Well, it’s not out yet, and probably nobody has any idea what’s in it, but that doesn’t mean we can’t spoil it anyway. So, here goes:
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The remaining horcruxes include a sled, a falcon statue, a cookbook, and a briefcase.
Harry and Hermione are fraternal twins separated at birth.
The Death Eaters are taken down by a bunch of house elves.
Harry kills Voldemort using a sneetch.
Harry wakes up and finds out it was all a dream.
Anyone else wanna play?
At the end of the movie, Harry sails off into the west on a magical boat.
Some resourceful pranksters will replace the entire first run of the book with online slashfic. Children the world over will be traumatized by poorly written, unintentionally hilarious accounts of Harry and Snape’s forbidden love.
Due to budget considerations, the movie version will be shot entirely on green-screen in Vancouver. All parts will be played by Angela Lansbury and John Leguizamo.
Ron is Dumbledore as a boy, who then travels backward in time to mentor Harry.
Tonks and Ginny get it on.
Voldemort is vanquished when Fawkes flies into Harry’s scar; *2001-*like revelations ensue.
Mr Weasley is actually a Deatheater. Mrs Weasley is actually Percy in disguise, and the real Mrs Weasley is at the bottom of the English Channel.
“I am Lord Harry” is revealed as an anagram for “HARDY ORAL RIM.”
Snape didn’t kill Dumbledore…
Dumbledore killed Snape!
Voldemort is defeated by losing his magic powers. Humiliated, he is banished to the muggle world. Surprisingly, he becomes quite adept at it, and becomes a ruthless business tycoon, putting himself in a position of immense world power. And then he blows his entire fortune on outrageous bets at the race track. He eventually winds up in an old folks home and bores the others with ridiculous stories of his younger days as the most powerful wizard in the world.
[w. apologies to Bruce Willis]
:eek: , Harry was dead the whole time!