Statistical howlers

Overheard by a colleague at Lloyd’s of London (the massive insurance market):

Broker 1: This big storm we’ve just had*
Broker 2: Yes
Broker 1: Well, they’re about one in seven years aren’t they?
Broker 2: Yes
Broker 1: So we won’t have one for another six years! We’ll make a fortune!
Broker 2: Oh yes!

pause

Broker 2: No, hang on. The storm might have been at the end of the seven years, so we might get another one next year after all.
Broker 1: Oh yes. Damn.

These are the people handling your workers’ compensation contracts, folks.

pan

*He was referring to the 1987 UK storm, fact fans! Shows the age of the anecdote.

1 in 20000? Feh.

These are just your statistics.

These are your statistics on drugs.

These are your statistics on drugs with coffee, hash browns, and a side of sausage.

Here’s a link:

http://www.cajungrocer.com/images/aisle/5027_a.gif

Surgeon to patient: This operation is very risky. In fact, nine out of ten times the patient dies on the operating table. Fortunately for you, this will be the tenth time I have performed it and all of my other patients died.

Interestingly, these assumptions are very commonly used by athletes and sports fans, who frequently assume that the fact that someone has been in a slump means that they are “due” for a hot spell.

The probability that a pedestrian will get hit by a car once in their lifetime is somewhat low.

The probability that it will happen twice must be miniscule.

I got hit by a car.

Therefore, I don’t have to look both ways anymore before crossing the street.

If one in four eggs really had salmonella, I would have been in serious trouble in my 20’s, when my favorite breakfast was an egg in my beer…

(Doesn’t Sal Monella sound like a rookie pitcher? Throws left, bats right.)

Reminds me of the scene in The World According to Garp where a small plane crashes into the house as the realtor is showing to the Garps, and Garp immediately says, “We’ll take it!”

Would you prefer the USDA’s statistics?

1 in 20,000

Granted, that was a few years ago, perhaps the incidence of Salmonella has gone up 5000x in the last 5 years…

I think you’ve got it all wrong, Ella. The four-egg omelet comes with Nova lox.

I don’t believe that’s correct. You can find the correct statistics here.

Although in a situation as psychological as sports, this might actually be true, given that either a slump or a streak can end up being a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Cite?

Not exactly.

By the way, in case anyone still wonders if it’s true or not, I just called the Coffee Garden and the person who answered the phone said it was.

Ironclad proof that a random employee at the Coffee Garden heard a great story worth retelling.

Along the same lines, I don’t know how many times I saw the late Ann Landers express dismay that (her words, I’m not making this up!), “50% of the doctors in this country graduated in the bottom half of their class at medical school.”

I guess if Ann had her way, medical schools would tighten up their standards so that EVERY doctor would graduate at the top of his/her class!

Remember how pissed off the boss in Dilbert got when he found out that 40 % of sick leave was used on Mondays and Fridays?

Scott Adams received hundreds of letters from fans who didn’t understand that joke.

Really.

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen someone right here on the SDMB have a fun little adventure trying to explain it to another poster, too.

Day-um, that’s scary.