You may jest, but some people do actually put garlic in their wine - mostly as a novelty at such events as the Isle of Wight Garlic Festival - I remember seeing a bunch of people sitting down to a garlic themed meal accompanied by glasses of red wine, each with a clove of garlic floating in it.
Dessert was garlic ice cream.
Do I truly need to discuss the state of your pants at the time? I think you might have had other things on your mind.
Um, I think you should!
Well, I suppose, except wassail made with apple cider is mulled cider, not wassail. Wassail is usually made with wine (which makes it identical to mulled wine), but is traditionally made with ale.
Google “glogg”