Hi!
By the way, I meant this in a supportive way, not in an accusatory way.
Please, I need no introduction…
I made the mistake at a party last week of asking a Detroit area judge what kind of cases he heard. He told me more than I needed. He gets lots of juveniles. The tales were terrible but he handled it by believing he and the system had saved a lot of kids. He was convinced he helped kids get through school and straighten out their lives. Maybe he did, but from where they were when he ran into them, to becoming good citizens was a long journey.
Oak, you have a job that sucks more often than not. I, for one, am glad that you’re there to do it.
Take the advice of some of the other posters and chill out watching football for the weekend, have a couple of adult beverages, maybe put a DVD of the Duke in when the game is over and hie thee to a casino some weekend when no vital games are on. That, and have a couple of good friends to lean on.
Hope things get better for you.
Gesundheit!
Yep, sounds like you need a break. You’re single and self-employed, right? No boss other than yourself. No commitments either. So do it. Go spend at least 2 weeks - preferably 4 - chilling out. Don’t think of it as an expense but as an investment in your future. Maybe you’ll come back recharged and once more ready for the fray; maybe you’ll decide that you’ve really had your fill of being a Public Defender and it’s time to switch. But you need to give yourself time.
Oakie, I suck at sincere, but I’m gonna try it.
Anecdote: knew a guy in the Waybackwhen. Back when they were drafting for Viet Nam. This was bit before things got really heavy, say, early '67. Anyway, he was a sincere conscientious objector, I knew him for years, and he was the genuine article, wasn’t trying to pull any shit. They offered him a role as a medic, a corpsman, and he refused. Which surprised me, because it was not for refusing any cooperation, like some CO’s had insisted upon. He told me right out, its because he thought himself a coward. He said he could maybe…maybe!..handle combat if he had a chance to fight back, but he wouldn’t be able to handle being helpless, unarmed. And if he took the training, and got out there and couldn’t deal with it, somebody would die because of him.
And he couldn’t do that.
I thought about that for a long time, and figure he’s more or less right.
And cops. Had some bad interludes with cops, and kinda prejudiced against. But I’ve met a couple of policemen I am frankly in awe of. Protect and serve, they really mean it. Men of strength, dignity and honor who can treat anyone with respect. Wade through the crud that a cop sees everyday and remain good men. Like I said, awe.
Point being, there are ten gazillion ways to do good. But if you are not made of moral titanium, if you have your share of human weaknesses, so what? If this road is too tough for you, there is another road, there is always another road. So long as you plod in the right direction, as the I Ching says, no blame.
If this thing tires you, sickens you, empties you out…you won’t be able to do any real good, you’ll be lucky to plod through the motions. Not even doing yourself any good. Well, except for all the money and hot chicks, I mean.
I call on you to go easy on Oakminster. He’s a good ol’ boy, and deserves a break.
Oh, no, you didn’t! Unh-uh! You got nothin’! I park my bicycle in the handicap zone! Give out doggie treats on Halloween! Counterfeit money to panhandlers! When it comes to “asshole”, you’re an amateur!
Or, as a boss once told me, “WhyNot, if you were indispensable, we’d pay you more. Go home.” 
Oakie, keep doing what you’re doing while you can. And then stop. Yes, things are going to be hard for a while when you leave, that’s probably true. But if you let yourself burn out and stay in that position, things are going to be even harder. You won’t truly be helping anymore *and *the higher ups won’t realize they need to be finding a new person for the position.
Remember what we tell people traveling with passengers who need assistance on airplanes: put your own oxygen mask on first, *then *assist other passengers. You’re no good to anyone if you’re not good to yourself first.
(All that being said, I hope the weekend was a refreshing one for you!)
Pish posh.
If I deign to give money to panhandlers, I shoot dollar coins at them with a wrist-rocket and aim for their faces and genitals.
This year for Halloween, I’m having special, plastic versions of the miniature candy bars made - by a Chinese company so I’m sure they also contain plenty of lead and cadmium - and resealing them in the real wrappers.
That and I’m a big fan of Ken Anderson.
Ha! All of that, plus too much of a snob to admit I know who that is!
You do a yeoman’s job, OP, and you defy the basic principle of the Universe that we all ascribe to: that lawyers have no souls. How can this be?
This thread is entirely too friendly (and deservedly so) for the Pit. I’m moving it over to MPSIMS.
Meh. The thing about all this is that it implies that doing what Oak is doing now is somehow “morally better” than waiting tables or, say, doing tax law. It’s not.
Oak has a job. If he doesn’t like it anymore, he can get a different job. If doing something that he feels helps people makes him happy, then fine. If not, then that’s fine too. Doing what he’s doing is not on some higher plane of moral worthiness than doing any other job in the known universe.
I wrote a bunch here, but realized it was kinda futile against the Rand Rover “a job is a job is a job fine finesse” approach.
I was kancho-ed twice yesterday. My soul is black as midnight on a moonless night.
Don’t try this in a CCW state.
No one said he’s on a higher moral plane. Are you feeling jealous for some reason? Weren’t you just complaining about having to do pro bono work?
Reminds me of the Tuli Kupferberg story about a bunch of H-bombs hanging around, chilling, and one of them was all moody and depressed. So, they got to talking to him, trying to find out what’s wrong, and he up and says:
“I want to be a bullet.”
“A bullet? Whatsamatta you? You’re a fucking thirty-five megaton hydrogen bomb, you can flatten a city just like that! Why the hell would you want to be a puny bullet?”
“I miss the personal touch.”