On the fourth day of blah blah my true top gave to me, 4 booty calls, three french whores, two turtle necks and some advil and bloody mary mix for me….grrl is gonna need it tomorrow.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
Green polka-dot pajamas,
And a Japanese transistor radio.
(It’s the Mark IV model. That’s the one that’s discontinued.)
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A tab of yellow sunshine LSD
As we live a life of ease (a life of ease)
Everyone of us (everyone of us) has all we need (has all we need)
Sky of blue (sky of blue) and sea of green (sea of green)
In our yellow (in our yellow) submarine (submarine, ah-ha)
We all live in a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live in a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
How’d ya like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How’d ya like to spend the holiday away across the sea?
How’d ya like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island?
How’d ya like to hang a stocking on a great big coconut tree?
The ship set ground on the shore
Of this uncharted desert isle
With Gilligan,
The Skipper too.
The millionaire
And his wife,
The movie star,
The professor and Mary Ann,
Here on Gilligan’s Isle.
I feel like Professor on Gilligan’s Island
I’m surrounded by idiots
Oh I yust go nuts at Christmas
Shopping sheer drives me berserk
On the day before I rush in a store
Like a perviveval yerk
When the crowds abound on the holidays
And you feel like throwing a fit
You can merrily
Watch them light the tree
If you’re already lit.
So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don’t stand underneath when they fly by.
When Santa shows up for the holidays
And you know he’s in on the gag.
He’s up on the roof
Full of 90 proof.
He’s always half in the bag.
Santa Baby, forgot to mention one little thing
A ring, I don’t mean on the phone
Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry…tonight.
Santa, please, come back to my chimney
Back to my chimney, back to my chimney
Santa, please, come back to my chimney
You can come back here (please do)
Santa Dog’s a Jesus fetus
Has no presents
Has no presence
In the future
It came upon the midnight clear,
That glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth,
To touch their harps of gold:
“Peace on the earth, goodwill to men
From heavens all gracious King!”
The world in solemn stillness lay
To hear the angels sing.
I can hear music
I can hear music
The sound of the city baby seems to disappear
I can hear music
Sweet sweet music
Whenever you touch me baby
Whenever you’re near
Bring your compassion
Your understanding
Lord how we need it
On this New York City Christmas
What the world needs now
Is love, sweet love
It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of
What the world needs now
Is love, sweet love
No, not just for some, just for everyone
Love came down at Christmas
Love, a lovely love divine
Love was born at Christmas
Stars and angels gave the sign
Yet with the woes of sin and strife
The world has suffered long;
Beneath the angel-strain have rolled
Two thousand years of wrong;
And man, at war with man, hears not
The love-song which they bring;
O hush the noise, ye men of strife,
And hear the angels sing.