This is a GREAT IDEA FOR A REALITY TV SHOW. You should call the networks!
I think winning an argument due to an error in attribution is probably the debate equivalent of Steffi Graf beating Monica Seles because she got stabbed.
But whatever, I’ll take it. 
I thought this rant was going to be more along the lines of, “Oh, I can’t spell - tee hee!” If you know you can’t spell*, maybe you should make an effort to learn, instead of thinking your lack makes you cute.
*Just an example of a common ability that people are proud of not being able to do. You could also insert “do math” or “read maps” or something like that.
I do know who Snooki and The Situation are - I wish I didn’t because I felt my IQ drop just typing their names, but I do.
Hey, now, don’t go thinking I’m some sort of hermit or master of meditation. I totally get that one can absorb pop culture info by osmosis. I saw The Shining almost in its entirety before I actually rented and watched it. That said, Jersey Shore ain’t The Shining. They don’t advertise it during shows I watch, and any references to and parodies of it on shows I watch are kept to a fleeting minimum (I think I once skimmed over an Onion headline along the lines of “they went swimming and now there’s an oil slick”).
If you know who most of the cast are and what’s actually going on on that show, it’s because of the media you choose to consume. Maybe you watch shows targeted at the same demographic as Jersey shore, or buy magazines or listen to radio stations along the same lines. Whatever it is, I can assure you that it’s not unavoidable; I’m not exposed to it because I’m busy wasting my time on different, separate, stupid bullshit.
Have you ever been watching a quiz show where a contestant is having difficulty responding to a question which you answered immediately, and you start thinking “You dumb fuck! How can you not know that?” and then moments later you think “How the fuck did I even know that, and what good has it served me if I can’t even help the poor fucker who needs the answer?”
This might be the most insightful thing I’ve seen you post, which granted, isn’t saying much.
You know, this reminds me of the disagreement between the approaches of Eugene Maleska and Will Shortz, the former and the current editors of the New York Times crossword puzzle.
Mr. Maleska’s puzzles tended to include a lot of obscure and highbrow stuff and as little pop culture as possible. Mr. Shortz, on the other hand, feels that the scope of the puzzles should reflect the scope of the Times itself. So he includes sports, pop culture, etc.
A lot of people objected to this, saying that the puzzle should eschew such lowly subject matter. Shortz stuck to his guns and revitalized the puzzle.
The funniest argument against Shortz’s approach was “how can you expect me to know some of this stuff, like the name of some rapper?”
Well, my answer to that is that they can learn the names of some rappers the same way I learned the capital of Latvia and the name of a Sicilian mountain. By doing the puzzle! If I have to learn Riga and Etna, you can learn Ice T, Ice Cube, and Dr. Dre.
Look people, you’re not going to get mentally polluted by learning the names of 3 rappers.
While we’re on the subject, I’d just like to point out that I eschew all rappers who have their own clothing lines.
Huh. Look at you people with your fancy ass words. Eschew? Where I come from, that’s the sound you make when you sneeze.
Where I come from, it is considered impolite to sneeze.
I feel superior when I know bits of everything, no matter how culturally inane or obscure
You never know when the capital of North Dakota (Bismarck) will come in handy, or what NWA stands for.
I have moments of clarity between the hilarity. Either that, or it was a fluke.
Eschew obfuscation
And only three "fuck"s too, so pretty classy.
And eschew it properly, or you might choke on it.
Yeah, I could never stand folks who are more ejumakaited than me.
The longer you ejumakait, the more you’ll need glasses.