Dunno what this was… but it wasn’t a Star Wars film. It had the SW iconography, the patented names and props… but it was little more than an exercise in fan service and playing it safe. ‘Generation ADD’ might have liked it (what don’t they like? :rolleyes:). But if the early feedback from so called ‘original trilogy fans’ is anything to go by, The Force Awakens will go down in infamy.
(The characters)
Rey - Mary Sue in god mode. Can do everything and anything. Force training to acquire skills, you say? Phewy! to that antiquated, pahllocentric mode of progression! Supergirl can do as she pleases, when she pleases! Girl power! 
Finn – I was sceptical of all the a furore surrounding the purportedly shoehorned, ‘affirmative action’ nature of Boyega’s casting. But after seeing the film, I do have to say that, if anything, the character re-enforces the stereotypes his presence was there to debunk. A coward. A lecher. A buffoon… A literal ‘foibles of Solo and Jar Jar Binks hybrid’. But he got the girl in the end, so all is forgiven… :rolleyes:
Kylo – What an embarrassment. Is the Vader gene pool really this polluted, that it spawns one angsty, petulant, emo nitwit after the other?! Why were none of these traits ever even hinted at in the OT? Could they have not at least cast a more imposing figure than the asymmetrical beanstalk, Adam Driver? Why did he take his mask off? Why are the only prerequisites for casting Vader lineage the actor’s height and a mullet?! :dubious:
Solo – Not at his best. But compared to the parade of YA B-listers, Ford was worth the ridiculous £23 million Disney threw at him (…relatively speaking).
Fisher – Frail and craggy. The years have been cruel indeed to Carrie.
Hamill – Nice green screen cameo! lol
Narrative – Star Wars Episode VII: An Old Hope – Bigger and More Bad-ass!
Script – Sand is course and rough and, frankly, I don’t like it!
Dialogue – Meesa steepa ins the doo-doo… again!
What it did for the SW mythology – ♪♫ A-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y nuffin! Say it again, yeah…! ♪♫
I thought VII came after VI, not after IV, with a decimal point preceding it…? Seems Jar Jar Abrams and his plagiaristic ways will not be denied. If it’s good enough to reheat, it’s good enough to serve to the drooling masses! 5/10