Agggh! My brain…it bleeds! Well, at least someone came up with something that can get that damn Muskrat song out of my head.
Let’s see
From Bon Jovi’s I’ll be there for you
… I heard your suitcase say goodbye…
Badge from Cream. One of my favorite songs, despite such lines like
I told you ’bout the swans, that they live in the park.
and
Yes, I told you that the light goes up and down.
Don’t you notice how the wheel goes ’round?
Oh, and I heard some crapy Christmas song last month…I’ll Google it… hmmm, can’t find it, but it had lots of stupid lyrics, with the chorus containing something like
I don’t want presents under the tree, all I want is your presence here with me* :rolleyes:
Let me fix my coding.
I don’t want presents under the tree, all I want is your presence here with me :rolleyes:
Jesus Mary and Joseph… I only remebered one line, it being the worst ever penned.
I like girls who wear Ambercrombie and Fitch
but then I looked up the lyrics. Its by LFO, its called Summer Girls, and I can’t even read the whole thing. Heres the chorus:
*New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick
And I think it’s fly when girls stop by
For the summer, for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch
I’d take her if I had one wish
But she’s been gone since that summer
Since that summer
*
a couple other jems:
*Summertime girls are the kind I like
I’ll steal your honey like I stole your bike
Like the color purple, macaroni and cheese
Ruby red slippers and a bunch of Trees*
Here’s a pop-up/directX free link, if anyone can bear to read the entire song.
I heard your friend tell a friend that told a friend of mine
That you was thinking that we should do it one more time
If this ain’t the truth then hopefully it’s not a lie
Cause I ain’t got no issue with hitting that another time
–Nelly, My Place
Am I parsing this correctly? “If this isn’t true, then I hope it’s true?”
The one annoying me the most right now is by Dashboard Confessional:
Hope,
dangles on a string,
like slow-spinning redemption
What’s wrong with this line? Especially since it sets up the “green dress” joke later in the song.
“Good Morning Starshine”:
Gliddy glub gloopy
Nibby nabby noopy
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba
Nooby abba nabba
Le le lo lo
Tooby ooby walla
Nooby abba naba
Early morning singing song
Singing a song
Humming a song
Singing a song
Loving a song
Laughing a song
Singing a song
Sing the song
Song song song sing
Sing sing sing sing song
Do I win?
Oh, please. Well-thought-out, if ill-conceived, wordplay is NOT a qualifier for “worst lyrics.” You want worst lyrics?
“We had joy, we had fun,
We had seasons in the sun…”
Man, there’s not a couplet in that dreckfest that doesn’t make me want to puke.
danceswithcats I agree “Loving you” is just about the sappiest song ever. That’s why I made it into a ringtone. Now everytime my hubby calls I hear “lalala la la” It’s pure evil.
I don’t know if they are the worst lyrics but they are the most pathetic. Peal Jam, “Black”
*I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you’ll be a star in somebody else’s sky but why, why WHYYYYYYY can’t it be mine?. Do do do do do do"
Oh, i’ll smash you all on this:
Des’ree - Life
I’m afraid of the dark
Especially when I’m in the park
When there’s no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don’t wanna see a ghost
It’s the sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
and
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life
Jesus H Corbett I hate that song. It’s like a 4 year old wrote it or summat.
“… but the stars we could reach
were just starfish on the beach”
huh? I’ve seen better poetry from high school girls.
How about Mel C’s (Sporty from the Spice Girls) heart-felt identification with the less fortunate in the world:
I can’t live without my phone
But you don’t even have a home
Yeah, that was the one I was going to post when I saw this thread, although you did miss out the line following that, which not only doesn’t rhyme, also has nothing to do with the song:
I don’t wanna see a ghost
It’s the sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news
Gah! Laziest writing/rhyming since Mmm Bop!
Heh. How about this bollocks from your man Seal:
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
…kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh,
The more I get of you,
Ooh…
Stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grey.
What the fuck does that mean? Having said that, I always thought it was ‘Kiss from a rose on the brain’. I don’t know which is worse.
I’ve said this before: Bad lyrics are just too easy to write, and too easy to find, to make them worthy of notice. I mean, do we really expect anything worthwhile from the latest disposable plastic-music overproduced top-40 “star”?
What it takes to really make it into the Pantheon of Bad Lyrics is bad lyrics combined with good music, so that you’re sucked in to listening, until you run headlong into the lyrics, and have their awfulness slammed into your head.
Or, to put it another way <Warning, explicit and gross metaphor!>, dog poo on the ground is just an annoying and avoidable part of life, but a delicious looking sandwich with dog poo filling is a true horror.
Is there anything worse than rocking along to Led Zeppelin (The founders of the hard rock wing of the Pantheon), being in the groove, and suddenly asking yourself “What the f*** is he trying to say?” as your internal groove comes screeching to a halt ?
There are so many bad lyrics to choose from that I haven’t decided on any to post yet, but I do want to say this:
I love to read your posts, paulberserker. I can hear your accent in my head and I always get a big kick out of it.
He said “bollocks” too! 
Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs treats this subject in his typically brilliant fashion. Many of the ones covered here are listed in it, including the two already mentioned that always turned my stomach - Terry Jack’s Season’s in the Sun and Paul Anka’s You’re Having My Baby. :barf smiley:
When I read the book I kept saying “Yeah, I always hated that song” with an occasional embarassing “But I like that one…”
There was one other one that luckily I’ve never heard, something like He hit me and it felt like a kiss. :eek: I don’t know the lyrics, and I don’t want to learn them.
I think they should repackage that bad song book with a CD set containing all the songs mentioned. As it is, I stop for the songs when I run across them on the radio and have a little grin. One I heard for the first time the other day was “Playground in my Mind”. (My name is Michael, I got a nickel…My name is Cindy, I’m having a baby…). It was awful. Sounded to me like the guy singing it was a pedophile. Normal people just don’t sit around enjoying imaginary playgrounds that much.