Cheers. As long as you clock it’s a West Yorkshire accent, its all gravy. Pronounced GRAY-vey.
Achy Breaky Heart
You can tell my arms to go back onto the phone
You can tell my feet to hit the floor
Or you can tell my lips to tell my fingertips
They won’t be reaching out for you no more
But don’t tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don’t think it’d understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man
Ooo
** The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You**
I don’t look good in no Armani Suits
No Gucci shoes - or designer boots
I’ve tried the latest lines from A to Z
But there’s just one thing that looks good on me
The only thing I want
The only thing I need
The only thing I choose
The only thing that looks good on me…is you
**The Warrior **
You run, run, run away
It’s your heart that you betray
Feeding on your hungry eyes
I bet you’re not so civilized
Well isn’t love primitive
A wild gift that you wanna give
Break out of captivity
And follow me stereo jungle child
Love is the kill
Your heart’s still wild
Shooting at the walls of heartache
Bang, bang
I am the warrior
Well I am the warrior
And heart to heart you’ll win
If you survive the warrior, the warrior
People, people, are we forgetting about “One Tin Soldier”?
Listen, children, to a story
That was written long ago,
'Bout a kingdom on a mountain
And the valley-folk below.
And then there’s:
Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won’t be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after…
One tin soldier rides away.
And, of course, the kicker:
*Now the valley cried with anger,
“Mount your horses! Draw your sword!”
And they killed the mountain-people,
So they won their just reward.
Now they stood beside the treasure,
On the mountain, dark and red.
Turned the stone and looked beneath it…
“Peace on Earth” was all it said.*
Where or where is that puke smiley whne you need it (although I LOVE the Me First and the Gimem Gimme’s version, if only because they know how awful it really is and did it for fun.)
Made worse that the song is a bastardized version of Angel of the Morning by Bonnie Tyler.
What, no one here has ever heard of Nancy Sinatra’s magnum opus of bad lyrics?
“These boots are made for walkin’,
And that’s just what they’ll do.
And one of these days these boots, my friend, are gonna walk all over you.”
The most terrible thing about that verse is that it’s not the worst line of the song. That’d be –
“You keep lyin’ when you should have been truthin’ … good.”
GAWD!
Action Packed, especially the Ronnie Dee cover. Kid, you don’t sound old enough to drive, let alone seeing action in the back seat of a Cadillac!
I’m surprised nobody’s mentioned this gem:
“I’ve been undressed by kings
And I’ve seen some things
That a woman ain’t s’posed to see.
I’ve been to Paradise
But I’ve never been to me.”
(or something like that. “I’ve Never Been to Me” by Charlene).
Also, from Three Dog Night’s “Easy to be Hard”:
“Especially people who care about strangers
Who care about evil and social injustice
Do you only care about bleeding crowd
How about a needing friend, I need a friend”
(I’m sorry–in my mind, the words “social injustice” do not belong in a song. Haven’t you people ever heard of metaphor?)
Eddie Rabbitt. I used to turn off my radio when this song came on:
'Cos I love a rainy night
Yeah, I love a rainy night
Well, I love a rainy night
I love a rainy night
Well, I love a rainy night
You can see it in my eyes
Yeah, I love a rainy night
Well, it makes me high
Ooh, I love a rainy night
You know I do, yeah, yeah
I love a rainy night
Now THAT is some serious creativity, eh?
Since we can’t post the entire lyrics, I left out most of the repeats of “I love a rainy night.” If I recall correctly, I counted once and he said it over 60 times, including the repeat 'n fade at the end.
She’s a funny kind of girl
Set sail on a ship in a bottle
She’s a funny kind of girl
And do the Swiss fake it when they yodel?
–The Trash Can Sinatras, “Funny Kind Of Girl”.
Sadly, it’s an absolute gem of a song apart from that bit.
Nah, that one works great in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
That is from Hair. Three Dog Night must have gotten a really bad pick in the lottery to do Hair cover songs. I think its purpose in the show was to give the audience time for a nap. Why anyone would cover it is beyond me.
Next - Too Close
*Baby when we’re grinding
I get so excited
Ooh, how I like it
I try but I can’t fight it
Oh, your dancing real close
Plus it’s real real slow
(You know what you’re doing, don’t you)
You’re making it hard for me
Now girl I know you felt it
Boo you know I can’t help it
You know what I want to do*
Whole song is about some guy popping a boner on the dance floor.
Yes, Three Dog Night went out of their way to pick songs with bad lyrics. Here is their first hit “One” written by Harry Nilsson:
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It’s the loneliest number since the number one
No is the saddest experience you’ll ever know
Yes, it’s the saddest experience you’ll ever know
'Cause one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
One is the loneliest number, whoa-oh, worse than two
…
One is the loneliest (number)
One is the loneliest (number)
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
(number)
One…! (one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do)
(number)
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
(number)
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
I need to know. I need to know.
Tell me baby girl 'cause I need to know.
I need to know. I need to know.
Tell me baby girl 'cause I need to know.
I need to know. I need to know.
Tell me baby girl 'cause I need to know.
I need to know. I need to know.
Tell me baby girl 'cause I need to know.
*
Elton John (or Bernie Taupin if you want to be picky): “If I was a sculptor… but then again, no”
Paul McCartney: “…ever-changin’ world **in ** which we live in”
Both indicative of lyrically creative bankruptcy.
Isn’t it a “kiss from a rose on the GRAVE?”
D’oh!
Sir Paul claims he was singing “this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’.”
I had always assumed that was a strange translation until I read the Spanish.
Which means exactly the same thing. Bilingual strangeness. Most of her Spanish stuff is witty and interesting, but her English stuff is just no good.
Adding my own, Natalie Merchant (whom I love) has a song called “Kind and Generous”.
More or less the second half of the song:
Just laziness on her part.
Worse-I hear it was inspired by Jennifer Love Hewitt.
The Chao Goes Mu, “Angel of the Morning” was Juice Newton. (And um, actually, I kinda like that song).
I stated once on a thread long ago that, although I really like the song, there’s one line from The Kentucky Headhunters’ Dumas Walker that always drives me nuts:
“He takes all his orders down one at a time,
Don’t need a pad, he’s got a photogenic mind.”
That’s photoGRAPHIC, idgits!