Strange, strange book ads

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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(In which a topic a little bit Cafe and a little bit Pitty falls into the realm of the mundane.)

So I’m leafing through today’s [8/18] NYT Book Review section, and on successive recto pages are group ads for works from Xlibris and iUniverse. Which, for those who don’t know, are decent quality but wholly author-driven print-on-demand publishers.

The books listed are so bizarre, and so bizarrely presented, that I had to keep checking to make sure it wasn’t a parody or an insert from The Onion. If you chance on a copy somewhere, time spend on pages 5 and 7 will be worth your effort.

Just a few examples:Title: I Have Discovered ATLANTIDE!
Author: Skender Hushi
56 pages
Softcover
$31.99
“What if the lost island of Atlantis’ location is finally known? In IHDA!, Skender Hushi maps out the whereabouts of a city housing an advanced civilization - an island that was once larger than Libya and Asia together.”
Now, if it had been the size of Connecticut and China together… we might be able to take it seriously, right?Title: FREE WILL
Author: Enel Vale
180 pages
Softcover
$19.99
"The subject of openly refuting free will is out of the closet. It’s questioned whether human beings can make their own decisions in all matters of life. It is time to understand that “Free Will” is The Ultimate Nonsense.
Um. 'Nuf sed.Title: TOO MUCH BLOOD (A Toni Day Mystery)
Author: Jane Bennett Munro
400 pages
Soft Cover
$22.95
*“TMB *is a gripping book that reveals how one midnight call drastically changes everything in the life of a brilliant and young female pathologist - leading her to a life-threatening situation and a complex web of events.”
“Paging Robin Cook… Mr. Cook, your generic novel outline has been stolen…”

There are two dozen more books in these ads, most just as odd, amateurish and lumpily presented. This is two very expensive pages in a very prestigious review section… I’m sure that both houses (or are they conjoined these days?) have far better books to promote, both on their own merits and to support the value of author-driven publishing. But these are… so bizarre.

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Typical vanity press ads (Vantage Press used to do the same thing). They offer “promotion” (often for an extra fee) and take out the ads. They are useless for selling a book, but they can tell the author, "Look! You’re in the New York Times Book Review.

The nature of the list depends on who paid them for it that week (Vantage used to take out weekly ads for their titles without additional fees), so it’s a bit . . . eclectic.

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That makes sense. Although I don’t remember any Vantage ads that promoted individual titles, just that tired old “We’ll Publish Your Book!” come-on. And if there have been predecessors to these ads, I’ve missed them in 30 years of reading the Sunday Times.

Poor bastards. (In both senses.) I suppose it’s a good thing that authors can go direct to their audience, but these are the equivalent of putting bunny skiers at the top of an Olympic jump after selling them $5k in “real Olympic-style” gear.