OK, so how many can we come up with? Let’s start with the classics: I got The Who, with Pictures Of Lily and Mary Anne With The Shaky Hand
“I Touch Myself” by Divinyls, of course. (I can’t believe there was a time I didn’t “get” that one!)
Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes
Hokey Pokey
You put your left hand in, you put your left hand out…
Oh, I am so going to the other place for that really, really bad try-hard :smack:
The 80s…
“Little Nikki” by Prince
“She Bop” by Cyndi Lauper
Turning Japanese by the Vapors (male).
Elvis Costello - Pump it Up
Hair the Musical - Sodomy - for the line “Masturbation can be fun”
Guster - Barrel of a Gun
Also from The Who, there’s the not-so-subtle, “How Can You Do It Alone?”
Get a Grip by Semisonic.
Dancing With Myself by Billy Idol?
Donald and Lydia by John Prine (based on the line near the end, “…mostly, they made love from 10 miles away.”)
Tori Amos - Icicle
I’d argue for the Beatles’ song “Help!”, at least referencing:
This requires, of course, that you understand what the singer needs help with.
“Rattlesnake Shake” by Fleetwood Mac
(“I know this guy/his name is Mick/Now he don’t care/if he ain’t got no chick”)
The Winker’s Song (Misprint) by Ivor Biggun.
In a VH1 show (can’t remember the name but it was about the true intent of songs), the band said the song wasn’t about masturbation. Can’t remember what they said it was about though.
I’d always believed that this was a drug song and the references like the ones you quoted were to pot. IIRC, this was recorded at the time when The Beatles were new to marijuana…having of course been introduced to it by the great Mr. Zimmerman. I’d also read that John was quite stoned when the song was recorded.
No one’s mentioned Green Day’s Longview, one of the more obvious masturbation songs out there.
“Sun In My Mouth” by Bjork
I kinda wonder about the Beatles “A Little Help from My Friends”-
“Do you believe in a love at first sight?
Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time.
What do you see (feel?) when you turn out the light?
I can’t tell you but I know it’s mine…”
Zebrahead - Playmate of the Year
Crappy song, but meh, fits with what you need.
“When masturbation’s lost it’s fun you’re fucking lazy”
from Green Day’s “Longview”.
Bite my lip and close my eyes
Take me away to paradise
I’m so damn bored I’m going BLIND!!!
And I smell like shit