Standards for lateness: a poll

In My Humble Opinion
1

Assume, for all scenarios, you have a pretty good and truly unforeseeable reason for being late. You got behind a wreck on the highway, for instance.

  1. You’re meeting friends for dinner, and you realize you’re going to be late. (You don’t have reservations, and you’re not doing anything time-sensitive afterwards like a movie.) How late would you have to be before you felt obligated to call and tell them? If you’re the one waiting, at what point do you call them and ask where they are?

  2. Same questions, except that it’s a business meeting in the middle of the workday. It’s a meeting of equals, so no one is going to get fired over it.

  3. You have a doctor’s appointment. How late would you expect to be able to be and still have them honor your appointment?

  4. For those of us aged enough to remember life before cell phones, what would you have said back then?

I’ll give my answers a little later.

2

I’d say 15 minutes for 1-3. Anything under that could simply be clocks/watches set differently. Anything more than that is an inconvenience.

3

  1. Five to ten minutes, at most before I call them if I’m the one late. I can’t stand lateness. However, knowing that most of my friends are less anal-retentive about it than I am, I’d give them about fifteen minutes before calling if I was waiting for them. Also, pretty irrelevant, but I’d probably text rather than call.

  2. Any more than five minutes for a business meeting and I’d call to say I was running late. That’s just basic respect for your colleagues. Similarly, I’d give about ten minutes before calling the late party.

  3. If they’re the type of practice that respects appointment times: not very. Otherwise: well, what goes around comes around. I saw an ophthalmologist who was routinely running several hours late. When the same thing happened for my second appointment with him I walked out and decided I’d find a different guy, but if he was my only option, I’d have no hesitation about strolling in half an hour to an hour after the scheduled appointment. On the other hand, the orthodontist I saw as a kid was ridiculously punctual, and without fail you’d be in a chair within ten minutes of your appointment time. For someone like him, I’d call if I was so much as five minutes late.

  4. Life without cell phones? Was that, like, when there were dinosaurs and stuff?

4

  1. As soon as I confirmed traffic info that suggests I’m going to be late, I make the call.

  2. Same as previous.

  3. As soon as I figure out exactly how late I’m going to be, or at the actual time of my appointment; whichever comes first.

  4. In scenarios 1 and 2, I pull off the freeway and find a payphone as soon as it makes sense to do so. In scenario 3, I get there when I can and hope they can still squeeze me in.

5

  1. You’re meeting friends for dinner, and you realize you’re going to be late. (You don’t have reservations, and you’re not doing anything time-sensitive afterwards like a movie.) How late would you have to be before you felt obligated to call and tell them? I’d call as soon as I realized I was behind schedule. Say five minutes. If you’re the one waiting, at what point do you call them and ask where they are? Ten minutes.

  2. Same questions, except that it’s a business meeting in the middle of the workday. It’s a meeting of equals, so no one is going to get fired over it. Five minutes. Of course, those slack bastards would still be getting their coffee.

  3. You have a doctor’s appointment. How late would you expect to be able to be and still have them honor your appointment? Five minutes.

  4. For those of us aged enough to remember life before cell phones, what would you have said back then? If I thought I was going to be ten minutes late or more, pull over and call.

6

My answers:

  1. Both ways, fifteen minutes. I would expect my friends to call me if they’re fifteen minutes late, but I probably wouldn’t get pissed off for thirty.

  2. If I’m not going to be there at the stroke of the meeting, I call. People schedule their workdays pretty tightly, and while starting this meeting ten minutes late might not be a big deal, starting the next one late might be. I would totally expect the same from my colleagues.

  3. Ten or fifteen minutes, though if it’s really packed tight or the end of the day I wouldn’t think it was unreasonable to ask me to reschedule if I wasn’t there right on time. (I’m assuming that the doctor is running on time, because I’m sure it has happened once or twice, somewhere.)

  4. I don’t think my standards are that much tighter than they were before.

I expect the punctual folks to respond, but I’ve known enough people in my life who think nothing of showing up for dinner at 7:00 when we said 6:00 that some of them have to be reading this forum. I also know plenty of people show up to their doctor’s appointments an hour late and expect to be seen. Fess up! I’m not here to judge–I’m trying to understand.

7

  1. I call after fifteen minutes, if a friend is late and I’m waiting. As soon as I realize I’m going to be late, I call. But for friends and for an emergency event, I think fifteen minutes isn’t too big of a deal.

  2. I wait five minutes before calling and checking where my missing meeting-mate is. I call as soon as I know I’ll be late and if it’s going to be over fifteen minutes past our original meeting time, I’ll ask if they would like to reschedule.

  3. Ten minutes early. My doctor’s office has signs all over the place that say if you haven’t checked in by your exact appointment time, you’ll have to reschedule.

  4. 15 minutes, same deal. If you’re going to be late, the burden is on you to call and let people know. Find a payphone.

8

1. You’re meeting friends for dinner, and you realize you’re going to be late. (You don’t have reservations, and you’re not doing anything time-sensitive afterwards like a movie.) How late would you have to be before you felt obligated to call and tell them?
15 minutes.

If you’re the one waiting, at what point do you call them and ask where they are?
30 minutes.

2. Same questions, except that it’s a business meeting in the middle of the workday. It’s a meeting of equals, so no one is going to get fired over it.
If I’m unavoidably late for a meeting in the middle of the workday, I’m also unable to get to a phone. So I get to the meeting as soon as I can and apologize when I arrive.

3. You have a doctor’s appointment. How late would you expect to be able to be and still have them honor your appointment?
5 minutes. It’s their written policy. I don’t think it matters if you call or not.

4. For those of us aged enough to remember life before cell phones, what would you have said back then?
Before cell phones there was no way for me to tell someone that I was running late. Even if I did find a pay phone or something, where/who would I call? None of my friends would have a cell phone, either. The only thing I can think of would be if we had reservations at a restaurant, I could try to call the restaurant and ask them to let my party know I was late. But the scenario in the OP says no reservations, so at best I could leave a message on someone’s answering machine.

As for being the one waiting, I’d probably just leave after 30 minutes.

9

I’d call as soon as I knew I might be even a few minutes late, in any circumstances. If I’m the one waiting, I’d want to know right away – saves on toe-tapping and stress.

Before cell phones though, if I was on the road, I’d probably not start looking for a phone booth unless I was going to be at least an hour late.

For a doctor’s appointment, I wouldn’t expect them to hold my appointment at all. If they can, fine, but if not, I’ll just reschedule. Unless I’m really sick.

10
  1. You’re meeting friends for dinner, and you realize you’re going to be late. (You don’t have reservations, and you’re not doing anything time-sensitive afterwards like a movie.) How late would you have to be before you felt obligated to call and tell them? If you’re the one waiting, at what point do you call them and ask where they are?

a. As soon as I realize I’m not going to be on time.
b. 15 minutes.

  1. Same questions, except that it’s a business meeting in the middle of the workday. It’s a meeting of equals, so no one is going to get fired over it.

a. As soon as I realize I’m not going to be on time.
b. When the meeting starts.

  1. You have a doctor’s appointment. How late would you expect to be able to be and still have them honor your appointment?

15 minutes… but I’d call and let them know I’m late.

  1. For those of us aged enough to remember life before cell phones, what would you have said back then?

About the same.

11

First of all, I hate, hate, HATE people that are late. I have a few friends that are perpetually 45 minutes late, minimum. It’s one thing if we’re just hanging out around the house, but if we’re making dinner or going somewhere that is time sensitive, this is INCREDIBLY annoying. Because of this fact, I don’t invite these people to go out with us nearly as much anymore.

  1. You’re meeting friends for dinner, and you realize you’re going to be late. (You don’t have reservations, and you’re not doing anything time-sensitive afterwards like a movie.) How late would you have to be before you felt obligated to call and tell them? If you’re the one waiting, at what point do you call them and ask where they are?

**As soon as it was 10 minutes before I was supposed to be there and I realized I was more than 10 minutes away, I’d call and let them know my estimated arrival time. Maybe tell them to order drinks or something- or if it’s a place we’ve been, let them know what to order for me.

If they are more than 15 minutes late, I’ll call. **

  1. Same questions, except that it’s a business meeting in the middle of the workday. It’s a meeting of equals, so no one is going to get fired over it.

Same as above. The minute I realize I’m going to be late, even just a few minutes, I’d call.

  1. You have a doctor’s appointment. How late would you expect to be able to be and still have them honor your appointment?
    10 minutes, 15 at the most.

  2. For those of us aged enough to remember life before cell phones, what would you have said back then?

**I’m 21, so allow me to ask: there was a time before cell phones? ** :eek:

:wink:

12

I’d call if I suspect I’m going to be 10-15 minutes late or more.

If my precense is necessary, I’d call as soon as I realise I won’t make it in time.

If I’m one minute late, I wouldn’t expect them to honor my appointment.

I remember those days, but perhaps because I’m from the land of the ice and snow, I honestly don’t understand this question.

13

Exactly. Every group of friends has these pepole. I can think of a dozen of them off the top of my head. Where are they? (I guess it’s to be expected that they’d be the last ones to show up in the thread. :slight_smile: )

Also, for my question #4 above: assume you have the phone number of the restaurant, the meeting room, or the doctor’s office, and that there are plenty of convenient pay phones you could pull over at. Of course, pulling over to call means you’re going to be that much later, but such were our dilemmas back before the Earth cooled.

14

  1. About 15 minutes. It depends on where we’re meeting. One of my favorite spots is very hard to find parking at and because of the one way streets, it can take a long time to find parking.

  2. Being more than 5 minutes late for a business meeting warrants a phone call if at all possible. Hopefully, the other person would be aware of any severe thunderstorms or weather related delays.

  3. I’d expect to be there 15 minutes early.

  4. I wasn’t an adult before cell phones.

15

Couldn’t you just catch a ride on a pterodactyl or something? :smiley:

16

1. You’re meeting friends for dinner, and you realize you’re going to be late. (You don’t have reservations, and you’re not doing anything time-sensitive afterwards like a movie.) How late would you have to be before you felt obligated to call and tell them? If you’re the one waiting, at what point do you call them and ask where they are?

As soon as I know - or even suspect - that I might be late, I call and give folks the heads up. If it’s going to be close, maybe 5 minutes off, maybe not.

2. Same questions, except that it’s a business meeting in the middle of the workday. It’s a meeting of equals, so no one is going to get fired over it.

In my line of work, people tend to get started regardless of who’s there or not. If I had a major role to play in the meeting - say I called it, or I’m presenting, again, I call as soon as I know or suspect that I’ll be late. If it’s a regular meeting, I definitely try to call a little before it starts. I don’t want to call during the meeting, that’s distracting.

3. You have a doctor’s appointment. How late would you expect to be able to be and still have them honor your appointment?

Five minutes, or even ten. More than that without a call, I’d expect to reschedule.

4. For those of us aged enough to remember life before cell phones, what would you have said back then?

I just used to run to meetings out of breath, squeal “sorryimlate!” and try to blend in the background. I don’t think we had such elaborate meeting rituals before cell phones, because you agreed to meet somewhere at a certain time, and that would be it. If you were 15 minutes late either you got caught up in something at work, there was bad traffic, or you were just a jerk!
I’ll give my answers a little later.
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17

  1. 14 minutes

  2. 12 minutes

  3. 13 minutes

  4. Pre-cell phones, I had the same time for #3, but #1 was 22 minutes, while #2 was 17 minutes.

18

For any situation, if I have a set time where I’m supposed to be somewhere and I expect to be any more than 5 minutes late (10 at the absolute most), I will call to inform.

19

Ditto

20

I think 15 minutes is fair for all of those. If the doc had taken the next patient I would understand as long as I was added to the queue. If told to come a different day … well that’s never happened.