Ok, I was just listening to Back in the USSR by the Beatles and heard these lyrics.
“Flew in from Miami Beach B-O-A-C
Didn’t get to sleep last night
On the way the paper bag was on my knees
Man I had a dreadful flight”
Can anyone top these?
Easily:
- Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!*
from MacArthur Park, lyrics by Jimmy Webb
The worst ever:
Then there was the time you drove that little car
Down Sunset Boulevard
At three in the morning
Doing 90 miles an hour
In a 30-mile zone
And blamed me when you got that ticket.
From “Rosecrans Boulevard” by Jimmy Webb. Yup, the same guy who did Macarthur Park, which is poetry compared to this. At least that rhymed.
You know, I just looked up the full lyrics on the Internet, and they’re even worse.
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord,
Yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord.
Then it repeated. Sung by John Tesh who I guess is now singing Christian praise music. At least I think that’s what it was.
Honestly I can’t decide if these are crap or brilliant.
*I’ve been over to your house
And you’ve been over to mine
I’ve slept in your tree house
My middle name is Earl *
~Tom Petty, “A Mind With a Heart of Its Own”
He rhymes house with house and finishes the verse off with Earl! WTF?
On the other hand, it’s just nonsensical enough that I’ve never forgotten the verse or the song.
Float like the heavens above…looks like MUSKRAT LOOOO-OOO-OOO-OVE!
And from the same piece of musical vomit:
Nibblin’ on bacon
Chewin’ on cheese
Sam says to Suzie
Honey, would you please be my Mrs
Suzie says, yes, with her kisses
Now, he’s ticklin’ her fancy
Rubbin’ her toes
Muzzle to muzzle
Now anything goes
Captain and Tennile should have gone down with that ship, in my opinion
That would be “paperback.”
No, I guess it’s paper bag. 35 years I’ve lived with this mondegreen.
You’re right; it’s dreadful. Thanks for ruining it for me 
I didn’t want to have to do this, but…
Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed
In love’s hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants
also from MacArthur Park, lyrics by Jimmy Webb.
[sub]Did he write this song after a bad breakup with a Home Ec teacher or something?[/sub]
George Harrison (I Got My Mind Set on You):
*I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
But it’s gonna take money
A whole lot of spending money
It’s gonna take plenty of money
To do it right child*
Duran Duran (Looking for (Cracks in the Pavement)):
Tonight of all nights
When I should be feeling just right
Don’t want to be in public
My head is full of chopstick
I don’t like it
Chopstick??
*Lovin’ You-Minnie Riperton
Lovin’ you I see your soul come shinin’ through
And every time that we oooooh
I’m more in love with you
La la la la la la la… do do do do do*
Between squealing like a rabid badger is in her panties and the saccharine sweet lyrics, I give this one a barfy smiley.
Eagle-Eye Cherry’s[www.lyricsbox.com/eagle-eye-cherry-lyrics-when-mermaids-cry-db7897r.html+mermaids+cry+eagle+eye+cherry&hl=en]](http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:a8kwKg0WtykJ:[url) “When Mermaids Cry”
Seagulls fly
When mermaids cry
Those tears won’t dry
For Lorelei
Such a horrible song lyrically. I’m cringing without even hearing it.
Using asbestos gloves to throw thread over the fence into Cafe Society.
From the one and only Lene Lovich:
*Like Joan of Arc
You must be brave
And listen to your heart
Imagination is essential
To creative art*
Champagne Supernova by Oasis:
Slowly walking down the hall,
faster than a cannonball
In fact, the majority of their songs have shit lyrics.
Until you’ve been beside a man
You don’t know who he knows.—Blame it on Midnight by Bob Seager.
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair.----I am, I said by Neil Diamond.
“Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro
You look it up.
Note:
In “Back in the USSR”, it’s “paper bag” in reference to a barf bag. He had a dreadful flight, you see.
“Got My Mind Set on You” was not written by George Harrison. That “honor” goes to Rudy Clark who wrote in 1962.
I’m ready - to love you
I’m ready - to hold you
I’m ready - I’m ready
From the Brian Adams song “I’m Ready” (duh)
I have the horrifying memory of the day a live version of this song was playing at my local video store. It was soooo overwraught; he was soooo “reaaaadyyyyyy”… “don’t you know girl, I’m reaaaaaady”… “I’m telling you I’m reaaaadyyyyy”. Gawd it was awful. I seriously started walking around the store with my fingers in my ears going “la la la”… and the people there looked at me like I was the crazy one.
There are just too many to choose from. But my most recent favorite of horrible lyrics is:
*Girl you’re my angel, you’re my darling angel (hun)
Closer than my peeps you are to me, baby (tell 'em)
*