To be fair that song is a parody.
How about “Heard from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend you’ve been messing around.”
Every day a little sadder
A little madder
Someone get me a ladder
from Still… you turn me on by Emerson Lake & Palmer
it was Lake’s fault.
I love REM, but:
Moses went walking with the staff of wood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Newton got beaned by the apple good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Egypt was troubled by the horrible asp. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mister Charles Darwin had the gall to ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I suppose ABBA is like shooting fish in a barrel, but:
At Waterloo
Napoleon did surrender, oh yeah
Actually, no he didn’t.
I would like the OP to actually explain why the lyrics he posted are so bad. The whole song has plenty of clever wordplay–what exactly makes that opening (which manages to convey quite a bit of information with fun brevity) the “Worst”?
My contribution:
*On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings *
and
*The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound *
and
*In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain *
and if you’re lucky, you’ve blown your brains out before you can suffer through the second verse.
According to Steve Martin (talking to Johnny Carson), this exact line was why he never became a singer.
oooh! oooh! another one!
Andy Devine
Had a thong rind
It was sublime
But the wrong kind
5 points to anyone who can name the author. Biffy the Elephant Shrew is disqualified.
Hey, I love Back in the USSR. It’s hilarious, and intentionally so. “and Georgia’s always on my mind”? That’s funny already.
My nominee: I love Cream. but they lyrics in Politician are dreadful:
Hey now baby,
Get into my big black car.
Hey now baby,
Get into my big black car.
I want to just show you
What my politics are.
I’m a political man
And I practice what I preach.
I’m a political man
And I practice what I preach.
But don’t deny me baby
Now while you’re in my reach.
Is there any other song supposedly about politics that those on the left, right and center can all agree is utterly stupid?
But the floating guitars are cool in the studio version.
Then you’d miss the great line about the ocean being a desert. Sure, except that it is wet and full of life, that is. :wally
If even one person thinks that bad Neil Young imitation was actually him, Young should have sued for defamation of talent.
Ooo! Ooo! No one’s got mine.
The Shania Twain song where she says
“Lucky that my breasts are small and humble…
so you don’t confuse them
with mountains!”
I could be a victim of a mondegreen, but I’ll be damned if that’s not what it sounds like she saying!
What is it a parody of?
I’ve always been a fan of the Canadian band Sloan, but they had one particular howler:
And the joke is
When he awoke is
His body was covered in Coke fizz
And that was the chorus of their biggest hit in Canada, “Money City Maniacs.”
You mean Shakira.
Picky, picky.
The mods frown on posting complete lyrics, so I’ll just post the chorus
Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out you see
I been looking around awhile
You got something for me
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
From Brand New Key by Melanie
The verses are just as bad, and there’s a bunch of la-la-la’s in there for good measure.
I was wondering when this line would get quoted. A buddy of mine and I were discussing it at work a few days ago and we couldn’t stop laughing at the utter absurdity of this line.
Nitpick: Isn’t it “you CAN’T remember your name”?
I love Slaon (naturally, I’m from the Maritimes!) but they had quite a few groaners… they’re just so dang catchy! (at least in the early days, I haven’t listened to much since Navy Blues)
From Sugartune:
"*I wrote for you
This sugartune
To help you through
What you’ve gotta do
When you’re on the ground
And keep fallin’ down
Remember how I made this sound
Sound * "
From Underwhelmed:
"*She was underwhelmed
If that’s a word
I know it’s not
'Cause I looked it up
That’s one of those skills
That I learned in my school * "
(it only goes on… if only I could copy the whole song - that bit about “she rolled her R’s, her beautiful R’s” kills me)
From “Losing California”
“They’re losing California
Inch by inch, sit back and watch it go
Coming in clearly
Dance, dance, dance to the radio”
And too many more. 
(But I loves them, anyway!)
“Back in the USSR” is a parody of all Beach Boy-type songs.
I googled it and got sites that had both can and can’t. I listened to the song as well, and it sure sounds like “can” to me.
How about Barenaked Ladies?
If I had a million dollars
I’d buy you a fur coat
But not a real fur coat, that’s cruel
Steve Miller Band, Take the Money and Run
Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas.
He knows just what the facts is.
He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice.
He makes his living off of people’s taxes.
The most excruciating rhymes. Ever.
Paul Anka:
Havin’ my baby,
You’re the woman I love and I love what it’s doin’ to ya.
Havin’ my baby,
You’re a woman in love and I love what’s goin’ through ya.
Oh yeah…and how the next part goes “I was overwhelmed but I’m sure of that one/'Cause I learned it back in grade school/When I was young…” Jay Ferguson’s greatest triumph!
Yeah, they’re brilliant like that…