Songs about "The First Woman I Ever Boned"

I was listening to the radio yesterday and I heard, in rapid succession, Chilliwack’s “In the Arms of Mary” (She took the pains of boyhood and turned them into feel-good; oh how I wish I were lying in the arms of Mary) and Bob Seger’s “Night Moves” (Workin’ on mysteries without any clues; workin’ on our night moves).

It made me wonder if there were enough songs about guys boning for the first time to fill up an entire concept album. The two other possible candidates I could think of were “Maggie May” by Rod Stewart (not clear if it’s the first time, but still) and “Bed of Rose’s” by The Statler Brothers (She took me in and wiped away my childhood).

Any other ideas?

“December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night)” presumably counts, since he realizes he was never gonna be the same and ruefully laments that it ended much too soon.

There must be a lot in country… Garth Brooks’ “That Summer” seems to fit for a start.

Billy Joel made it with a red-haired girl in a Chevrolet.

Summer (The First Time) by Bobby Goldsboro. Detailed account of 17 year old getting with a 31 year old woman.

Harry Chapin had a song called “Babysitter”, in which the narrator happily recounts how, as a 12 year old, he had his first sexual encounter with his 16-year-old babysitter.

“Raspberry Beret” by Prince

They say the first time ain’t the greatest
But I tell ya
If I had the chance to do it all again

I wouldn’t change a stroke
'Cause baby I’m the most
With a girl as fine as she was then

Paul Simon, “Duncan”

Just later on the very same night
I crept to her tent with a flashlight
And my long years of innocence ended
Well, she took me to the woods
Saying here comes something and it feels so good
And just like a dog I was befriended

Maybe it’s just me, but I didn’t think “Arms of Mary” was about a girl at all.

Marijuana, I assumed.

Come on Eileen, Dexy’s Midnight Runners.
Not sure if it counts, but *House of Fun *by Madness is about buying a condom for first time sex.
Lola, by the Kinks. Only not exactly.

Gary Puckett and the Union Gap’s This Girl is a Women Now. One of the ickiest songs ever.

Boned?

Paradise by the Dashboard Lights?

Desirée, by Neil Diamond

Almost the same scenario in “Wendy” by Odds. When I first heard it I had to prevent myself from singing the chorus out loud in public since it very tenderly drops the F-bomb.

How about a song about the First Man a female singer ever boned?

Strawberry Wine by Deanna Carter.

Only in the sense that you can take almost any given song and make it about drugs, if you try hard enough.

But an essential part of the Puckett “Circle of sex life” song cycle which includes:

Young Girl
Lady Willpower
This Girl is a Woman Now
Don’t Give In
Woman Woman
Over You

As a woman friend of mine has repeatedly stated over the years, “Gary Puckett was a pig.”

Another saucy babysitter is the subject of the Finn Brothers song Angel’s Heap.

The song does not have an especially clear narrative but supposedly is inspired by a trip out in the babysitter’s titular wreck of a car when the older Finn brother (Tim) had relations with ‘Angel’ herself.

Unreliable accounts (from the brothers themselves) suggest Neil was only 6 which would make Tim about 12.

TCMF-2L

Undercover Angel
Midnight fantasy
I never had a dream that made sweet love to me