I will break down and buy a good rice cooker. I have a cheapo model, and it leaves a nasty burnt crust on the bottom each use.
I propose:
Water should be you hand making a wavy gesture to represent flowing water
Steel should be a karate chop downwards to represent the cutting power of steel
Oatmeal should be you vomiting into your cupped hands.
An alternative, if you live someplace where there’s a Trader Joe’s nearby, is their frozen steel-cut oatmeal. It’s absolutely perfect. You microwave it for like 3 or 4 minutes, and you have fabulously tasty steel-cut goodness. I kind of balked at the price at first ($1.60 for two servings), but the serving size is pretty generous, and it isn’t the least bit gluey. YUM!
If you don’t live near a Trader Joe’s, please accept my condolences.
No Trader Joe’s here but we do have the Whole Foods flagship store here (it’s huuuuuuuge) so don’t feel too bad for us. 
Let’s see, steel cut oats in bulk are .99 a pound so I'm gonna guess that each serving runs me about .05. My rice cooker was around $100 (it’s a really nice model) so it’d take me under half a year to make up the cost. (and I need the savings, I spend my entire paycheck at Whole Foods )
… which is why, around here, a lot of people refer to Whole Foods as “Whole Paycheck.” Love the place, though.
And we’ve been told that we’re getting a Trader Joes soon. I’m SOOOO looking forward to that.
I buy mine in bulk at a slightly upscale, not-quite-WholeFoods grocery store. I keep it in a two gallon canister on my counter, and eat it almost every day. Raisins and brown sugar.