Stop calling 911 for Mosquito Bites!

Medical Emergency! I got a Mosquito Bite! Help Me!

Tens of thousands get bit every day. The chances you’ll be unlucky and get West Nile Virus are slim. Nothing 911 can do anyhow. Get sick, you go to the hospital.

Sounds legit. I’ll make sure to call 911 next time I get a sunburn, because skin cancer is right around the corner.

Er… I think I’d better come clean with you about this… it’s… um it’s not a mosquito, I’m afraid. You see, a mosquito is what we doctors call very very small. So small it could not possibly have made off with a whole leg. What we’re looking for here is I think, and this is no more than an educated guess, I’d like to make that clear, is some multi-cellular life form with stripes, huge razor-sharp teeth, about eleven foot long and of the genu felis horribilis. What we doctors, in fact, call a tiger.

Tiger?! In Africa!?!?!

Where do you think it got the West Nile virus?

I’m just agog that tigers get to be 11 feet long! Wait…tail. It’s gotta be the tail, right? Maybe with the tongue stretched out…

Yeah, don’t call 9-1-1. But DO call your mayor’s office. At least here in Indy, if your area starts getting thick with mosquitos, enough complaints will bump your neighborhood up the priority list to get fogged.