I’ve heard it stated many times, but never so concisely.
I wish I was that terribly bad of a writer.
That peanut line is better than anything Dan Brown has ever written. Well done!
Also, isn’t Mr. Brown kind of a pretentious douche? Or am I mistaken?
Yes, if he could WRITE as well as he could come up with plotlines for stories, he wouldn’t be that bad. He’s not as bad as “dark and stormy night” guy but he’s better then Danielle Steele or VC Andrews
It sounds like an accurate assessment to me. I read The Da Vinci Code and Deception Point in quick succession a couple of years ago and he struck me as a hack who specializes in Perils of Pauline type writing, too. Here’s what the last straw was for me:
Our heroine and another good guy have gotten themselves stranded on an iceberg in the North Atlantic after some wildly improbable events. Our heroine, of course, is not doomed to die a wintry death. Instead, she taps out a message on the iceberg in Morse code which draws the attention of a US nuclear submarine which happens to be on a secret mission in that area. Its arrival doesn’t surprise our heroine because she knows the sub’s in the area. At least, that’s the way I remember it happening – I could be wrong.
Now, I’ve nothing against hack writers. One of my closest friends is a good hack writer who made the New York Times best seller list for the first time earlier this year, and I was thrilled for him. He’s also, frankly, a much better writer than Dan Brown. When I read Mr. Brown’s drek, I was amazed anyone took him seriously enough to consider him a threat. I was also surprised someone managed to make The Da Vinci Code into a dull movie, but that was what the reviews read. There’s a place for Dan Brown’s stuff in the world, but I want a good, old-fashioned light-weight adventure story, I’ll take that old buddy of mine or Clive Cussler over him any time!
Re: Angels and Demons
The book is drek but fast moving drek and the actual story behind the prose is a fun ride.
In the hands of Ron Howard I’ve got good feelings about the flick. Should be fun.
Normally I’d agree, but the last one was pretty bad.
I’ve not read the book, so I don’t know if the movie followed it closely, but I found it so preposterous I wasn’t able to suspend disbelief. Kept laughing in places that weren’t meant to be funny, mostly having to do with Silas.
OK, we have a super-secret organization, and we need a stealthy assassin. Someone who can get in and out without being noticed or attracting attention. Who to pick…
I know - the six-foot albino monk!
On the basis of this, you just may be.
You’re wrong (though I don’t know if I’d say the actual story was any less unrealistic)
[spoiler]Because she works for the NSA she knows of a seabed microphone network which will pick up her banging and flag it for review by a human, who will recognize it as man made and send a helicopter or boat out to investigate. Unfortunately, this process will take days, by which time they’ll be long dead, but the search party will find their bodies and the printout of the doctored ice shaft/meteorite deal and expose the conspiracy.
It just so happens that a submarine is in the area and it picks up her signal first.[/spoiler]
That is a remarkably good analysis of his writing. I thought just that when I read all three of his books - that his style was annoying as hell, but that his cliffhangers were really good hooks - but could never have put it so well.
He explains wayyy too much stuff (London is in England, you know!) not to irritate anyone relatively well-read or -traveled. Of course, that must be why his books have such wide appeal.
ETA: FWIW I found Angels and Demons to be a much better book than The Da Vinci Code.
To each his own. But for me, telling me that the bad-tasting meal I’m eating will only give me diarrhea for a few hours instead of a few days really doesn’t make me want seconds. Even if the diarrhea comes with pretty hallucinations.
That’s a very Swedish simile. To the point.
I’ve never read the guy and I never will, but when I saw the preview for A&D and they mentioned the Illuminati as the bad guys, I literally burst out laughing. Seriously? The Illuminati?
Hmmm, so I was right to worry that Stellan Skarsgard might have my house bugged. My brother said almost the exact same thing to me, word for word, the day before yesterday.
Cliffhangers at the end of each chapter is not exactly an original trick. All the '50s Tom Swift and Nancy Drew books used it, sometimes laughably. I’d have to check, but I think Burroughs did it also, and I’m sure he didn’t invent it. A.O. Scott made fun of Brown’s writing in the review of Angels and Demons today in the Times, btw.
Tom Swift was hanging off cliffs in every chapter back in the 1910s and 1920s. He’s a past master at it.
It’s not really them.
I like Dan Brown’s books. There’s nothing wrong with fast-paced, suspenseful pulp fiction.
Exactly. As I just said to someone someone yesterday, I think they’re pretty similar to the Indiana Jones movies. I think the level of scorn they receive is way out of proportion to what they actually deserve. They’re just fun fast-paced action thrillers, nothing special or life changing, and they’re not trying to be.
I read The Da Vinci Code, which means I don’t need to read any of his other books, or see the movies.
After hearing the premise, I know that Langdon will run around, following the symbols, with many false leads and cliff-hangers along the way. Then, when he has nearly given up hope, he will stumble upon the answer, and save the day. Kind of like with Clive Cussler, only Cussler’s character goes diving.
I haven’t read them but I think I’d probably agree with you. But, I think I understand where the scorn comes from, too. It’s because people who don’t normally read read The Da Vinci Code and went around proclaiming it to be the BEST BOOK EVER!
It’s like when someone tells you their favorite steak is at the Sizzler, you just kind of think, “you probably need to get out more.”