Often when I go to the bathroom in bars or clubs or whatever, I find myself suffering from, well, stagefright. You know, that long line of people, waiting impatiently behind you, all the people talking, moving and shifting; sometimes its just too much.
Sometimes I just pack it in, zip up, and retreat. I know, pathetic, right? If I’m really wasted its fine, but early in the night, I may have problems.
I think they should develop a fountain type thing that emits a pleasant smell, to put into the bathrooms. The wooshing, sprinkling, and tinkling would really help I think.
If it makes you feel any better, my son had this to say about urinals in men’s bathrooms–
“We don’t back up the brown bus to a big old trough, what makes anybody think I want to see or have them see me doing THAT? Kind of a private thing, you know? Just between me and my…”
(This is when he started giggling. He’s eleven.) shakes head
It’s not just you, dude. That’s why I’m a stall guy.
For a variety of reasons, I will use a urinal under none but the direst of circumstances. One of those reasons is the particular type of “performance anxiety” you have described.
If they had stalls for the urinals, I’d probably be happy to use them, so it’s nothing to do with urinals per se. I for one have simply never felt that just because I’m a guy doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have privacy. It has nothing to do with wondering who’s scoping my package or anything like that, it’s a simple issue of my having a low tolerance for sacrificing my own dignity.
In college I had girlfriends who regularly needed to have us flip on the faucet for them to be able use the litterbox, as it were. Not just one person, either. So I think this is fairly common.
Hmmm…well I’m not sure being on par with an 11-year old makes me feel better. I just want to pee when I have to pee dammit! I could either give up alcohol, wear a diaper, or solve my (occasional) problem. At 25, the first one is out of the question. So that leaves me with…?
Hey, guy. I wasn’t implying you needed an eleven year old’s words of wisdom to make you feel better. Since all the bathrooms I see have stalls, I thought I’d let you know you weren’t alone.
Not being alone…I guess that’s the problem though…shit. I can’t get this right.
if your not used to having women using the mens room at the same time, or uncomfortable with someone using the sink, trashcan, or floordrain! Modesty is not an issue there.
later, Tom
I agree with KneadtoKnow; if there are stalls its not really a big deal. Its the urinals that are kinda out there, or worse, if you’re stuck going in the regular toilet.
I don’t really care if anyone sees my wang; the pressure is what keeps me from going, all those people wandering in and out, waiting for you to go.
I used to have the worst pee performance anxiety. Then about three years ago I read a Stephen King short story in which the lead character has to count the prime numbers (1,3,5,7,11,13,17,19,23…) before he peed. This worked for a while but then I had to count higher and higher…finally I made it to college and just learned to deal. But I won’t shit if anyone is nearby. Hell no! Both things seem like such a personal thing…glad I’m not the only one.
Most of the clubs I go to have unisex bathrooms too. It sucks, doesn’t it?
I can take a whiz with others in the bathroom as long as they are milling around at the sinks, or talking with each other. But I freeze up, too, if someone is waiting behind me and seems to be impatient. What’s worse is when someone comes up to the urinal right next to you, and it’s so quiet. I can never get started under those circumstances. As soon as the dude leaves, the dam opens.
I think the clinical name for this is PUR (“public urine retention”) aka “shy bladder.”
Well at least there are a few people who share my pain. I never crap in a bar or club anyway; I make sure that that is taken care of before I leave.
I had a roommate who used to shit with the door open so he could talk to everybody while he went. Now that was strange, but I have to admire his ability to multi-task.
