Actually, the plastic cover for my toilet paper. The brand is Angel Soft, manufactured by Georgia Pacific. On the cover, there is a small series of images that look like rolls of toilet paper squooshed into different positions.
What is the significance of the images? I believe there’s a “registered trademark” sign right after them. Are they some secred code? Do I need to put an extra layer of tin foil in my hat?
BTW, I speak quite highly of Angel Soft. Whenever you have that “get up and go” feeling, I recommend that you get up and go get some Angel Soft. I am a very satisfied customer.
Also, I don’t know that these hieroglyphics (or would it be more like copropapyroglyphics?) are on every pack. I buy only the 24-packs, and it is on them.
Its probably a trade mark, if its registered as such. you could go to the US Trade Mark Registry and do a search on the manufacturer’s name which would might have a verbal description of the logo.
I’m actually not familiar with that brand. I thought you might have been refering to the rectangular cut outs you get in toilet paper sometimes.
Angel Soft, double rolls: no bizarre images that I can see. Of course, I don’t have the 24-pack with me, just the 16 double-rolls (no, they don’t fit on a TP holder well, but they did cst a lot less on sale). I’m sure in another 48 rolls (well, their equivalent), I’ll buy another 24-pack.
Anyway, the only pictures I see are labelled, clearly, “soft,” “thick,” and “absorbent” They appear to be somewhat-appropriate ideograms for such adjectives.
The codes could be part of a sophisticated tracking system monitored by the FBI.
Governments all over the world are gathering ever increasing amounts of data concerning the habits and fetishes of ordinary people such as Toilet Paper Users (TPU’s).
These people are under constant surveillance from the moment they walk out of the store with the toilet paper until the last piece of the final roll has been used.
Then it starts all over again.
The codes are not evident on the 16 double-rolls because that product is tracked using a different technology.
“California’s New Age community will embrace toilet paper like never before!” says Shirley McClaine. “Never before has the use of toilet paper been so common among Spiritual Channelers!”
Well, I was at the store yesterday, and I stood there in the aisle at Wal-Mart laboriously turning a 24-pack of Angel Soft over and over in my hands, examining it, while Bonzo stood by patiently with the shopping cart (he’s used to Mom’s “it’s for General Questions” attacks). But I couldn’t see anything that looks like what you describe, M.
And neither could Bonzo, who finally got curious enough to drop his “I’m a kewel dude” persona and come help me look through the inventory. No funny “smooshed TP roll” logos anywhere, sorry.
The last 24-pack I bought did not have the icons I mentioned. In their place were two butterflies.
A little closer description of what I described, though:
The glyphs were arranged thus:
A A
B B C D D D
E E
Each letter represents an icon.
“A” looked like am upright roll of TP, with opposite sides slightly scrunched downward.
“B” looked kinda squarish.
“C” was a solid dot, sorta like an Arabic zero.
“D” also looked like slightly scrunched, but differently from the preceding row.
“E” looked like a set of swimming flippers, pointing downward.
That’s from memory. I’ll dig it out of the trash sometime and update it if anyone else responds.
Wow! I didn’t see anything like that! You’ve obviously intercepted some CIA or paper industry secret code.
So?
So?
Okay, so, how long does it take you to go through the garbage, M? I guess this is probably the only time you’ll ever be thankful you didn’t take all that trash out when you should have.
[looking up FBI 1-800 hotline number on Google while waiting]
Sad to say, you have stumbled upon the toilet paper that is reserved for The Mob. It’s coded that way so the distributor remembers which corner to “lose” the load at.
The Mob won’t understand. I’m a rat. I owe them a lot, so I’ve given them your home address. Better put the paper on the stoop, with replacements for any you used, plus a coupon for more.
OK, I dug it out. Here’s what it looked like, and how they were arranged:
. . . . . A A
B C B D D
E E
The dots are just to keep the “A A” from shifting over.
“A” were the slightly scrunched-to-one-side TP rolls.
“B” were also slightly scrunched-to-one-side TP rolls.
“C” was the squarish, solid-filled dot.
“D” were roughly shaped like old-timey ST TOS phasers, standing upright, with the “muzzle” pointing upward, handles pointing away from each other.
“E” looked like the diving flippers.
US Security Service technology is not as advanced as this Toilet Paper plastic cover code system, so what you describe is not an FBI-sponsored surveillance system.
So that’s a relief anyway.
What you have unwittingly stumbled upon is the ‘Rosetta Stone’ of Toilet Paper. Scientists have been searching for the key to Toilet Paper use since the Great Harrods’ Handkerchief Fiasco of 1926, during which time various items of cotton and linen intended for the collection of detritus from the Nose Area of the body were utilised an a manner not normally associated with British Royalty.
Significantly, there was an abdication from the British Throne only 10 years after this disgusting debacle, but I am not saying that the two events were in any way connected.
I will need time to correctly interpret the parameters for use of Angel Soft paper. In the meantime I am curious to know what colour is the toilet paper in question and are the butterflies on the second packet facing South.
Your early attention in the matter is appreciated.
Were the symbols different colors or just black symbols?
I see two interesting things on the plastic wrapping of 12 double rolls of Quilted Northern (Fort James Corp).
On the back there are two adjacent dotted line squares tilted at a 45 degree angle. One square contains a heart symbol and the other square contains a flower symbol. Even though the TP is all white, it is embossed with repeating squares with the heart and flower symbols.
On the bottom of the package is a rectangular matrix of 11 squares by 2 squares. The squares are of various colors or combination of colors. I’m pretty sure that this serves as some sort of printing quality control.
Could either of these two things explain what you see on your package?
Okay, in the middle of the night it popped into my head where I’ve seen something similar–those Chinese characters on boxes and wrappers. Are they maybe Chinese ideograms, slightly smooshed-up due to being printed on wiggly plastic?
