Honest to god, I don’t think y’all need to worry that this kid’s life hasn’t had enough pain, shame, humiliation, confusion, frustration, and loss. Seriously. I suspect he’s had his share, and more, and it’s not going to get any better. Really. There are so, so many terrible things that no one will be able to fix for him–is it really absolutely required that he never, ever catch a break?
I can turn the same thing around on you.
At some point, everyone has to learn that the world is unfair and you can’t force other people to respect your values or accomplishments by making them take off an honor that they haven’t earned, whether it’s a letter jacket or an honor society pin or a combat medal.
Free expression means that people sometimes get to lie or be fakes and you have to learn that being a mature adult means you have to deal with the situation without tools of compulsion.
The question of whether the kid should wear the letter is entirely different from whether the school should care.
The answer to the second question is almost undoubtedly no.
The issue of the constitutional status of dress codes in schools is interesting. Courts frequently disagree about what is allowed, so it’s hard to give a definitive answer.
Political speech is at least somewhat protected (Tinker v. Des Moines Independent Community School District). Courts haven’t always agreed, but in general, the courts ask the questions:
- Does the dress convey a message?
- Would a reasonable observer understand this message?
A ban on weapons on clothing was overturned (a student wanted to wear an NRA shirt), while a ban on sagging jeans was upheld. A student was allowed to wear a t-shirt with George Bush that said “International Terrorist”
Outside of political speech, courts usually (but not always) give the schools more leeway
Requiring specific school uniforms are almost always upheld. A case prohibiting males from wearing earrings was upheld (due to ties to gang activities). Rules banning lewd or vulgar language are usually upheld (based on Bethel School District v. Fraser) (including in one case an anti-drug t-shirt that said “drugs suck”, due to “suck” being a vulgar term :rolleyes:). Bans on Confederate flag clothing have been upheld several times. Just a few months ago a court said that a school could ban shirts with U.S. flags
Rules about hair length (and color) have been more hit and miss, though often the courts will defer to the school. One court held that grooming regulations were justified as a “reasonable means of furthering the school board’s undeniable interest in teaching hygiene, instilling discipline, asserting authority and compelling uniformity”, which frankly sounds pretty martial, but there you go.
http://www.firstamendmentcenter.org/clothing-dress-codes-uniforms
Edit: Outside of schools, you can claim any award you want (as long as you aren’t attempting to defraud someone). The supreme court made that very clear when they struck down the Stolen Valor Act. I’d like to see a similar standard applied within schools, but schools are held to a different standard with respect to speech.
But in any of the cases, is the dress code being enforced for only certain students?
Personally, I don’t want the school worrying about the perceived social status of its students. Quite the opposite in fact.
Why can’t he wear the letter he actually DID earn?
I’m reminded of this particular piece of glurge.
We don’t know that. In fact, we don’t know that his letter didn’t look different. My husband got a letter for marching band, and it looked different from the varsity sport letters, which each looked a little different-- they were all school colors, and the same font, and incorporated the mascot, but football, basketball and wrestling and whatever other sports there were, were all distinct, plus, there was some kind of pin for the team captain.
If all the varsity letters looked alike, and this kid had a genuine-looking varsity letter, then I think maybe there’s a point, but if the mother ordered the letter off the internet, or something, I’m betting it looked different.
I’ve been in the military, and the “uniforms” people wear are actually highly personalized, with current unit patches, combat unit patches, service stripes, airborne patches, infantry disks, rank, shooting and grenade skills medals, and other, and that’s just battle uniforms-- there the ribbons and other patches and pins that go on the dress uniform. But at a glance, they just look like “stuff.”
I don’t see what’s so hard about participation letters, even freshman or JV letters that could go on the other side of the jacket, and be smaller.
What about people who letter in more than one sport? do they get two jackets, or put the letters side by side?
This is a separate question, and one neither of us have an answer to, and is totally nonresponsive to what I said. At least you quoted some glurge, though!
The “real world” in this context is not an act of nature but an act of man and society. The world that this kid grows up in is, in this context, the world that we choose to make by our own actions and values.
Someone already mentioned the five-year old Batman in San Francisco. Here’s another one. The disabled kid was signed to a one-day contract with the Maple Leafs, got his official team jersey and locker in the dressing room, and was honored on game day by doing the ceremonial puck drop in front of a packed stadium. The article doesn’t mention that he was also listed for the day on the official team roster on their website. There was no sign AFAIK of any of the professional players feeling that their “status” or their manhood was threatened by any of this.
The article also doesn’t mention that the Leafs, which have been totally tanking for the last couple of months, won the game they played that day, and it was against one of the better teams. I call it karma.
So the jocks aren’t going to be adored as much by all the girls because the special needs kid is wearing a letter? You really believe that?
Sure–and this is not that moment, since he can get what he wants. Honestly, if I never see this bullshit argument trotted out again by supposedly well-meaning adults as an excuse to make a kid miserable, it’ll be too soon. As Manda Jo says, this kid has undoubtedly encountered this lesson a million times more in his life than you ever have. Cut him some slack.
This isn’t so much about free speech as it is “school as caretaker of its awards.” Say I am a member of the local Elks club and the club awards 2014’s Greatest Achievement Award and gives the winning member a lapel pin. I don’t win the award, but I buy one and wear it to the meetings on my lapel.
Should the club: 1) have a right to tell me not to wear it, and 2) enforce that rule with club discipline? I think the answer to both questions is yes. In this context, the school is no different. It is not acting as government suppressing unpopular speech. It is acting as the caretaker of the particular award (varsity letters) and telling its members (the students) that they cannot wear letters in school that they did not earn. That is a very different thing.
Further, if they are going to give an award (whether you agree that this particular award is large or small) I think that they owe a duty to the recipients of these awards to make sure that such a thing is respected insofar that it can. Of course, I feel sorry for this kid who is likely a pawn of his mother’s, but it still doesn’t change the fact that he failed to meet the qualifications for getting a letter, and shouldn’t be entitled to act like he did receive one.
[QUOTE=Stratocaster]
So the Varsity player who rode the bench should give his letter back?
[/QUOTE]
What are the rules for being awarded a letter? In my high school, you had to play so many minutes to letter in sports (sports without a time clock had different rules). Just making the team wasn’t enough. I don’t have an opinion one way or the other, but if the rule says “making the varsity team” gets you a letter, then the benchwarmer wins the award, and the kid playing on a special ed team, or the JV team doesn’t.
The HS I went to awarded Varsity and JV (Junior Varsity) letters. The JV ones were smaller. Smallest were the ones awarded to middle school participants in sport.
To obtain a Varsity letter, you would try out for the Varsity team. If you made it and completed the season, you got a letter. That’s an accomplishment, sort of like being cast for a role in a theater production or playing as a member of an orchestra.
I’d be inclined to give the kid a special needs letter. The kid isn’t on the Varsity, JV or middle school team.
Overall, I’m frankly a little embarrassed for the special needs kid. The situation seems unfortunate.
In Japan, you can earn a Shotokan black belt in about a year of training. It isn’t considered a big deal and it wasn’t considered a big deal 25 years ago. I understand that some earn a black belt in gym. Also, upon earning your black belt you are considered a beginner.
I’m unclear on Japanese Judo traditions, though I suspect they are somewhat more difficult, though not egregiously so. I understand Aikido black belts are more difficult to acquire in Japan, but I’m not certain.
Oh please. Pro-sports teams do things like this all time. They’re honorary, and pretty much everyone knows that they’re not changing the team rules so the kid can actually be a real, true member of the team. If the kid wanted his name engraved on the Stanley Cup, it would be something else entirely.
Guin, with all due respect, obviously you’re not the parent of a special needs child, and have probably never spent any serious time with a special needs child. And this kid is on the team that he can participate in, did participate in and can’t qualify to letter in no matter how good he is. Probably like his special needs class that would take a miracle to get out of and into the mainstream. He’s not a self entitled brat , and he’s got a much tougher row to hoe than you can ever possible imagine. Mandy Jo pretty much nailed it.
One can search on autism + football + touchdown. Here’s one clip.
Shodan, I have a second degree Kenpo Karate brown belt that took me 4 years to earn in the era before strip malls. And I’m damn proud of that accomplishment. You can probably buy one on line these days and certainly can find a strip mall dojo where you could get one in a year. When you spar, do the kata, do a competition or a street fight, no one gives a fuck what your rank is and it will be painfully obvious who has earned their belt and who bought it. Heck, even when I was doing Kenpo 30+ years ago, it took 1-2 years to earn a Taekwando first degree black belt if you worked at it. It was a different bar. There isn’t and never has been a universal “black belt” ranking. Nothing cheapens my rank, the sensei that taught me, the sense of accomplishment, regardless if someone else can get it with a box of cracker jacks. YMMV.
Did you not read that he IS able to letter? Just not a varsity one.
(emphasis added). You said it all in your post. He cannot qualify for a letter. Therefore, he shouldn’t wear one.
Obviously he will never win a Nobel Prize no matter how hard he tries in his classes. That doesn’t mean (and I don’t think that anyone believes) we should hand him one.
The common theme in this thread is the assumption that letters are not that big of a deal, so why not just give the kid one. Well, whether or not the award of a letter is a large or small honor, it is an honor nonetheless that signifies that the recipient has met certain minimum qualifications. To grant them to people who didn’t meet the qualifications necessarily diminishes the award for those who did earn them.
What about a kid who doesn’t have a disability, but he is smallish and a bookworm? He really tries to make the team, but he doesn’t. Should he get a letter? I’m not unsympathetic to this kid’s disability, but this line of thought turns all awards (with the possible exception of major awards like a Nobel Prize) will be turned into participation certificates. That disrespects the accomplishments of those who earn the award.
Fair enough, but I don’t think anyone here has bad intentions. The posters here, even those who oppose the wearing of the jacket, are still arguing for what they believe is in the student’s best interest; they merely think that what is best is not what he (or what his mother) wants.
But the difference is that saying “tough luck” is in accordance with the real world. The problem of people who fake credentials, be they sports, academic, or otherwise, is not a particularly common or pressing problem. The problem of people who refuse to acknowledge that they can’t always get what they want is commonplace, and therefore attention should appropriately be focused to that issue.
I don’t know why schools should be unconcerned with the wellbeing of some of their students. The school should appropriately be promoting what is best for all their students, not ignoring or actively hurting those who have high social standing.
That’s a fair point, and I could see a meaningful argument being made for that. But that’s not the debate we’re having here, because this isn’t about whether we should embark on a massive project to alter society to be more accommodating to those with different needs. Its a debate about a singular instance of conflict at a single school that is unlikely to occur elsewhere, and that’s why aspirations about changing society are misplaced. If we do want to make society more accommodating this would be a very poor vehicle for doing so because of its very narrow scope.
For what its worth, there comparison to professional sports is poor, because the dichotomy between the real athletes and accommodated athlete is much larger. In one case, you have professional adults with a special needs child, and in the other you have amateur high school athletes with an amateur special needs athlete. And at the margin, yes, letting someone unqualified share in a status symbol does reduce the value of it. Perhaps not very much, but it does to some capacity, and thus the student’s actions have harmful effects on other students that need to be taken into account.
For what it’s worth, I don’t think this kid is being a “brat”. I think MOM is being a brat.
WE agree to disagree. That said, Who else but the parents that stand up for their child? IMHO it’s the mom that complained that’s the brat and more so the school are um kinda being dickish.
jtgain - the goalposts aren’t fair. Look, we all know life sucks and then you die Hobbseian view of the world. You buy it or you don’t. You buy into sports is also about sportsmanshipor you don’t. You buy into real men always compete to win, unless it’s against a child. Ad nauseum
And I hope you have a big enough heart to love that special needs child that comes into your life. You do know that autism rates in the US now is one in 68, one in 42 for boys, and one in 6 for special needs don’t you?
Letters have been for sale since forever. You can’t tell me a wealthy parent with generous donations couldn’t get his kid “qualified on the team” for a varsity letter? Certainly in my high school that took place. Oh, I mean, Dad became an assistant couch because of his mad skilz, not because he bought the entire team football uniforms so his son could make the cut? But wait, oh oh oh, somehow a varsity letter is sacrosanct but a special needs kid on the special needs sports program (separate but equal) doesn’t make the bar?
The school could make it easy by putting a program into place, but Jesus H Christ, it’s fucking high school sports and not the bar exam sheeple. Rant over before I get warned.
What about the kids on the JV team? They can’t get a varsity letter either – should they feel like they’re “separate but equal?” (Seriously dude, that’s the second time that term has been used here)