Stop wearing 'youthful' clothes just b/c you're older, or b/c your body changes?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I just turned 46, but still like to dress like I did 20 years ago…jeans, sneakers (trainers), and some kind of shirt. Not that I refuse to wear dressier clothes when the occasion demands, but I still like to dress as described above.

By rights, I ought to be giving up jeans for khakis, but I don’t want to. And besides, I’ve got pretty much the same body shape that I did 20 years ago. Consequently, it makes me ask why people change the way they dress as they progress through life. Is it because they feel obliged to just because of their age, or is it because their bodies change?

2

I personally see nothing wrong with the way you dress. And you are not old.

I think that people change the way they dress because of the association that clothes have with age. Some articles of clothing (such as capri pants) are associated with young. I also think that if you dress correctly, that anyone can wear anything.

One time I was sitting in the student union after a football game. This girl came in with her mother. The mother was sporting pig tails, a hoodie sweatshirt and capri pants. She looked like she was trying to hang on desperately to her teenhood. the outfit would have been fine on her daughter, but the mother didn’t look right.

Oh and that reminds me of another incident. I was having dinner with a friend in the same union. There was a girl and her mother sitting at the table sort of cattycorner from ours. The girl had some guy friends come to the table and give her a hug. The mother forced herself into hugs with the guys! They looked like they swallowed a cat. Then she proceeds to flirt with the guys and talk about going to the bars! OMG, one word: Desperate! It was almost embarrassing. There was a football game on the tv and she would jump up and cheer everytime the team scored.

In the end, it is the way you carry yourself and how the clothes are worn and of course the situation.

Anyway more power to you for dressing the way you do! I am sure you look great!

3

I agreeSpectre of Pithecanthropus . I have to say I dress much the same as I did when I was in my 20’s and 30’s (mostly jeans, T shirt, sneakers) and I don’t see myself changing the way I dress anytime soon, if ever.

I often wonder what the baby boomer generation will dress like when they reach 75+. I’m sure they will go for the leisure suits in preference to the dress, stockings and heels the older women seem to have always worn as far back as I can remember.

4

But, geewhiz, your statement illustrates my point exactly. You seem to be saying that the mom was clinging to her youth, but the question is, I see a lot of women in their 40’s, or even 50’s, who still look great in such clothes (I’m married to one. :)). Could the mom you saw pull it off, or was she overweight? I’m guessing the mom was in her 40’s or early 50’s, which isn’t that old.

5

Similar phenomenon: Women who cut off their hair when they reach a certain age and are married (not including those who do it for religious reasons). I don’t know why they do it, either. Personally, I just can’t wear jeans that show off my midriff below the belly-button, but that’s because I don’t have an absolutely flat and beautiful stomach. If I had the figure for it, I’d do it.

6

Believe me, ratatoskK, you don’t need a perfectly flat stomach to wear low-rise pants. It might be best if a person does have that, but I don’t think it’s a prerequisite.

7

I dunno about youthful, but I love sexy clothes - low-cut, tight tops, tight skirts, bit of black lace here and there. I like punky stuff too, having come of age in the first wave of new wave - black leather and so forth.

However, I’m living the life of a suburban soccer mom, so I mostly wear jeans and tee-shirts or pullover-type tops. It’s not my age that stops me from dressing sexy as much as it is my lifestyle.

8

Jeans, capris, sneakers, and the like are pretty much always age-appropriate. It’s the really cutesy things that can cause problems, like little tiny t-shirts that say things like “2 Cute 4 U,” or Strawberry Shortcake wear, or pigtails. Figure appropriate clothing is related to this, definitely - a lot of teenager-style clothes are very short and tight and lowcut, but lots of women can wear sexy clothing at any age. After a certain age, however, it’s time to say goodbye to the little girl look and go for something a bit cleaner.

Is anyone else bothered by women who overdose on clothing featuring cartoon characters? Especially Winnie the Pooh? I don’t know why I don’t like it, but I just don’t. No idea why.

9

I think that jeans and a T-shirt is perfectly normal casual, lounging around-wear for just about everybody. The issue isn’t really one of violating some sort of unspoken ageist dress code. It’s more about the fact that your values and self-image–and, therefore, the impression you want to give others of yourself–changes over time.

I’m 30. I spend most of my time in jeans and a T-shirt. When I’m wearing something other than that, I like to wear clothing designed for women in their 30s. (Actually, what I’d really love is a wardrobe of custom-tailored salwar kameez. But until I make it to India, or earn a lot more money, that’s out of the question.) I think it makes me look like I’ve developed a certain healthy maturity, reserve, self-discipline, and achievement that going to seminars in capri pants and oh-so-cool Abercrombie and Fitch tees simply wouldn’t convey. I get the feeling that clothes for women older than 25 emphasize self-confidence and self-acceptance–and with that self-confidence and self-acceptance, I think, comes some modesty. After a period of experimentation in your teens and 20s, you don’t need to have the entire world appreciate your flat belly, your rebelliousness, or your insouciant coolness. You know you’re appealing and passionate, but you’re willing to let that be an unspoken fact, rather than a statement in need of corroboration.

Clothing made for 25-and-under women tends to say, “Look how cool/independant/rebellious/physically appealing I am!” while clothes for women older than that tends to say, “I’ve had some growth experiences, I’ve developed good taste, a healthy sense of discretion and of what’s really important in life. Respect me for the knowledge and experience I’ve earned.”

I think most people assume that you don’t have the need to be as forward about yourself as you get older as you did when you were younger. People assume that a well-adjusted, post-25-year-old is going to have come to a more secure and well-formed identity, and that your clothing is going to reflect that. (I think people also expect that your body language is going to change to reflect that, too. That’s why some women in their 60s can get away with some clothing styles that usually associated with much younger women; the body language of these women tends to reflect a lot of confidence, so the fact that the clothing is more typical of 20-year-olds doesn’t matter.) When people in their 40s are projecting a sense of identity that’s more usual in a twentysomething, it seems that there’s something amiss with that person’s life. I think that’s ultimately why people feel that different styles of clothing are appropriate for people of different ages.

Wow–I can’t believe I just wrote a good 3 paragraphs on clothing. I must really, really, really not want to study tonight. :smiley:

10

My mom is definitely old, (but not in spirit) and she wears lots of jeans and t-shirts.

She also has semi-long hair (no granny frizzy cut). And she looks fine. She doesn’t look like she’s trying to look young. She doesn’t look “desperate.”

I feel the same way. I have long hair now (in a single braid or ponytail) and I will probably have it when I’m her age. I will also wear jeans and t-shirts, as I do now.

There are certain styles that are classic. Certain kinds of skirts, tops and trousers are classic—neither young nor old in style. I don’t think you have to stop wearing these styles after a certain age. I also think that there is no age where jeans and t-shirts are not appropriate. They just are what they are. Comfortable and practical.

11

Is it OK for a middle-aged woman to wear ceremonial robes?

12

That depends–are you going to a minor Fall harvest rite, or are we talking full-on Aztec human sacrifice, here?

13

Quote from **Spectre of PithecanthropusCould ** the mom you saw pull it off, or was she overweight?

Ummm, I dont’ understand why you would consider an overweight person not able to look good in that outfit. I am a size 14 (which society considers overweight) and I look great in capri pants and even shorts (I have great legs). She did not look good because she looked older even with the pigtails and capri pants. She really did look like she was trying to hide her age and was not succeeding. It was hard to explain but she did not look (for lack of a better word) appropriate. And actually she was very slim so that has nothing to do with it. I think Scribble hit it on the money though when she said it looked like something something was amiss.

I think the problem comes in when someone is trying to hide their age or to purposely look younger through clothes. When I say that, I mean someone who obviously is older (late 40’s 50’s and beyond) and they go around in really short shorts or microminis. It gets to the point where it really doesn’t fit. And this woman had crossed the line. Maybe if she would have taken the pigtails out it would have been ok.

And Scribble, your post was beautifully written, so I will second what you said.

I am 31 years old. Tennis skirts with cute underwear underneath is what is in. I would look stupid and desperate in them. I look about 22 but convey a certain confidence that 22 year olds typically don’t (you know, the confidence that comes with age). (Also I have friends who I call the fashion police who would be after me about the outfit.)

Scribble, I hear you about the studying. I am putting it off too. We were on spring break this past week and I am going to have trouble getting back into the groove.

14

I was describing an outfit to my student as part of a case vignette. When I got to the fact that the person was wearing Levi’s, they rolled their eyes and said, " Oh, that’s so 80’s!"

15

It’s hard to make a judgement about other people’s clothing without seeing it. For example, “jeans and a tshirt” can mean anything from high-trend dark wash low-rider jeans with a tiny logo tshirt to light-wash, hiked-up-past-the-bellybutton tapered jeans with a tucked in plain white tshirt. There’s a HUGE middle ground there.

There are definitely more adult styles of jeans and tshirts, in the middle ground, where you’re not super trendy but not yet “unstylish”. IMO, there’s no need to EVER cross the style line. Just b/c you’re not trendy does not mean you’re unstylish… but sometimes what’s stylish for teenagers can look incredibly UNSTYLISH on an older woman.

I tend to think that you’re just fine.

16

Uh… No.
Why should we wear leisure suits? Those have been out of style for decades and looked stupid even then.

I’m on the leading edge of the baby boomer generation, and when I have a choice in the matter, I wear jeans and comfy shirts. I go barefoot when it’s practical, which is rarely. I wear my hair several inches below shoulder length. When it’s getting in my way, I loop it up in a clip. All pretty much what I’d have done 30 years ago. And hope to continue doing. I don’t claim to be typical, but no one I know wears stockings and heels when they are on their own time.

One big difference is that my current shape would not look good in the itty bitty skirts we used to wear. And it would look dumb.

17

I think it really depends on whether you look good in it. I submit the following two examples, both from last school year.

One day, as I was walking down the street, I noticed a certain blonde. She was wearing low-rise jeans and a skimpy tank top. This would have been fine if it had belonged to any of the youthful coeds on campus. I may even have drooled. However, it was clinging tightly to a woman who could have been my grandmother. From the looks of her, she could possibly have my great-grandmother. She was saggy, she was old, she was gross. She would have lloked good in something a little less skimpy, a little less tight. As it was, she made me want to remove my eyes.

Another time, I was riding a bus onto to campus. As I look out the window, I spy … something … sauntering down the street. My initial thought was “Oh my God, what the hell is that?” My next response was “Sweet Jesus, that’s HUMAN!” She was wearing a black tube top. I have no clue how old she was, as soon as I realized she was human I diverted my eyes in a self-preservation reaction. That’s right, self-preservation overrode horrid fascination. Protruding just above her tank top, was the creased skull of Lt. Worf, the Klingon on Star Trek. For those of you who are not familiar, Worf’s cranium, rather than being flat and smooth, makes a ridge down his forehead. This lady’s chest did that. I could identify individual ribs and even her sternum. This is wrong. If your chest looks like a Klingon forehead, wear a shirt that covers it.

In short, if it looks good, go for it. If you make small children cry, nix it. From the sound of it, you care enough about your appearance that you will probably not make small children cry.

18

As a “woman of a certain age” wearing classics (and jeans are classic) you can’t go wrong no matter what your age. At a certain age, what looked sexy at twenty just looks desperate - but whole new clothes look sexy. Few women older than 30 look good in low riders and a belly shirt (hell, few eighteen year olds actually look good in low riders and a belly shirt). At a certain age, extreme fads look silly. I saw a woman what I hope was her mid to late 30s (or she’d had a very hard life) doing the very Goth look - honey, time to grow up now.

I’ve made adjustments because my body has changed. No midriff bearing - I can’t stand the sight of my post pregnancy tummy. And I’ve made changes because my life has changed - kids, husband, a pretty serious career have replaced the need for club clothes. And I’ve made changes because the fashions have changed (had some pretty hot early 90s clothes - but they don’t look hot now). But I haven’t really made changes just because I’m older (hell, I still have sweatshirts from college).

(And Audrey Hepburn looked great in capris in her 60s).

19

To weigh in here with a man’s opinion about his own gender…

I think there’s a certain point (late '20s, early 30’s) where men have to stop dressing and having hair cuts like a college kid, or else they’ll be considered somewhat ridiculous in the US adult world.

I’ve been having an ongoing argument with my 24 year old younger brother (I’m 31) as to whether I’m just an “old dork/old fart” and “not stylish”, or whether I’m just being age appropriate when I refuse to wear Abercrombie & Fitch or some of the other clothes he thinks I should wear.

I think it depends a lot on the social circles you’re in- if you’re a rock star, you can wear odder and less age-appropriate clothes than if you’re an investment banker.

20

I can’t stop thinking of that Saturday Night Live ad for Mom Jeans. “Cause you’re not a woman anymore, you’re a mom.”

I read an article in a fashion magazine showing Jeans and a T-Shirt for each decade of life. It had like, the evolution of how to wear jeans. I wish I could remember more about it but basically, by the time you’re in your 60s you will be in mom jeans because otherwise your bum will scare the kids.