EyeballBoy:
http://www.cleanrite.com/html/biffy.htm
Cheap and no remodelling necessary 
Well I used to be a stand a wiper butt, I have had to alter my wind-up just a little bit and here is why. I played college athletics all four years and we had an open bathroom with no doors on the stalls. now if you can imagine what it would do to the others in the locker room if I was to stand and give them updates as to my progress.
so from then on I just got used to sitting down and figured it out that way. I have been a sitter ever since. I have tried to go back a few times just for old times, butt it just doesn’t feel right anymore…we’ve just grown too far apart
I’m a stand-and-reach. I had assumed other people wiped when stting, and sometimes thought I was doing it the ‘wrong’ way but with my own anatomy down there (more specifically the hiruste nature of it) I could be wiping my ass standing on my head and it still wouldn’t make it any easier. I have made several attempts at the sitting method, but it just never worked for me.
I challenge someone to take a glob of peanut butter, slap it in their hair, then try and wipe it all out with toilet paper. This is basically the equivalent of what I have to go through nearly every time I defecate. In order to avoid leaving any offending marks on my tighty-whities, I often have to wipe to the point of getting somewhat raw. Not to mention having to rip out clumps of hair growing out of VERY delicate areas because thats simply the only way the damn stuff is coming out. The easiest way for me to deal with this problem is to simply jump in the shower immediately afterward and hose myself down.
Having a bidet actually sounds interesting becasue for me it might be the only non-painful way for me to do a thourough job 
Incubus: get the thing I linked to. It revolutionized my life.
2 things:
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My fiance, who is currently in nursing school, works as a nurse’s assistant, and unfortunately has to help other people wipe when the occasion arises, said the proper wiping method as taught by trained medical professionals is to go “from clean to dirty,” meaning that one should not smear their feces from their bung hole outward, regardless of direction. Since I have had zero problems with infection do to improper wiping, I don’t worry about it.
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Bidets. How the hell does one keep from getting water everywhere when giving oneself what I would equate with a low-pressure enema?
First off, you don’t put the water pressure that hard! Second, you’re sitting down, and the nozzle isn’t that far away, and it’s not like it sprays out in a huge fan shape. You do get parts of your ass cheeks wet, but you dry them with TP. You end up using a LOT less TP drying off your ass than you would wiping the shit off of it.
Ah yes, bidets . . . I never considered those. Once I own my own house, I will definitely install one. It shall become the pride of all of my household plumbing fixtures! Maybe during the summer I’ll snake a garden hose through the window and call it my “American Bidet.”
As far as EyeballBoy’s “filthy Americans” comment mentioned above, I must retort! Yes our bungs may be feces-laden, but we take advantage of toiletries such as deoderant and cologne, so that we do not stink like the homeless.
Oh yeah, and the bidet could also be used as a drinking fountain the rest of the time! Hooray!
Here is a much-anticipated update on my wiping habits, as they have been modified as a result of this very thread.
First of all, I still remain firmly in the “stand-up” camp, and have also started seeing a woman who shares in this practice. She is my soul mate; I believe that people who agree on such fundamental levels are naturally drawn to each other.
But the recent development in my wiping habits refers to a comment made previously by lovejoy. He commented that his wiping style incorporated the dipping of wadded toilet paper into the toilet bowl water to create a more effective wiping utensil in the event of clinging terds (creating something similar to a moist towelette).
When I read his post, I thought his technique to be disgusting. Touching your anus with filthy bacteria-infested toilet water? No way! But since, I have had certain revelations in my own life that have made me feel otherwise.
A few months ago I entered a phase in which wiping after defecating was consistently an arduous task. I found that even after wiping until no “residue” could be found on the toilet paper, I would feel uncomfortable all day long. Over time, I figured out that wiping without the aid of moisturized toilet paper was the problem.
So, to make a long story slightly less long, I now incorporate lovejoy’s dipping method. I do, however, flush before I dip, or else that would be quite disgusting, So, inherently, this wiping style involves more than one flush (for those of you that oppose such wasteful practices). It is still somewhat disgusting, but the toilets here at work appear to be quite clean, and it’s not like your bunghole isn’t already covered in dookie anyway.
So there you have it. I condone this practice, and I advise that you all take its use into consideration.
yup.
For many years, I was of the reach around camp, but then one day, I broke my back and spent the next six months in a proximal clamshell, thereby preventing use of the method I’d learnt as a mere prat.
The only means by which paper and butthole could play was via the frontal modified equipment lift two handed backhoe method.
So now, just shy of half a century old, I can proclaim myself to be an ambidextrous wiper, able to be freed of poop no matter what.
Bows to the roaring applause, picks up a magazine, and heads for the necessary room, whistling “Hi-ho, hi-ho, to take a dump I go” confident of success.