The cable guy came to my new (rented) house yesterday, and now the joys of digital cable have returned to my life.
Thing is … there’s some … oh, unusual channels that are part of the lineup. Let’s see …
Boomerang en Espanol - all 1960s cartoons, all in Spanish.
ZEE TV - Indian music videos. “Yes, we are liking our reverb very much please.”
Some Phillipino channel, with shows like “You Zo Sexy.” All shows seem to be in English, Spanish and Tagalog … all spoken in the same sentence, languages changing every couple of few words.
Some channel with a show featuring two elderly rabbis arguing in Russian. Turned back an hour later, and the rabbis are still at it.
What’s the most unusual thing your cable system offers?
If I may cheat and mention C-Band (big dish) satellite…
Saw an Alice In Wonderland once that had a real actress made to look young (an obvious band over her chest) with cartoon backgrounds and clay animation. Made me wonder if I ingested some chemicals in my youth.
A Channukah telethon from Long Island. A five foot Rabbi urging me to send in money. For $34.00 I could have gotten a kippa with the Harley Davidson logo on it. I almost called in for that. I’m a short guy myself.
There is a regular show of the Preacher who wears two pairs of glasses, smokes cigars and alternates between Jesus and the pyramids. He had a Spanish interpreter and a white board he kept drawing on with out erasing so that you couldn’t tell what was on it.
In the Twin Cities, at the very bottom of the digital tier, channel 1057 or something, we also have a vietnamese network (great cooking shows) and Asia TV in addition to Zee TV. They’re like a hidden easter egg; I don’t think Time Warner even lists them on the official channel line-up.
We also have the International Channel, which randomly features bizzare shows like the philipino version of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”
I get Asia TV too. I’ve nicknamed it the “Let’s hold the microphone really far away from the singers and add more reverb than Zee TV uses” channel.
The Phillipino channel has a show on now called “Morning Girls.” It’s not in English. It’s not in Spanish. It’s not in Tagalog. It’s in all three languages … even on-screen graphics change languages every couple of words. 'Top 20 music videos esta bang ping baddabing pingpong."
Does cable access count? The cable access in North Hollywood Ca. was a scream. There was Guttervision, which was like some hardcore goth variety show. Then there was Skip E. Lowe, a washed up actor who sits there with other washed up actors telling old Hollywood war stories. There was another regular show where all you’d hear is a bass drum and harmonica, while an elderly, overweight woman would dance around in a black leotard. That was the entire show! A solid 30 minutes of just this woman dancing around. I also remember some people in Venice Beach did a home made soap opera, one episode featuring a close up of a penis being pierced. And who could forget Art Fein’s Poker Party? It was exactly what it sounds like.
I live in Burbank now, and public access sucks here.
Anyone from Austin remember Wolf Zendik and Zendik Farm? How about Ask Livia Live? Austin had very entertaining public access back in the late 80s/early 90s.
And then there was that crazy old guy who would be jawboning some incoherent mishmash at every city council meeting. It was worth watching to see how long the council members could keep a straight face while he was going on and on.
Slightly off-topic, I used to be able to pick up something called Channel America. It featured Jai Alai you could bet on and Joe Don Baker’s (mercifully) short-lived series Eischied. i don’t know where it came from or where it went.
Back in the late '80’s on one of the Open channels on Montgomery County Cable, every Wednesday night from 8:45-10:00 PM, the screen would go from black to a picture of an old guy sitting in a chair with newspapers on his lap.
Which he would proceed to read aloud.
For an hour and 45 minutes.
In later years there would be a cat that would run around the set and occasionally attack the man’s legs.