year. Now he’s the third-string quarterback.” (The team in question only has 3 qbs.)
“Big man on big man!” (Said whenever the offense needs a short gain to get the first down or a touchdown.)
And, my personal pet peeve, said by almost every announcer: The offense for any given team does not need to get “untracked.” They need to get “on track.” Please make a note of this.
It was Dick Stockton. I laughed when he said that.
At the risk of opening a can of worms, I’d like to take a swipe at sideline reporting. If it wasn’t bad enough to see Tony Siragusa shaking his ass in an attempt to dance, (My Eyes! It Burns!!!), later in the post-game interview with Tiki Barber he commented that Tiki hasn’t fumbled, and as Tiki started to respond, that fat fuck cut him off.
Can we please please pretty please go back to having hot women who know nothing about sports being the sideline reporter? Ex-players are NOT good interviewers.
Which wouldn’t normally have gotten him all the way to East Rutherford, but fortunately he had recently taken lessons from Michael Irvin, which gave him an additional 1000 miles of distance.
“X hasn’t happened since Y did it” is a stat announcers use way too much. I think that’s what’s bugging him. And it’s true. Here’s a good example from tonight’s game: 1-3 Tennessee plays 1-3 Green Bay. The loser will be 1-4, and the announcers astound us by noting that no team that started the year 1-3 has made the playoffs since… 2002. Which only means “nobody did it LAST YEAR.” When something last happened only two years ago, it’s not noteworthy, so they should keep their mouths shut instead of giving me useless information. It’s one thing if something hasn’t happened in ten years. If you’re going to try and tell me something is rare, don’t tell me it happened two years ago. It’s just dumb.
True story. The last time my friend and I visited Boston, we were at our usual place at the oyster bar at the Union Oyster House. Sitting next to us was Tim McCarver and his wife. After talking to them for a while, the wife asked my friend how he liked the show. My friend replied with straight face. “I like Joe Buck”. It was truly priceless.
Hmm… I guess I can’t. I was trying to make up examples and it was much harder than I thought it would be.
I guess my problem with it is that it’s an anticipation thing. I listen to ESPN radio all day and when I hear “first time” I guess I want “in major league history” to follow. When I hear “It’s the first time there’s been a [whatever] since last Tuesday” it’s a let down.