I’ve been rewatching the Arrowverse shows on Netflix with the wife, and I finally put my finger on what bugs me about these shows: Entitlement.
Specifically, as exemplified by Thea Queen and Iris West, and their constant anger at people keeping secrets from them. Certainly, their anger is justified in a few instances, when the “secret” is something they genuinely had a right to know. But when it comes to the secret identity stuff, I’m growing increasingly irritated at the way they believe that, because they are related to somebody, or are in a relationship with somebody, or are friends with somebody, that they are **entitled **to know absolutely everything about that person.
I think this was lampshaded (if that’s the right word) beautifully in the late third season of The Arrow. The Arrow’s team is locked up in the dungeon in Nanda Parbat, and The Flash shows up to save them … and Felicity immediately cries out, “Barry!” Then Barry responds with, “Thank you, Felicity, for outing me in front of the supervillain.”
And that’s the whole point. If an experienced team member like Felicity can slip up like that, what is Thea or Iris going to do in a high-stress situation? Yeah, they’re going to yell out real names, not code names. And that’s the reason for the secret.
Given all the social justice warrior crap that is forced into the later seasons of all these shows, I can’t help but wonder if this “entitlement” is more propaganda designed to condition the viewers into accepting the idea of government surveillance and having everything we do tracked.
Iris is actively trying to find out who “The Flash” is, and writing articles about him. It makes no sense to keep Barry’s identity from her - she’s more likely to accidentally reveal something that could give away his identity while not knowing than she is by knowing (and Barry tells people his identity at the drop of a hat anyway).
That’s annoying, but this is what really grinds my gears:
Hero’s best friend finds out that they’re a superhero. Hero makes best friend promise not to tell anyone, not even the friend’s wife/boyfriend/significant other. Friend keeps this promise, but other events happen and friend’s w/b/so finds out anyway. And then gets pissed at the friend for not immediately sharing someone else’s deeply held secrets with them.
Asshole, it’s not his secret to share with you! Just because you two are fucking doesn’t mean they automatically have to betray the trust of every other person they know!
I think if Person A is in a close personal relationship with Person B—certainly an ongoing intimate relationship—then Person A is justified in believing that Person A has the right to know if Person B is leading a secret double life, particularly a second life that puts Person B at risk of physical or other danger, or a second life that involves morally questionable acts such as extrajudicial pursuit and punishment of presumed lawbreakers, potentially illegal acts, or the use of physical coercion or violence against others.
Person A should have the right to refuse to be in a relationship with someone who engages in such behavior. It’s a very reasonable expectation. It puts Person A in moral and perhaps physical jeopardy.
If Person B believes that revealing such information is untenable then Person B should avoid intimate relationships with people who aren’t voluntarily and knowledgeably joining that life.
Yup. I think that was the scene that really twigged me to this. Iris is willing to end her relationship with Eddie because he won’t tell her what’s going on. Girl, if you’re going to date/marry a law enforcement officer, or a soldier, or several other professions, it’s a basic fact that there are some things he’s not allowed to talk about with you.