staying faithful...

I have been going out with the same girl for four years and i have-gasp-been faithful to her. But to all you faithful guys out there, how hard is is to stay that way? cause its a devil of a task to keep from fantasising about other girls or longing to be free to explore other pastures-not greener ones but pastures nonetheless. How do you guys cope? I mean, i love her madly but godammnit, staying faithful is torture.

Staying faithful is a matter of reaching a point where it’s worth it to give up the fun of having sex with other people in order to be in the relationship you’re in. You also need to recognize whether or not you’re ready for a long-term monogamous commitment. It’s OK to realize that you’re not yet ready to commit to one person and that you still want the experience of dating lots of different people. I think some people have a hard time with monogamy because they never let themselves freely date without feeling obligated to get into an exclusive relationship.

And there’s nothing wrong with fantasizing about other people. Everyone does, and it’s natural. Being faithful means choosing not to act on those fantasies, not suppressing them.

I married a lady from Wisconsin, the state that made Ed Gein, Jeffrey Dahmer and the Bates Hotel famous. Whenever the slightest thought of infidelity passes through my head, I think to myself, “How good would she have to be to make it worth getting my legs broken and her killed?”, and the thought soon passes.

We also have a little understanding: whatever goes on inside my confused little head is nobody’s business but my own, provided that’s where it stays: in my head.


I have no difficulty in remaining faithful to the woman I love and the relationship we are committed to.

This relationship is based on honesty, trust, and mutual respect and were either of us to seek pleasures with another that trust would be broken, perhaps irrevocably.

Being faithful and monogamous is something that is or rather, has become natural for both of us, were it not so we would not be together. We are both human and as such, are subject to have human desires and can find other people to be attractive. That too, is natural but not something that we act upon.

You said:

“I mean, i love her madly but godammnit, staying faithful is torture.”

I love my Lola with an unbridled passion and find that remaining faithful to her is easy, it would be torture to spend the rest of my life without her.

Perhaps you should really think about what’s important and valuable to you and whether you would be willing to give all that up for a few moments of joy spent with another woman.

I had lots of trouble staying faithful to previous boyfriends, and, frankly, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me.

Since I met my husband I have had one single instance (early in the relationship) of being attracted to another guy. Ever snce then, I have less than zero desire to be with anyone else.

Perhaps you just aren’t with the right person?

My wife makes me watch “Fatal Attraction” once a year. :smiley:

For me it’s just the thought that when (not if) my wife found out I couldn’t bear the hurt it would cause her and indirectly, my daughter.

You can read the menu, you just can’t eat. Heck, I even point out boobage on tellie to my hubby whenever it flashes the screen :slight_smile:

It is normal to fantasize.

Relax and enjoy your relationship.

Congratulations on staying faithful.

Early in my relationship staying faithful was easy. Partly because were going at it all the time, partly because I was clueless that other women were interested, but mostly because we were in love. I would think if you are finding it torture now, that perhaps you aren’t ready for a committed relationship.

As the decades have passed, it has actually become harder, because there have been full years in which our relationship was unsatisfactory. (I just got back from a marital counseling session. :frowning: ) However, now that we have kids, including a girl who was apparantly cloned from her, I just picture that little girl that is still inside her, and how hurt she would be if I screwed up and screwed around.

in a relationship, you have nothing.