My younger son is aking Hubster and me to move in with them. They lost the childcare they had lined up. I’m sympathetic, but I don’t know if I could handle an infant for 8 - 12 hours a day anymore. It’s also an hour and a half from where we live. This town and my house aren’t much, but they’re mine. It’s a small town and he lives in a rather large city suburb. It would help us financially, but psychologically? Not so much.
I guess I’m curious what other people think. Umm, on this board. jd vance can fuck right off.
One can usually find paid childcare in a large city suburb. They lost this setup, but they can’t find another?
Are they asking you to (or would you have to) sell your current home?
Do they have adequate space for you to have your own living quarters - your own room, a bathroom - at their home?
Backstory counts. Sick husband. Daughter, family and pets living in a chaotic home, with her.
Do IT. Do IT.
You can always change your mind later. It’s not contractual.
It may be the break away you need.
DO IT.
How old are you? Handling a newborn is going to be a lot but imagine how much more exhausting the baby will be once he or she starts to crawl and then toddle around the house. Will you have the energy to chase him or her?
Everything they can find has a year waiting list and is really expensive.
I don’t know about the house etc. I’ve never gotten there. Hubster doesn’t travel much except for doctor apts. I mean he could, but doesn’t really like to. I’m stopping there when I go to the baby shower next month.
He said he Wasn’t asking me to sell my house.
Newborns sleep alot. Easy the first months.
You work into it.
DO IT!
Heh, I didn’t post that daughter and family moved out. It got nasty. Son ans sil punching eachother … good times. I told them just because we live in a trailer park doesn’t mean we have to act like it. So now son and his girlfriend are helping me reclaim the place.
Well, that’s different
I’m 65. And I don’t have the energy for that now. I work one day and sleep for two. I don’t even know mom.
I have to rethink my opinion.
Here I’ve been worrying about you.
So happy you have help.
Yeah, sorry you were worried. I’ve had a lot going on, and it’s really embarrassing. I told both those boys (especially my older son … he hit first) that violence is never ever a way to solve differences. He feels bad … eh sil was wondering if we noticed he won’t come in the house. 
I told my daughter that I really don’t care. He can come in if he wants, but I’m not wringing my hands over it.
Where did they go to?
His mom’s house, and they are driving her extra car. Hee. Daughter has a new drive to find somewhere to live.
I told you they’d find a way.
People always do.
They sink or swim.
I know you gotta be missing the grandkids tho’.
Wellll, they come here to get ready for school. Most the kids didn’t want to switch schools. Daughter doesn’t drive so she stays in town till he gets out of work, and the kids get out of school. She goes to a friends house after the kids get on the bus. I sleep through most of that, but I still see them. Seriously, though, I’ve seen damn near enough of them for a while. It sounds awrul, but she’s pushed me pretty far.
I totally understand.
They should’ve changed schools this near the beginning.
They will have to eventually if they’re found going out of district.
Don’t let your daughter use this as a foothold back inside.
Unless
1- you have your own quarters there
2 - can afford to keep your own house in case it doesn’t work out
3 - there are clearly defined roles
4 - there is a clear timeline (ie: not free childcare forever)
I would not do it.
Infants may sleep a lot, but they also might not. They grow fast too, and that infant will soon be into everything. Remember how exhausting kids are, and you aren’t the same person you were when you had your own kids. Think long and hard about this.
It kind of sounds like you don’t want to and/or don’t think you can and are looking for permission to say no.
My cousin had a surprise baby shortly after she turned 40. Her advise to me was to finish any baby-making i planned sooner, rather than later, as she said her energy level at 40 just wasn’t up to it.
(And i found infants exhausting to care for. My first day back at work, after hiring a babysitter, i remember holding a cup of coffee and realizing i would be able to drink it without interruption, and without fear of damaging another human being. And i felt an enormous wave of relief. My job was MUCH easier than caring for a newborn.)
The family dynamics/history sound so full of drama to me - at least what I could understand of them - that I would be EXTREMELY hesitant to move in with your son. I’m 2 years younger than you, and I sure don’t need that kinda drama.
I’ve known several women in their 50s and 60s who agreed to assume significant childcare responsibilities for grandkids. I’m sure there are many grandmoms who find that a wonderful experience, but each and every one we know ended up having difficulties. Most of them prefer some modicum of flexibility in their retirement, rather than an unpaid fulltime job. And some have had the experience in which their kids did not appear appreciative of the grandparents’ efforts, and began treating them more like employees than as parents.
It is unfortunate that they did not line up reliable, affordable childcare, but IMO that is sorta high on the list of folk oughta do when they plan on having kids. Sure, if you want, offer to provide childcare on whatever basis works for you. Maybe a few days here or there. And maybe the parents can drop the baby off at YOUR home. But I don’t see an upside to moving in with them - other than the potential for entertaining threads here when the shit hits the fan! 