Song Lyrics that just annoy you

[Frylock]

@Pochacco

Joan Osbourne’s If God Was One of Us:

"What if God was one of us,
Just a slob like one of us … "

Um … that would be Christianity, dear.

That one always bothered me too, for a different reason. The question, as asked in that song, seems pointless. I’m waiting for her to explain what she’s getting at by asking “What if God was one of us…” and she never does. She just asks the question. And I’m left thinking, “And… so what?”

-FrL-

Okay, here are the lyrics to a parody I wrote of this song back in High School. I’ve forgotten five of the lines, which I’ve replaced with ellipses. My apologies. For even posting this.
If I sat on my cat
would she get angry? Would she
come when I called,
even though she’s got a back that’s
rigid, made of wood?
…
…
Would she yowl in pain?

And yeah, yeah,
she’s cool to pet.
And yeah, yeah,
she purrs when I’m around.
And yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah yeah.

What if my cat was a chair?
Tell me, do you think you’d stare
if my chair were growing hair
and trying to lick itself clean?

Would you like to buy a cat?
Yes I know it looks more like
a chair, but I promise you that
this was once was feline
and she doesn’t scratch the furniture.
…
…
…

And yeah, yeah,
she’s cool to pet.
And yeah, yeah,
she purrs when I’m around.
And yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah yeah.

What if my cat was a chair?
Tell me do you think you’d stare
if my chair was growing hair
and trying to lick itself clean?
And licking something that’s obscene?
My territory marking queen,
as a chair of wood or bag of bean.

[Leaffan]

@Frylock

In some parts of the US, "“Bean” has one syllable while “Been” has two.

So umm, how does been have two syllables? Bee-in? Bi-in?

[RTFirefly]

You’ve all managed to forget about the existence of this song until now:

There’s got to be a morning after,
if we can hold on through the night…

Hard to be wrong about that.

[Frylock]

@Leaffan

So umm, how does been have two syllables? Bee-in? Bi-in?

“Beeyin.” Accent on the first syllable. Though come to think of it I guess I hear “Biyin” (accent on first syllable again) as well. In fact, the latter is probably more frequent in my experience, but I didn’t notice it because I hear it as a “lazy” way of pronouncing “Beeyin.”

-FrL-

[Fearless_Leader]

@SaharaTea

Paula Cole is the queen of annoying, moronic, nonsensical lyrics:

(snip)

and “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?”

Where is my Marlboro man
Where is his shiny gun
Where is my lonely ranger
Where have all the cowboys gone
Where have all the cowboys gone
Where have all the cowboys gone
Yippee I, yippee yeah

Not disagreeing with you here. But just to me, this song has always reminded me of The Bridges of Madison County. In the novel Robert Kincaid refers to himself as “one of the last cowboys” and I imagine the song as Francesca comparing her love for Robert with her unsatisfying everyday life.

Or maybe I’m just a ween. Hard to tell.

[Stratocaster]

@panache45

Obviously, she’s speaking directly to a person. But then she tells that person that she’s ***not ***referring to them after all. There’s no way this makes sense.

I don’t think that’s what she’s saying. She’s not saying, “You’re so vain, you incorrectly assume this song must be about you.” She’s saying, “You’re so vain, you’ll naturally assume this song is about you, despite the fact I haven’t named you (um, you’ll happen to be right, but you’re vain nonetheless).”

As for all the other details in the song, I took it to mean the sorts of thing Mr. Vain did, not necessarily exact things, though he sounds like the kind of guy who hangs out with a crowd where it would not be unusual at all for lots of people to have flown their Lear jets up to Nova Scotia to see the total eclipse.

[Antinor01]

All I have to say is…give the damned horse a damn name already!

[KneadToKnow]

@betenoir

Hmmm…well I could make the argument (and I’m about to) that the first line is refering the army as a singal entity and the second as a bunch of individuals. A “they” which would call for a plural. So it kind of makes sense to me.

To be honest, I don’t even know what song this is, and I have a completely different problem with it:

Oliver’s army is here to stay
Oliver’s army are on their way

If they’re already here, how can they still be on their way?

[meek]

“In View” by the Canadian band The Tragically Hip has lyrics that annoy me.
I don’t know why they annoy me, but they do.

This part…

"…And I’ve been meaning to call you
I’ve been meaning to call you
Then I do
I’ve been meaning to call you
I’ve been meaning to call you
Then I do

Phone rings once
Phone rings twice
Phone rings three times… "

For Christs sake Gord, SHE AIN’T TAKING YOUR CALLS! Get over it already!
.

[amarinth]

@Aspidistra

Also I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair - makes me want to go thump her just for the title alone

I thought it was “punk rock girl” but either way? Punk Rock? Flowers? Can this person not tell the difference between punk rockers and hippies?

[DSYoungEsq]

@Wee Bairn

Then they inaccuarcy is in the accusation, sort of- you’re so vain, you probably think this song about you- well if it is about this person, then she is describing things the person actually did, so why would they be vain in thinking a song that specifically describes things they have done is specifically about them? It’s not like she is listing off generalites, she is listing at least a couple of specific events.

You flew your lear jet to Nova Scotia to see the eclipse? If I knew her, and I had actually done this, of course I would think the song is about me, but becasue of common sense, not vanity.

Actually, with respect, not so. One of the statements Carly made shortly after the song was that James Taylor was not the one she was talking about, despite the fact that he had flown to Nova Scotia to see a total eclipse not to long prior.

I do take your larger meaning, though. Still, that’s part of the poetic license. Indeed, if you recall the lyrics, the first stanza is quite generalized, and not specific to any person in any way, so if someone is already by the first chorus thinking the song must be about them, it is because they are so vain as to think she would actually sing about them.

Of course, the trouble with vanity is that it’s often deserved.

[DSYoungEsq]

@panache45

Obviously, she’s speaking directly to a person. But then she tells that person that she’s ***not ***referring to them after all. There’s no way this makes sense.

Sort of like if I came up to you and said, “Hey, you’ve got nice eyes. But how dare you think I mean ***your ***eyes!”

When in the world does she EVER say in the song she ISN’T talking about the mysterious person to whom she addresses the song???

[DSYoungEsq]

@Ferd Burfel

The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound

Plese do NOT start in on any songs by America. Their lyrics were simply Ulyssean. :smack:

[Wee_Bairn]

@DSYoungEsq

Actually, with respect, not so. One of the statements Carly made shortly after the song was that James Taylor was not the one she was talking about, despite the fact that he had flown to Nova Scotia to see a total eclipse not to long prior.

I do take your larger meaning, though. Still, that’s part of the poetic license. Indeed, if you recall the lyrics, the first stanza is quite generalized, and not specific to any person in any way, so if someone is already by the first chorus thinking the song must be about them, it is because they are so vain as to think she would actually sing about them.

Of course, the trouble with vanity is that it’s often deserved.

Good point

[Leaffan]

@Frylock

“Beeyin.” Accent on the first syllable. Though come to think of it I guess I hear “Biyin” (accent on first syllable again) as well. In fact, the latter is probably more frequent in my experience, but I didn’t notice it because I hear it as a “lazy” way of pronouncing “Beeyin.”

-FrL-

OK. I can hear that now, Jed.

Think I’ll go have a be-eer.

No offense implied! We all have accents.

[Leaffan]

@Uvula Donor

Sorry, but that just made me laugh. Morrison should have known better? His lyrics were outrageous suckfests 90% of the time.

Well, my point being that he was a college graduate, quite intelligent, and apparently well-read. That is before he turned into an alcoholic, self-indulgent prick.

[gonzomax]

http://www.bobdylan.com/songs/quinn.html The whole damn thing done by Dylan.

[Leaffan]

Oh!

Crap, I almost forgot about the only Beatles’ song that makes me want to vomit:

“Happy ever after in the market place
Molly lets the children lend a hand
Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face
And if you want some fun -
Take Obladi oblada.”
PUKE!!!

[CairoCarol]

The whole damn thing done by Dylan.

Thank god. Up until the moment I read that, I felt so … alone.

[Nature_s_Call]

Kelly Clarkson’s “Because of You”

*Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk.
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt *

It’s that line “I never stray too far from the sidewalk” The song is about an angst-ridden destructive relationship that has caused Kelly to mistrust all of humanity. The best metaphor for this is proximity to a sidewalk?

Plus, she’s not ON the sidewalk, now is she?. She’s playing in traffic - just not too far from the sidewalk. How is that playing it safe?

This is how the chorus starts. It’s the big payoff for what the verses set up. This line IS the song. But she may as well sing “Because of you I don’t run with scissors half as much as I used to.”