I’d just like to add, there’s still a lesson to be learned. In a few years when the scratch turns into rust holes, or he tries to resell the car and has to take a hit on the price because of the dents. He’ll understand why you were pushing for the money.
Don’t get me wrong, in this situation, with this car, it’s totally up to him. But in 10 years when he buys a brand new Altima and two weeks later a friend of his taps one of the doors with their car, he’ll better understand the consequences of just ‘letting it go.’
I’d like to emphisize that he may still let it go, but he’ll understand that there will still be consequences down the road becuase of it.
Of course a $1400 claim on insurance for a high schooler is much different then a $1400 claim on the insurance of someone with 10 years expierence.
Well, they’re kids. The parts of their brains that deal with impulse control aren’t fully developed. The friend did not intend to ruin the OP’s car. It was the result of misjudging the distance between the cars. Had it gone according to plan, there would have been no damage to the car. Now, if the friend took a bat to the car, I’d agree with you. But as it was described in the OP, it sounds as if this was a prank to make it difficult for the OP’s kid to get to his car, not to deface or damage it in any way. Hell, if the drivers had a few more years’ experience and could accurately judge distances, it probably would have gone according to plan.
Like I said, I used to be young and I didn’t understand idiot prank behavior then, either. The vast majority of pranks are stupid. Pranks that involve other people’s property are even stupider. A prank that involves moving vehicles is monumentally stupid. If they were old enough to drive they’re old enough to realize this.
I guess it depends on perspective. Me, I work with college kids, and this doesn’t even come close to what I would consider boneheaded behavior. Most of us past the age of 25 wouldn’t do this, but I can see a bunch of guys having a good time doing a stunt like this… into perpetuity. I’ll bet old guys in nursing homes box in other guys with their Rascals.
Hell I’m in college and yes, people do monumentally stupid stuff all the time. Just because it happens a lot doesn’t mean I understand it or that I don’t think they’re complete morons.
I would have loved to have had you live in one of my residence halls at Emory. (Not snark, seriously, I loved the students who took their studies and life seriously at times.)
The car cost $4500. My son paid $1500 of that and the balance was a gift from us. The vehicle is registered in his name and so is the insurance.
We’ll probably end up trying to cover the scratch with touch-up paint after the boys’ futile use of scratch remover polish. The dents will remain though.
If the car had been new or if the damage was done by a stranger, my son conceeds the outcome would be much different.
Fixing the scratch on a brand new Altima would be much easier, because it’s new it would be easy for the dealership to match the factory paint. Probably wouldn’t come out to $ 1400 unless someone was trying to gouge someone else.
I wouldn’t feel too bad about the friend’s mother looking for another quote, I’ve had sums of money go from £1300 to £300 for a bad dent and scrape.
Not sure what to make of the friend’s attitude. Maybe its worth teaching him a lesson before he learns if from someone more unforgiving than his friend?
I initially thought the OP was considering getting some guy’s together with bats and tracking down the son’s friend.
Oh the cultural divide we suffer in the realm of colloquialism.
$1400 to repair a purely cosmetic scratch on a $4500 10-year old car? I think I can understand why the other kid’s mom thought it excessive. However, I think it was good that you informed the other parent of the incident so that she realizes her kid is doing stupid things with her car creating potential liability.
In college, a buddy of mine fucked up my car, customizing it from a 4-door sedan to a 2 1/2 door sport coupe. It was a 10-year old Datsun with 80K miles, purchased for $700. We were both drunk at the time. I didn’t ask for any compensation, and in fact, sold the car to the same guy for $300 a couple of years later.
Not a cultural divide, over here “nail” is generally not used as “hold resposible for”. I actually thought it was the dad’s friend who scratched the car, not the son’s.
If this happened to me when I was in high school and my dad went over my head like this, I probably would have sold the car and given him his $3000 back.
I used ‘nail’ in the subject line to suggest an emotional response and generate some interest in the OP.
In reality what I was undecided about was the extent that the friend should be held responsible for the damage, and decide, with my son’s input, on any consequences. It is my son’s first car and he lacks experience in dealing with an accident of any severity. I figured it was my fatherly duty. The complicating factor in deciding on reperations is that the damage was done by a friend. I have no experience in such a situation and so I polled the Dopers.
My body shop told me $1500 for a scratch/gouge (heh) down the side of mine because they wanted to put in new door panels. This was when the car was relatively new. But yeah, it was more than just a scratch. And still is; cosmetic issues don’t bother me too much.
Yoy’re completely in the wrong. It’s not your car and not your place to “decide” anything. The whole thing was basically none of your business and it was tactless and graceless for you to tell your son what he is or is not allowed to forgive.
I think you need to leave it to your son to decide what he is or is not willing to forgive. A friendship is more important than a meaningless scratch in a ten-year old car. You might feel like you’re teaching him how to handle a legal matter, but there’s really more involved than that. If it was a stranger it would be one thing, but telling him that he "needed’ to present a bill to his friend is telling him that he “needs” to be tactless and graceless and place money over friendship.
I have both forgiven friends and been forgiven by friends for worse than an accidental scratch in an old car. Give him a chance to put some money in the karma bank. It will serve him better than trying to exploit a minor accident to wring a few dollars out of a friend.
