My winner, by 30 lengths, is Brett Musberger. How does this guy have a job? He has to have some incriminating pictures of some bigwig. I’m watching LSU/Bama and the TV sound is muted. I’m listening on ESPN radio.
He’s a total jackass.
I knew who this would be as soon as I saw the question.
He is an obsequious twit.
Thiesman and Aikman.
My least favorite sportscaster tends to be whomever I’m listening to at the moment, though Joe Morgan is the first name that leaped into my mind. Come to think of it, the only sportscaster I enjoy listening to is Al Leiter. He comes across as very intelligent and always has something interesting to say about the game from a players perspective.
YES. Especially Theismann. Nothing to say, and unable to say it.
My wife would add Phil Simms.
Gruden thinks everything he’s watching is one of the best ____ in the N.F.L. And he practically pronounces the periods when he says it.
The correct answer to this question is Tim McCarver. You may move this to General Questions and close the thread. 
Mike Milbury. He is on three networks doing hockey games and is every bit as stupid and obnoxious as he was as a GM.
For play-by-play, probably Tirico. He annoys me like nothing else when he gets excited by a big play. It’s like he knows it’s a big play, so he needs to get excited, and it ends up coming up hollow. Joe Buck, on the other hand, simply doesn’t get excited. Tirico’s alright for golf, though.
For analysts, it’s hard to say. I’m no fan of Aikman, and it’s strange how he was fast-tracked to the #1 position. Just because he was a Cowboys qb doesn’t mean he was deserving of such a high spot. I’m sure there are others who are worse, but they probably get stuck doing lesser games that I’m less likely to see.
For analysis, hands down Rodney Harrison. It always comes back to him, comparisons to what he did, what he achieved, back when he was a Pat, when he was in the Pro Bowl, etc. Stuck record.
Chris Fucking Berman.
Listen, no one cares what the lyrics to Boys of Summer is, your “whoop” and “he could … go … all … the … way” and “backbackbackback” and all your other goofy, carefully planned off-the-cuff, sound effects are as hackneyed as “23-skidoo.” We’ve heard them all 70,000 times by now. Nobody gives a shit about your Swami picks - your “from Louisville” joke is so old, no one even knows where the hell it came from any more - and you’re ugly.
The only joy I get from him is when he gets going and forgets to inhale, to where his voice pinches and his face turns red. I keep hoping for an on-air aneurism.
Joe Morgan and Tim McCarver. Blowhard know-it-alls who are proud of the fact that they don’t know a damned thing.
Friggin Morgan actually says “Well I haven’t had a chance to see much of the <insert small market team> play.” Ass, your job is to watch and comment on baseball.
For football it’s Pheeel Seeems. During the Den-Pit game on Sunday he actually came out and said that “This is what the Broncos do so well, throw the ball down the feeeeld.” after a 30 yard gain. Followed immediately by his booth partner contradicting him with “That was the longest play of the year for the Broncos.”
These dumb fuckers get a story line and stick to it no matter what is actually happening.
It’s a toss up between Troy Aikman and John Gruden. They are both horrible and I mute games when they are in the booth.
Paintcharge, I take it you’re really looking forward to Jeeem Nantz and Pheeel Simms calling the Peeetriots game on Saturday, right?
When Mike Mayock is talking, there is one thing running through people’s minds: “Mike Mayock is talking”.
Not “Mike Mayock just made a good point”, or “Mike Mayock just said something really stupid”…it’s impossible to concentrate on what he’s saying because of that excrucible voice of his!
I’m going to go way out here and name a couple odd ones.
Dick Button - He does the figure skating stuff on the American networks. Dude, this guy is terrible. My wife is really into figure skating and Dick Button ruins a lot of performances by talking at the wrong moments, being overly critical(again, at the wrong times), and sounding like a worn out relic.
John Tesh - Anyone else remember his commentating for the gymnastics back in the '92 and '96 Olympics? Horrible, glurgy, and pathetic. Kind of like his music.
**Cliff Drysdale **- Tennis. I have to admit, he usually does not bother me, but he can really get boring over a two week tennis tournament. I’m not actually sure how he got to be on American television. He never won a grand slam tournament as a player(he did win a doubles one). He could not have been that famous in America when he played. And yet, he is the go-to guy for a lot of American tennis coverage.
Then again, I really enjoy Patrick and John McEnroe as commentators. I think a lot of people may disagree on that one, but I like both of them.
Ahh crap. Should have guessed they’d be there.
Will the story be
1.How can the terrible Peeetriots Deeefence possibly stop Teeem Teeeebow? or
- Can Teeebow keep up with the (I guarantee he’ll use the phrase) “high-powered New England offence”?
I was watching an old Bowl game on TV in the past few weeks and, you know, I really miss Keith Jackson.
As to who I dislike, Tirico is one… don’t really understand why he’s got the job. Dennis Miller was another… again, WTF is he doing in the booth?
Thanks for this thread! I look no further than the OP to declare your guy the winner. A total shit.
If others (whom I have yet to read) have worthy contenders beyond Lord Brent, I may be compelled to agree with them as to #2 or lower, but Brent is Top Dog Shit.
If it matters, my pick for #1 (Top Quality) at the other end of the scale is Joe Tessitore.
I can’t believe that Theismann keeps getting new gigs. He’s awful.
Once upon a time, I enjoyed Berman’s schtick, but I agree, it’s gotten very tired.
I don’t like Aikman much (and, as a Packer fan, I get way too much of him these days). I think he spends way too much time talking about the quarterbacks.