Starting Menopause - Looking for Experiences Please (Possible TMI)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Disclaimer: I saw my doctor earlier this week and am under her treatment so this isn’t a request for medical advice. What I’m looking for are the experiences of Dopers here who have gone or are going through the change (or as I like to think of it, changing one pain in the ass for another).

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve often said that I’ll be damned happy when I go through menopause. I started menstruating at age 10 so I figured I’d done my penance and looked forward to the day when I wouldn’t have to deal with monthly bleeding, cramps and mood swings (not to mention zits). During the past year, as my periods got heavier and more painful (a lot more painful), I was more than ready to be done with this mess. Last year, I learned that I have cysts on my ovaries and fibroids in my uterus, which made things a lot more interesting.

But despite all the changes, I was still as regular as clockwork. Until the past six months or so. My periods started being a few days early or late and sometimes right on time. That is until earlier this month when I didn’t have a period at all. What I did have was a sort of mucusy bloody discharge but not enough to warrant even using a tampon or pad and barely just a panty liner. A few weeks of this and I decided it’d be best to see my gynecologist. So I did and she said that it looks like I’m starting menopause, even though I’m younger than average (I’m 45).

She’s scheduled all kinds of tests like a full blood work, an ultrasound to check on the cysts and fibroids along with other fun like getting my boobs squished again and a colonoscopy (my mother had colon cancer). I’m wondering how in the hell I’m going to be able to pay for all of this. One test she brought up has me alarmed. She said, “If the bloody mucus doesn’t stop soon, I want to do an endometrial biopsy. It’s painful.” Great. I believe there’s been a thread or two here about how much that hurts. To be perfectly honest, I haven’t decided if I’ll consent to the biopsy at this point. My decision is resting on the results of my pap and the availability of any pain pills prior to the procedure (she said I could take Motrin or Advil prior to having it done…yeah, right).

My mom went through menopause in her late 40s but since I was only about 11 years old at the time, I never really knew what it was like for her (and as I got older, it just never occurred to me to ask her). She died in 2001 and most of my friends are too young to ask for their experiences so I’m looking to those of you who have gone through this to tell me about your experiences, from those weird moods swings where you suddenly feel like wanting to snap someone’s head off (my doc put me on Wellbutrin at my request) to the weird bodily changes. Has anyone else had that annoying discharge? Oh, and hey, I always wanted a mustache. Thank God I have blonde, well, graying hair.

I freely confess I’m looking for the reassurance that this will pass and I’m not actually losing my mind and that my uterus isn’t going to fall out of my body. Thanks in advance.

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The whole process varies a LOT from one woman to another. Some have nary a symptom except no more menstruation (Yay!), others find it quite annoying.

I’m sure you’ve read about “hot flashes” or “hot flushes.” My experience was that these were dam annoying. I would wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, sheets all damp, and it wasn’t from having a little fun with the hubby in my sleep, either. Then of course the next day being all tired from the disruption made me somewhat cranky. It can be both annoying and embarrassing to be at work (99% of my co-workers were young males) and suddently become re-faced and damp for no apparent reason.

I was not especially bothered by mood swings and the like, at least any more than before.

At the time the risks of hormone replacement therapy were not known; it was actually thought that it was good for one’s heart and bones. I had some other uterine issues, and was minus one ovary because of an earlier possible cancerous thing, and my desire for more children was absolutely zero, so in consultation with my doctor I had the rest of the equipment removed and went on HRT. Since I no longer had a uterus, I could take the all-estrogen pill, not the one with progesterone, so there was a much lower risk of breast cancer issues. I liked the result just fine.

After several years when more of the HRT risks became public, my doctor and I decided it would be a good time to stop that prescription. I very occasionally get a mild version of a hot flash, but it is not really obvious or that disruptive, I’m just taking off or putting on a sweater sometimes.

IMHO another test you should consider now is a baseline bone density test. As we get older the risk of osteoporosis becomes greater and it’s helpful to doctors to know what shape your bones are in now.

Your doctor should be able to provide or recommend literature on the process.

And good for you that you’re getting a full checkup to be sure it’s “just” menopause and not something dangerous.

<lame humor attempt>
Ever notice how most of our problems start with men? MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal illness…

If men had periods, menopause would have a sacrament associated with it.
</lame humor>

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Thanks for responding, MLS, though I’m surprised yours is the lone voice. It’s appreciated though. :slight_smile: I usually kill threads, it seems, so any reply is always a surprise.

The bone density test is the one test she didn’t mention though she did ask about family history. Since my mom broke her hip after a fall, I’m sure she’ll be suggesting the test at some point. As for HRT, at this point, I’m not having any major problems. Yeah, I have some mood swings and some hot flashes but it’s not consuming my life. So long as I can deal with them, I don’t think she’ll put me on HRT.

In my own attempt at lame humor, I’ve always said that if men had to get their balls squished like we women have to get our boobs squished, you can be damn sure there’d be a better, less painful test.

But in fairness, my husband has been very supportive and understanding, even in the face of my sometimes unreasonable moods. And I’ll be very understanding when he finally goes and has his prostrate examination. :wink:

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On the endometrial biopsy: I had one of those two years ago and awaited it in a state of dread, having heard it was a horrid experience.

Nope, it was nothin’!!! It took almost no time at all and hardly even hurt - just a little bit of weird discomfort for a minute or two. Really really really NOT a big deal.

I hope you get lucky and have an easy experience. Try not to worry in any case; it won’t change anything.

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Gah, don’t get me started on how little the medical profession tells women about menopause. Perimenopause, the preliminaries to the actual event, can start as young as 35. MLS is right, each individual’s symptoms vary, sometimes wildly (heh–there’s -my- lame attempt at humor). Hot flashes haven’t bothered me all that much, but the mood swings … watch out!

When I was about 44-45, my periods had gotten very heavy and crampy, so I really was looking forward to not having them any longer. I didn’t stop altogether, though, until I was 51-52; you’re considered menopausal, btw, when you go a full year without a period.

Good luck to you, Little Wing; I’m glad that your hubby is supportive. Hang in there! :slight_smile:

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Nitpick: It’s “prostate,” not “prostrate.”

Uterine biopsy, for me, was awful. Nevertheless, it’s a whole lot better than dying of cancer or some other thing that could have been cured if found earlier. And less expensive.

And yes, if it’s just plain old perimenopause, just remember “This, too, shall pass.” If symptoms get bad, some doctors these days think it’s o.k. to be on HRT for a short time. YMMV, IANAD, etc.

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Hot flashes and night sweats now for going on two years (I’m 43) and while my periods arrive pretty much on schedule, they are starting to get weird. Some months I barely need a panty liner; other months I have to think carefully about whether getting out of the bathroom at all is a good idea. I’m not having mood swings so much anymore… I’m having mood plummets and have resigned myself to having a week of unrelieved rage just before my period starts. And the hormonal migraines I’ve had since I was 30 on day two of each period have now expanded to day three, too. Whee.

When my doctor said I was starting perimenopause, I asked if I wasn’t still a bit young for that. He said it can start as young as the mid-30s, and asked me about my family history, mother and grandmother - and I realized no one in my family has HAD a uterus as long as I have! Gram had a hysterectomy at 36, Mom at 38, and I’m the eldest in my generation, so I’m in uncharted territory here. I’m not really using my uterus anymore, but there’s a history of breast cancer in my family that may be linked to hormone replacement therapy and/or the mismanagement thereof, so it was decided that we wouldn’t mess with my body’s own timetable unless something drastic happens.

8

I started getting the irregular periods at 49.

It was HELL. Extreme fatigue was the biggest symptom along with moderate weigth gain and maximal PMDD. The symptoms were at their worse during the time my periods were delayed…They were coming about six weeks apart and the last two weeks were the worse. I never thought I’d look forward to my periods but they became sweet relief from the psychological nightmare.

I also had bad night sweats and some hot flashes,along with hot feet (extreme feeling of heat in the feet and lower extremities at night). But these symptoms were nothing compared to the fatigue and PMDD.

I took the YAZ pill for 2 years then, when I was firmly declared menopausal, switched to HRT. A new one, Enjuva, which is a prescription version of “bioidentical hormones” along with progesterone. It makes a difference, I would rob a drugstore to get my hormones if it ever became the only way.

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I don’t really have much to add, but I wanted to chime in my little bit. I have been wondering about myself. I had a full exam late last summer and was quite healthy (other than HPV, but that’s probably another thread). However, in the last six to eight months, I have maybe had a period twice, very lightly, for two days at a time. I have no mood swings, no sweats, no weight gain, though I canNOT lose this 20 pounds or so. So if this is perimenopause, I’ll take it!

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I’m still definitely peri – my periods are really irregular (checks calender) with the last being about four months ago, and sometimes I’ll have just a half day or day of flow (too heavy to call spotting, but too brief to call a period). No sign of hot flashes yet, no mood swings, etc. – and the weight gain happened a few years ago when I quit smoking.

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Gah. Thanks for the correction on prostate, MLS. That’s what I get for relying only on spell checker. :wink:

I forgot to add my gripe about not being able to lose weight. We got a five month old yellow lab puppy back in March and since he was pretty much out of control from the previous owners, we took him to obedience classes. Part of training is a lot of walking so I went from sitting on my butt (I know, I know) to walking him at least five days a week. I’d worked myself up to a mile a day, which is good considering I wasn’t exercising at all, I have bad knees and I’m trying to quit smoking. Two months of this and I never lost one freaking pound. Talk about discouraging. Add that to the scary bad moods and the extreme fatigue that accidentalyuppie mentioned and it’s been a lot of fun around the Wing household.

CairoCarol, I know I shouldn’t worry about the biopsy thing but unfortunately, I’m a worrier. I’m scared to death about how much it might hurt (I’ve never had children so I’ve never experienced any major pains in my uterus, aside from bad cramps from time to time). In other words, I’m a big wuss.

tarragon918, thanks for the good thoughts and I’m hanging as best as I can. :slight_smile:

Oh, man, LifeOnWry, you are so right about the mood thing. Plummets is an excellent way to put it! The other day, I was alternating between wanting to scream in rage (why? I dunno) and crying. I decided crying would be less traumatizing to the dogs.

Huge thanks to everyone that’s replied here! Logically, I know I’m not alone but it really helps to hear the experiences of other women.

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What kicked it for me was the mood swings. I’d sink into a deep, dark pit of despair, and one day, I took my knitting scissors and scored up the inside of my forearm. I’d never done anything like that before.

I saw my doctor, she nodded knowingly, said it is probably peri-menopause, and told me to pick up a whole bunch of vitamins (B-6, E, Evening Primrose Oil, Calcium, Magnesium) and give it about three months.

It seems to be working…I haven’t want to score up my arm again. My period has been much lighter than when I was a teenager…one “heavy” day and that’s about it.

Also, I’m tracking it for other medical reasons, and it came about five days early this month.

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Little Wing, I hear you about the frustration with upping the exercise and the weight not doing a thing. A little over a year ago I also got a dog with puppy-like energy. I walked him two to four miles a pop, three to four days a week, at least one mile on the other days, PLUS rode my exercise bike up to five miles three to four days a week. I watched what I ate very carefully, upped the healthy stuff, cut the fattening stuff. I followed this regimen for six to eight months until it got cold outside. NOTHIN! I have resigned myself to the fact that though I am healthy, I will be carrying this 20 pounds forever.

14

Weight gain! Don’t talk to me about weight gain! Sometime around 40-ish it started to creep up. This was made worse for me by an injury that caused me a lot of pain and limited mobility for a time, and it’s been all uphill from there. I will not mention how many pounds heavier I am since my 30s. I now exercise at least 3 times a week for an hour – weights and cardio, and am careful about my intake, but there seems to be a certain weight that my current metabolism will simply not go lower than.

My theory is that this tendency to conserve weight in mid- to old age is an evolutionary development that was quite appropriate for our hunter-gatherer ancestors, but not so good for us now. As you get older, it’s more difficult to hunt or gather your food, but then you don’t need as much any more. But in our society it’s all too easy to “hunt and gather” much more than you need, at the local supermarket.

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I started perimenopause in my early 40s, and my periods started getting quite irregular not that long thereafter, so you’re not all that early. However, after watching my mother go through menopause with zero medical support, and having massive hot flashes and endless discomfort, I went the alternate route.

Interestingly, one of my earliest symptoms was massive depression, but for some reason I knew it was gynecological in origin – for about two weeks, till I could get in to see the doctor, I wanted to do nothing but lie in bed with the covers over my head. My poor husband was all ready to find me a psychiatrist, and I remember sobbing, “No, I just need to see a GYNECOLOGIST!” :smiley: He believed me, however, when the doctor started me immediately on HRT and within a few hours I’d snapped back to normal.

I took HRT for about five years, switching shortly after I started it to a plant-based estrogen rather than the Premarin which at that point was so commonly prescribed – I found it a lot more gentle on my body. I was able to stop it, by choice, and as it turns out it was just a few months before the report came out about long-term HRT. Since that point, I’ve used an OTC menopause supplement quite successfully.

My major symptoms were night sweats and hot flashes. The hot flashes were easily controlled, but the night sweats were a lot harder to get rid of. To this day I still seem to lose all hormonal control of my thermostat if I try to sleep in a room that’s too warm or, oddly but more commonly, too cold; I break out in hideous sweats, soaking through my nightclothes and the sheets, shivering all the while. So I have to be careful of the temperature of the room I sleep in, but if I’m careful, I don’t have any issues.

I’m in my mid-50s now and have not had a period at all for about two years, and only had a few in the couple years preceding that. I also have few symptoms any more; I take my OTC supplement in the morning, and I can tell I’ve forgotten it if by noon I start having very mild hot flashes. But otherwise, with maintaining the right sleeping temp, I’m in pretty good shape these days. I don’t have any hormonal-related mood swings, at least strong enough to notice, and I have almost no other symptoms. Except for much, MUCH drier skin. I use about ten times the lotion I used to, and I’ve had to up my face cream to super-intensive. Oh, and I’ve started sprouting lots of stray hairs in places I don’t want them, particularly on my face, which really sucks; good tweezers are a must!

Whatever you do, make sure you have a doctor who will listen to you. And trust and believe your own body. After watching my mother so miserable but her symptoms ignored by her doctors, I promised myself I’d never put up with that. Fortunately, doctors seem better educated these days, but because no two women go through the same things, having a doctor who will listen to you and believe you is extra-important.

Oh, and one more odd thing – my first symptom of perimenopause, even before the depression, was ridiculously cold feet and hands. To this day, my feet feel like ice if I don’t keep them extra-warm. As in wearing socks at night year-round, and during the day even during much of the summer. It’s not temperature related, it’s purely hormonal. And thoroughly obnoxious.

Ain’t being a woman fun?

16

I started menopause after a hysterectomy when I was about 45. Hot flashes? I found the best way to handle them at night was to let them dissipate via my gleutius maximus…that is, when they hit throw off the covers & night clothes & let your backside cool down.

I chose hormone therapy for a year, then weaned myself off it. My doctor told me that estrogen is part of brain function, & I was worried about “getting dumb”, (but cancer runs in my family; I’ve mentioned in another thread that the reason I had the hysterectomy was because of cervical cancer) but I looked at my mother & other older women who function well “after a certain age”, so I decided not to risk it. I remember feeling “like a lump in a chair” for a little while, but got on with my life.

Little Wing, sweetie, you’re living in a time when women live longer than ever; an inevitable part of that is menopause.

Warn your SO; scream, shout; do Kegel exercises to strengthen your bladder. And remember, we’re here for you.

Love, Phil

17

I also started menopause after a hysterectomy about three years ago. For the first month or so, I was on an HRT patch but IIRC it was about the time the link between HRT and heart disease became public, so I chose to stop.

I do have night sweats but not horrible ones, I have insomnia, my libido is toast, and I have become completely crazy. By that I mean that at night I will get a thought in my head and I cannot sleep. For example, if my mind suddenly conjures up the fear that someone might break into the house, I have to sleep on the couch with the TV on to prevent lying awake like an owl in the dark, watching the bedroom door. Frustrations and issues from work and home that I could leave behind at night now keep me awake with thoughts running through my head unless…yep, I have to sleep on the couch with the TV on. The chatter of the voices overrules the ones in my head. It’s exhausting and frustrating.

And I really think I’ve gotten off rather lightly.

18

Age 48 (nearly 49) and firmly in perimenopause here. For the last 2+ years my periods have been getting wonkier and wonkier; My average cycle is 25ish days (down from 30ish before) though this means that sometimes they’re 18 days, and sometimes they’re 2 months. Went 3 months, earlier this year. Doc said that if they come more often than 25ish days, more than an occasional thing, they might want to put me on some sort of birth control pill to avoid anemia. Though when they’re that close, it’s not, er, high volume.

The time I went 3 months however… hoo boy. See LifeOnWry’s post about not leaving the bathroom. Guess my body was making up for lost time!

Hot flashes are fortunately rare for me, so far. Though halfway through that 3 month period, I had a vicious case of bronchitis / asthma flareup, and during the sickest of that, I was having hot flashes every hour or so. Just added to the general joy of the whole “can’t breathe” experience. The gyn said that my being sick may have thrown off the hormones, contributing to the 3 month hiatus and hot flashes.

I’ve been fortunate to escape the really awful symptoms. No mood swings to speak of (I’m exhausted all the time which makes me snappish anyway, but that’s unrelated to menopause). The acne is back, oh joy.

And of course I never really know when Aunt Flo will be visiting, so I have to be prepared all the time.

All in all, it hasn’t been too bad so far. I should ask about a bone density test myself. I don’t take in enough calcium, I’m sure. OTOH, I’m very overweight which I guess is actually protective against osteoporosis. And my mother never had any bone problems despite being a lifelong smoker (I think there’s a connection w/ smoking / osteo) and not too overweight.

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I am so glad I had a hysterectomy (kept my ovaries, though) because my mom had nightmare periods for a couple of years before she stopped having them at all. I’m going to be 42 this month, and I expect to be entering perimenopause any old time now, based on family history.

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51.5 years old here. I’ve been on BC pills for years, and was about to go off of them, but my mother died 14 months ago and I didn’t want to deal with menopausal depression at the same time as my grief. Then, even while still on these BC pills, I started having trouble with the same type of despair that ivylass describes. My gyn suggested I was still dealing with my mother’s death, but I insisted it didn’t feel like grief or depression - it was a horrible, physical sensation of despair and almost panic. She then put me on BC pills that were slightly higher in estrogen and things have improved.

I also have had trouble in the past few years with weird heartbeat problems. I got: heart skipping beats, irregular heartbeat, pounding (that is, hard banging sensation, not fast) heartbeat. Two kinds of tests showed my heart to be normal. I gave up alcohol, and that seemed to fix it for awhile. Then the problems came back, and then I gave up chocolate, sugar and white carbs and started taking magnesium. That also seemed to fix it for awhile. But if I’m sick or I indulge in junk food, back it comes. No doctor I’ve seen will entertain any theory that this is connected to menopause, but innumerable women at the Powersurge message board report these exact symptoms and it’s from them I got the tips on giving up sugar and chocolate and taking magnesium.

I suppose at some point I’ll have to give up my last remaining vice: coffee. Rargh.