I am sitting here typing with super glue all over my fingertips (unintentionally I promise - and no, I did not think it was hot candle wax!), and remembering other instances with this substance that never seem to turn out exactly as planned…
One particularly memorable one was when I wound up with glue between my ring and pinky finger and my index and middle finger. Fortunately it was around Halloween so I just mumbled ‘Nanu, nanu’ whenever someone thought to ask about my ‘flipper hand.’
My story is actually my brother’s story. sigh for such a bright kid he can be a little bit dim at times.
I think he was doing a collage or something for school and ran out of PVA. Next best thing? Super glue, of course. Needless to say he ended up…rather attatched to his homework. Handing it in must have been fun
My dad did a similar thing once. Again a smart guy but oh such an idiot at times!
He was sticking part of his wet suit back together (don’t ask) and ended up, shall I say, tight fisted? It provided great entertainment for the evening though.
And don’t get me started on the number of times my sister has glued her hands together…
…you know I seem to recall one of them almost gluing…glueing…gl… how the hell do you spell it?! Oh, you know what I mean. They almost glued their finger to their nose!
Maybe I should play with the super glue… It would be interesting to say the least
My niece convinced her much younger sister to put some on her lips. She closed her mouth and couldn’t open it up again until quite a while later, with a lot of help from fingernail polish remover. My sister was PISSED!
I once had a tube of super glue explode in my hands and some of the glue squirted into my eyes. I reacted quickly enough that I didn’t squeeze my eye shut, instead I held it open and immediately rinsed with water. It didn’t help though because the glue had already fused to my eyeball and I wasn’t about to use nail polish remover.
My brother drove me to the emergency room and the Doctor squirted my eye with dye to make sure I hadn’t scratched the retina and that there weren’t any sharp edges on the glue. Then he told me that it wasn’t toxic, there was no retinal damage and he couldn’t pull the glue off without damaging my eye but the glue would simply fall off on its own. Since there wasn’t much else for the Doctor to do, he gave me some drops to prevent infection, told me to fight the urge to rub it and sent me home.
I spent the next few days intently staring at the glue spot on my eye. When I woke up a few days later the spot was gone.
For real wacky glue fun you can get an ultra thin, ultra fast setting grade. It flows somewhat better than water as it seems to have less suface tension. I use it to repair screw holes in wood as the glue flows into the damaged wood fibers and hardens to almost make a composite like fiberglass.
When I was about 3 or 4 a friend across the street from me somehow Krazy glued her eyelid shut for about a week. She still had pieces of it in her eyelashes a month later.
My mother, god bless her soul, had a brainless superglue moment one day about ten years ago now. You know how the lid always seems to get, well, glued on? Well–unable to pry it off with her digits alone, she resorted to biting down on the cap and twisting hard. The lid didn’t come off, but the foil tube broke open and the glue got all over her lips. She couldn’t open her mouth at all.
We ended up in the emergency room with a very embarrassed mother, and a doctor who appeared to be trying very very hard not to laugh.
For Christmas about three years ago, I got my wife a set of fake nails (not the press-on kind, the good kind). Well–kinda good, one cracked at my parents house which was in another city, so my wife decided to fix it herself. She sent me out to Walgreens to get a small brush and some crazy glue.
When I returned home with the crazy glue, my sister, who is a teacher, told my little 7 year old daughter, “Now Katie, don’t touch that stuff. One of my students had some on her hand and touched her eye and had to go to the hospital.”
About ten minutes later, I went into the kitchen to find my wife trying to calm my daughter down. While brushing the glue onto her nail to repair it, my wife glued her thumb and forefinger together–kinda like an “OK” sign. She couldn’t get them apart.
In walks my 9 year old son who sees his sister crying (remembering Aunt Jane’s story, she thought mommy was going to have to go to the hospital. He asked what was wrong, so mommy showed him her finger’s glued together. My son–ever the smart ass held his two fingers together like hers and said “How much sense does mommy have?” For those of you who can’t picture it, he was answering his own question with a “zero”.
My late brother once councilled me that, should I ever have need of an economical disguise, a thin line of Krazy Glue applied to the face will produce a convincing-looking “scar” which should confuse witnesses to any hypothetical crime.
No way… takes all of the fun out of having sensory deprivation in the fingertips. Plus a lot of lotion will do the same thing - oils seem to break down the composition. I did think it might be a good way to commit a crime, though - no prints!!!
A while back, I had to glue a mug handle back together. Because it was Mr. Rilchi’s Starfleet mug and I was the one who had broken it, I put up with his reminding me about forty times to be careful with the Crazy Glue. Well, the last five were starting to be irritating. I told him I thought he should have worked off his resentment by then, and went into the other room.
As soon as I opened the bottle, I heard his footsteps. Without looking up, I loudly announced, “Oh, it’s all over my hands! Oh, woe is me! Now my hand is stuck to the mug! I guess they’ll have to break it to get it off!”
He got the message. And the mug is sturdy now. Not perfect, because some chips were permanently lost in the mishap. But the three remaining pieces fit well together and to the mug itself.
