Ditto for me. After reading though the full ENG 1 thread, I just had to keep coming back for more of the same. You guys are addictive!
That was quite a rant! Does anyone know if the guest that posted it ever became a member?
And, where are these people finding these giant, mutant, rabid, slavering monsters of the Marmot family? We have groundhogs around here, and they’re fat and harmless.
They aren’t, really. Gopher is another name for Prairie Dog, which is a much smaller beast. But, I guess in the heat of passion, any name will do.
Er, guess it wasn’t that clear…that was Scylla. His first post, in fact. He started as the guest AlSmith, who had some amusing groundhog troubles. (For some reason, that name doesn’t show up any more. I guess it was the software change.)But mid-way through that thread, he registered under his current name.
Are you really Dr. Phil?
Did you want your ground hog sand wedge on rye or whole wheat?
Wow! One of my best friends is a Prairie Dog, Dakota by name, and she’s roughly the size of a soccar ball with legs. A squishy, brown, fuzzy soccar ball. Just how big ARE these 'hogs?
Scylla, although I have to admit a sneaking sympathy for you, the greater part of my heart goes out to the poor gopher. Yes, I do realize they can pack a nasty set of teeth and an attitude to match. Still, ya gotta admit they’re kinda cute.
Now I’m assuming you’re in the USofA. This is a good thing. You see, while we’re banned from owning a home-grown gopher, imported, (like Dakky), is just fine, provided you have the proper permits.
If you’d like to go out back and pack up one or two, I
d be glad to take them off your hands. Actually, I’d be glad, but I’m not too sure about Mr zoogirl. Well, maybe I could have them sent to the zoo. Nah, better not. Dakky never did think much of rivals. She wants all the attention herself.
Hey! I’ve got it! How about if I come there? I’ll bring my own tent and just hang out in your backyard with my new little buddies. I’ll even bring carrots!
Waddaya think? 
Scylla, I hope you were careful when you disposed of the groundhog’s carcass. It might have had rabies. Or did you leave it for your wife to deal with?
Dude! You should make that sucker into a groundhog-skin rug for in front of your fireplace! Make an example for the others …
Scylla didn’t mess around. Scylla used a Hefty bag to pick it up, then he dug a hole and dumped it in. Then he poured a little gasoline and motor oil in the hole. Then he filled the hole. Then he put a little more gasoline and motor oil on the filled hole (the gas an oil stops other animals from digging up the carcass.) Then he put the hefty bag in another bag and threw it away. Then he washed off his porch with water and chlorine beach.
Scylla loves his daughter, his animals and tries to do the right thing biohazardous materials.
Except for gasoline and motor oil, which Scylla is fine with dumping on the ground?
Yes I am. You don’t need much, and it’s what the a PA game commissioner recommends you do with suspicious animal corpses. They only collect and test them if a person has been bit.
The small amount of motor oil and gasoline breaks down quickly and is much better than having the corpse spread any diseases through scavengers.
Sorry. I was tired. I guess it would have become clear if I’d read the whole thread.
So, Scylla has a blood feud going with the groundhog clan? The entire species? I’ve never even heard of anyone else having problems with a single groundhog, let alone a series of them.
Wow, I’ve killed a lot of groundhogs in my day, but never with a golf club. I bow to your greatness.
Okay, I was wrong about this, too. Technically, Gophers are totally distinct from BOTH Prairie Dogs AND Groundhogs, but I have heard people refer to Prairie Dogs as Gophers.
Gopher - up to 13 inches and 18 ounces - several Genuses, but all are nocturnal
Prairie Dog - up to 12 inches - Cynomys ludovicianus
Groundhog - about 24 inches - Marmota manox
I would be you have an actual Prairie Dog. They’re all brown, so that doesn’t help.