Please, Daddy, don’t get drunk this Christmas,
I don’t want to see my Mama cry.
We’re drinking our way through the holi-daze!
Trimmin’ trees and slurrin’ our words!
Grab a fifth of gin and join on in
Christmas lights are AWESOME when your vision’s blurred!
When Santa shows up for the holidays
And you know he’s in on the gag
He’s up on the roof, filled of 90 proof
He’s always half in the bag!
Old Mr. Kringle is soon gonna jingle
The bells that’ll tingle all your troubles away
Everybody’s waiting for the man with the bag
'Cause Christmas is coming again
What does it take to be famous and powerful?
Santa, if you’re listening, please tell me what to do
What do I have to fake to be famous and powerful?
I’ve done ev’rything I can and now the rest is up to you.
I tried being good, I tried being nice
I even tried pretending I was listening once or twice
But the really big stars have made it without it
Was Bette Davis pleasant? Well, I seriously doubt it
People tried to conquer the world
Napoleon and Genghis Khan
Hitler tried and Mussolini too
Powerman don’t need to fight
Powerman don’t need no guns
Powerman got money on his side
You used to be so amused
At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls ya’, ya’ can’t refuse
When ya’ ain’t got nothin’, you got nothin’ to lose
You’re invisible now, ya’ got no secrets to conceal
Yeah the little gift you send, on Christmas day
Will not bring back the friend, you turned away
So may I suggest, the secret of Christmas (the secret of Christmas)
It’s not the things you do, at Christmas time
But the Christmas things you do all year through
What is Christmas?
Candles everywhere
A fire hazard any other day
Children light them no one seems to care
…
Why can’t Christmas disappear
and just pretend it never saw me
It’s the most wonderful time of the year
There be much miseltoeing
And hearts will be glowing
When loved ones are near
It’s the most wonderful time
Yes the most wonderful time
Oh the most wonderful time of the year
For millions of girls and for millions of boys
When Christmas Day is here
The most wonderful day of the year!
It’s Slinky; it’s Slinky.
For fun it’s a wonderful toy.
It’s fun for a girl and a boy.
Well, I talk about boys (yeah, yeah, boys)
Don’t ya know I mean boys (yeah, yeah, boys)
Well, I talk about boys, now (yeah, yeah, boys)
Aaahhh (yeah, yeah, boys)
Well, I talk about boys, now (yeah, yeah, boys)
What a bundle of joy! (yeah, yeah, boys)
Toyland, toy land
Little girl and boy land
While you dwell within it
You are ever happy there
Oh my God what’s this?
I saw the bedroom toys
Now I’m stalling
I can’t believe my eyes
I saw the bedroom toys
Now I’m crawling
I learn to improvise
Santa Claus wants some lovin’!
Santa Claus wants some lovin’ now.
Good lovin’
(Now come on and gimmie that love)
Good lovin’
(all I need is love)
Good lovin’
Good, good lovin’ baby
Good lovin’
(Lovin’ early in the mornin’)
Good lovin’
(lovin’ late at night)
Good lovin’
(love, love, love)
Good lovin’
(Love, love, love)
Santa bring on your sleigh just for me this holiday
The one I want and make my dreams come true
I’ll be good every day, I’ll put some love on layaway
And spend it all this Christmas on you
Keep Christmas with you all through the year
When Christmas is over, you can keep it near
Think of this Christmas Day
When Christmas is far away
One the 7th day of Christmas, my pisan gave to me:
Seven fresh cannoli
Six bowls of ziti
Five golden chains*
Four Seasons singing
Three muscle shirts
Two pinkie rings
And a ride in a Lamborghini
*(“Why would you wear five at once?” “Why wouldn’t you”)
The fifth Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party:
Five smoked Kielbasa!